Very Serious Problems

[neo651]

Shortest possible backstory:
I'm in love with a girl. Let's call her Emily. Last month she married my best friend. They live on the opposite side of the country.

I've been having a really tough time since the wedding. The other day I was driving home from work and I thought:

I'm gonna get home pretty early. I should make Emily a nice dinner. She's been swamped with work and never has time to cook.

A moment later I snapped out of it and was very frightened. I had just invented and fallen into a completely imaginary world where she and I lived together.

Then a few days later a texted a friend of mine that lives on the other side of the country:

"Do you and your b/f wanna see a movie w/ me and emily tonight?"

She texted me back:
"Umm...And how's that going to work when you live 3000 miles away from either Emily or me?"


what's happening to me??

 

[Limlim]

fantasizing too much maybe, sounds like you need to unwind some. Once at work I went "Un!" when I got mad. For those who use xat they'll get the reference. That was when I knew I needed a break from it.

Anyway try doing something out of your regular routine. Go on a vacation or a road trip. Visit people who don't know her. honeysuckle like that.

 

[allanh]

if Emily is married, you need to forget about her otherwise it's a no-win situation for you .

 

[VanillaCreme]

i agree with Lim and Allanh. You should relax. And then realize that she is married, and not to you, and if you value the friendships, you should let it go. It's unfortunate, but if you don't let go, they'll eventually break contact with you. Letting it go too far won't work in your favor.

 

[nerdygirl]

In May, I suggested that you take some time to yourself. Sincerely, openly, objectively, and honestly think about the bad things that could have happened if you and Emily had hooked up. She did not love you, and she did not want to be with you. There's a reason for that, and it isn't that anything is "wrong" with you. When people are in love, they tend to imagine everything in an ideal world. In love with somebody unattainable, people never have to face reality. It sounds as though you've clung so tightly to that fictional ideal world that you're losing touch with the real one.