I’m 32. I have a job but not a career. I have a house but not a home and an existence but not a life. Like you I went through a huge mid-life crisis last year, I know I started questioning my beliefs, my purpose and my (lack of) direction in life. I’d spend hours awake in my worn out single bed, looking up at the ceiling and wondering just what the hell I was doing with my life and how folks younger than me had it all sorted out. I even developed an intense hatred for this guy at work, he was 26 years old, married to a wife who made him the most amazing looking sandwiches, had an enormous home and was rapidly climbing the corporate ladder. As I sat alone in the canteen eating whatever I had managed to scrap together for lunch I’d look at this guy, sat surrounded by friends in his smart shirt and tie while eating those amazing looking sandwiches. Each time it felt like fate was laughing in my face at failing in life.
Then something changed. I asked himself if I really wanted that life. I don’t want to be an office drone all my life so the corporate future isn’t something I really desire, all his friends were dicks so I didn’t need those, being a minimalist I really don’t desire a big home and while he had a wife I had years of travel and experience under my belt. Ok so I wanted the sandwiches but that was about it.
The trick is learning to realise that life is what you make it. I know that’s been passed around for a millennia but I realised instead of trying to mimic the perceived success of others I should focus on doing what I consider successful instead no matter how obscure it may be. Make a bucket list, that’s what I did and next year I’m taking part in an expedition to Antarctica just because of that. People may think it crazy and odd that it goes against the norm but I’m willing to bet anything that there is at least one guy at my workplace who sits with his friends in the canteen and looks at me eating whatever I managed to scrap together for lunch thinking “I wish I had his freedom”
Success is all relative, do what you want and not what society expects, only then will you truly be successful.