Turning 30

[lonely_aryan]

I just turned 30 this year & its a awful feeling. I just keep remembering the time when I was 18 & it scares me. I just wanna go back to 18 which is not possible. I know this may be a stupid topic but just wanted to share with you guys so that the scariness diminishes a little.

 

[perfanoff]

Aren't you 10 years too young to have a mid-life crisis?

 

[lonely_aryan]

Aren't you 10 years too young to have a mid-life crisis?

May be but these feelings are occurring atm.

 

[perfanoff]

Just joking, sorry if it was not appropriate! I actually am concerned about not going to be where I would like to be when I am 30, too.

 

[theraab]

Why do you say it feels awful? I'm 34 and I feel much more secure and stable than I ever did at 18. Sure I haven't done many of the things I wanted to do by 30 - but then again, looking back, many of those things just aren't that important any more.

 

[lonely_aryan]

Why do you say it feels awful? I'm 34 and I feel much more secure and stable than I ever did at 18. Sure I haven't done many of the things I wanted to do by 30 - but then again, looking back, many of those things just aren't that important any more.

Actually when I was 18/19 I had many friends & a carefree life. No worries about job. Now I feel insecure coz I dont have a job. I feels like time is running out. All my friends are married & settled. Its only me who's stuck. I still want to do things which I used to do like playing cricket on the streets. Hang around with my friends but there is none to contact coz most of them have gone abroad for jobs & the only one which is left is not willing.

I guess I never moved on mentally. I am still stuck on 18.

 

[theraab]

That is a problem. Do I take it that you don't want to get married and settle down just yet? Or ever?

 

[lonely_aryan]

That is a problem. Do I take it that you don't want to get married and settle down just yet? Or ever?

No I want to get married but I cant coz I dont have a job.

 

[Veilside05]

go get a job?

 

[lonely_aryan]

go get a job?

There's a problem with that as well. Due to health related issues I cant work full time in an office. I feel restless & fatigue within some hours of presence in the office. I am on psychotic medicines.
Part time jobs are no good where I live. The only way out of this is to setup a business of my own. But that will require capital which I am trying to arrange.

 

[theraab]

Yeah, that is kind of a spot you're in. I see you're in India - if it is any consolation, there is an entire generation (20s to early 30s) over here in America that is going through something similar.

Is it possible for you to go overseas to get work like your friends did? Maybe some of your friends have connections to help you get a job somewhere else?

 

[Gutted]

I look at my Mum & Brother and expect to be where they are at their age. It's a nice way of preparing for things. Or being pleasantly surprised if you're better off when you reach the age they were.

 

[lonely_aryan]

Yeah, that is kind of a spot you're in. I see you're in India - if it is any consolation, there is an entire generation (20s to early 30s) over here in America that is going through something similar.

Is it possible for you to go overseas to get work like your friends did? Maybe some of your friends have connections to help you get a job somewhere else?

I got a job here but left it coz doing 12 hrs shifts seemed impossible. The only option for me is a small business.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I’m 32. I have a job but not a career. I have a house but not a home and an existence but not a life. Like you I went through a huge mid-life crisis last year, I know I started questioning my beliefs, my purpose and my (lack of) direction in life. I’d spend hours awake in my worn out single bed, looking up at the ceiling and wondering just what the hell I was doing with my life and how folks younger than me had it all sorted out. I even developed an intense hatred for this guy at work, he was 26 years old, married to a wife who made him the most amazing looking sandwiches, had an enormous home and was rapidly climbing the corporate ladder. As I sat alone in the canteen eating whatever I had managed to scrap together for lunch I’d look at this guy, sat surrounded by friends in his smart shirt and tie while eating those amazing looking sandwiches. Each time it felt like fate was laughing in my face at failing in life.

Then something changed. I asked himself if I really wanted that life. I don’t want to be an office drone all my life so the corporate future isn’t something I really desire, all his friends were dicks so I didn’t need those, being a minimalist I really don’t desire a big home and while he had a wife I had years of travel and experience under my belt. Ok so I wanted the sandwiches but that was about it.

The trick is learning to realise that life is what you make it. I know that’s been passed around for a millennia but I realised instead of trying to mimic the perceived success of others I should focus on doing what I consider successful instead no matter how obscure it may be. Make a bucket list, that’s what I did and next year I’m taking part in an expedition to Antarctica just because of that. People may think it crazy and odd that it goes against the norm but I’m willing to bet anything that there is at least one guy at my workplace who sits with his friends in the canteen and looks at me eating whatever I managed to scrap together for lunch thinking “I wish I had his freedom”

Success is all relative, do what you want and not what society expects, only then will you truly be successful.

 

[lonely_aryan]

@Lost Drifter

Thanks for sharing.