Want to keep it Platonic

[August Campbell]

As a Buddhist who practices Non-attachment, I do not chase ladies. So this relationship happened unexpectedly. I've been meeting her twice a week, and it's always enjoyable. Because she's very congenial and is always laughing. And that always makes my day. It's enough for me to be in the company of a lady who's congenial.
The only problem is her attire. During the first two meetings, she dressed quite modestly. Then all of a sudden she began regularly wearing full-body leotards which are much too provocative for me, especially when we go bowling at the bowling alley. And other men ogle at her. This leaves me in quandary because I don't know whether she's doing it to be purposely provocative or if she does it just because the leotards feel comfortable. After all, leotards are certainly comfortable.
The problem is that her attire is too provocative and distracting to me. You would have to see her to know what I mean. I don't want to say anything more along those lines because I don't want to sound crass. Yet I'm apprehensive to ask her to dress modestly because I'm afraid she might take it the wrong way.
Because to tell you the truth, her congeniality and her laugh is all I want. Her laugh is so melodious. Her congeniality is all I need to satisfy me, really. The only drawback is her attire. So how do I handle this quandary without offending her? Any ideas would be appreciated.

 

[U-122]

She's just loose and attention seeker. I think it's empowering and liberating for them or something. Tell her to tone it down. Or enjoy her company while it lasts. I don't think platonic friendship is possible. Especially with a loose female.

 

[randomguy]

Maybe you could buy her a burka as a gift.

 

[Finished]

I totally know what you mean. Those stretchy tight workout things are really hard not to look at. They are definitely provocative. I see women in those things on the hiking trails all the time. It's like they are almost naked. I can see all their curves and crevices. And, yes I do look at them. The only thing I cant see is their hair and skin markings down there. It's hard to say if she is doing that for your attention. I would side that she probably is. Women are usually very aware of how they dress. I would be tempted to point out a women, when I was with her, dressed the way you like and just say I really like how she is dressed. She looks very nice, professional, lady like, or whatever. That way you aren't directly pointing out that you don't like what she is wearing.

 

[Pineytrees]

She's just extremely loose and attention seeker. I think it's empowering and liberating for them or something. Tell her to tone it down. Or enjoy her company while it lasts. I don't think platonic friendship is possible. Especially with a loose female.

Because she wears tights she’s loose?

 

[Colster]

As a Buddhist who practices Non-attachment, I do not chase ladies. So this relationship happened unexpectedly. I've been meeting her twice a week, and it's always enjoyable. Because she's very congenial and is always laughing. And that always makes my day. It's enough for me to be in the company of a lady who's congenial.
The only problem is her attire. During the first two meetings, she dressed quite modestly. Then all of a sudden she began regularly wearing full-body leotards which are much too provocative for me, especially when we go bowling at the bowling alley. And other men ogle at her. This leaves me in quandary because I don't know whether she's doing it to be purposely provocative or if she does it just because the leotards feel comfortable. After all, leotards are certainly comfortable.
The problem is that her attire is too provocative and distracting to me. You would have to see her to know what I mean. I don't want to say anything more along those lines because I don't want to sound crass. Yet I'm apprehensive to ask her to dress modestly because I'm afraid she might take it the wrong way.
Because to tell you the truth, her congeniality and her laugh is all I want. Her laugh is so melodious. Her congeniality is all I need to satisfy me, really. The only drawback is her attire. So how do I handle this quandary without offending her? Any ideas would be appreciated.

Honesty, be polite, but tell her that the clothes distract you. And no, don't tell her change. Instead, see if she is willing of her own accord.

 

[TheRealCallie]

She's just extremely loose and attention seeker. I think it's empowering and liberating for them or something. Tell her to tone it down. Or enjoy her company while it lasts. I don't think platonic friendship is possible. Especially with a loose female.

Wow, it must be so nice to know the motives of a woman you know nothing about. Bitter and judgy, much? lol

 

[U-122]

Because she wears tights she’s loose?

Yes i have loose neighbors who wear very tight tights. Very extremely loose females.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes i have loose neighbors who wear very tight tights. Very extremely loose females.

I know several men who are ******* cheaters and don't deserve any women....well, I guess you are all like that.

 

[U-122]

Wow, it must be so nice to know the motives of a woman you know nothing about. Bitter and judgy, much? lol

lol .. not bitter, not judgy. just know from personal experience.

 

[U-122]

I know several men who are ******* cheaters and don't deserve any women....well, I guess you are all like that.

All that implies that i get (many) women and have options to cheat. I wish. But i don't get any women at all. They don't give me time of day. I have nothing to do with women. I stay away from them most of my life. I can't be any of those things. None of that applies to me. i don't mind if you generalize. If it's your personal experience or you know from others then it is what it is.

 

[TheRealCallie]

All that implies that i get (many) women and have options to cheat. I wish. But i don't get any women at all. They don't give me time of day. I have nothing to do with women. I stay away from them most of my life. I can't be any of those things. None of that applies to me. i don't mind if you generalize. If it's your personal experience or you know from others then it is what it is.

No sorry, if you knowing a few woman and assume and judge them and every other woman based on that, that clearly means that me knowing guys like that gives me the right to assume and judge them and all other men based on that.

 

[U-122]

No sorry, if you knowing a few woman and assume and judge them and every other woman based on that, that clearly means that me knowing guys like that gives me the right to assume and judge them and all other men based on that.

A few? i know one near me who does it, who tried and failed with me once, i have others farther away from me who do the same but not with or to me. I used to have loose neighbors who did exactly that. real whores. more than a few. many. so what am i supposed to think? i can generalize. so can you. i don't say you're wrong. but to call me bitter and judgy.... i'm neither. i speak from personal experience. this female who gives me problems now when we first started talking changed from normal loose outfit to tight see through. i knew to keep distance from the mentally ill whore. that's what probably triggered her hate for me. if i had a gf or wife i wouldn't want her to wear tights out in public.

 

[TheRealCallie]

As for the original question. Maybe she does do it on purpose or maybe she doesn't. What does she do? Does she like yoga or dance or workout a lot? That could be a reason she wears them. Maybe she wants to attract attention. Maybe she just likes that they are comfortable. No one except her knows the reason.
But, her distracting you is a your problem, not hers. I would simply say you noticed she wears them a lot and ask her if she dances or does yoga. Segway into a conversation, if nothing else.

 

[randomguy]

No sorry, if you knowing a few woman and assume and judge them and every other woman based on that, that clearly means that me knowing guys like that gives me the right to assume and judge them and all other men based on that.

It's a slippery slope , there you are trying to get your fix of congeniality and melodic laughter and they start distracting you with their boobs and butts ffs! next thing you know they'll want to think their own thoughts and have needs and desires where's it bloody well end that's what I want to know.

 

[TheRealCallie]

A few? i know one near me who does it, who tried and failed with me once, i have others farther away from me who do the same but not with or to me. I used to have loose neighbors who did exactly that. real whores. more than a few. many. so what am i supposed to think? i can generalize. so can you. i don't say you're wrong. but to call me bitter and judgy.... i'm neither. i speak from personal experience. this female who gives me problems now when we first started talking changed from normal loose outfit to tight see through. i knew to keep distance from the mentally ill whore. that's what probably triggered her hate for me. if i had a gf or wife i wouldn't want her to wear tights out in public.

Miss my point much? I was being sarcastic. And coming from a guy who has previously claimed not to assume and judge, you sure do a lot of that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's a slippery slope , there you are trying to get your fix of congeniality and melodic laughter and they start distracting you with their boobs and butts ffs! next thing you know they'll want to think their own thoughts and have needs and desires where's it bloody well end that's what I want to know.

Easy, we take over the world.

 

[randomguy]

Easy, we take over the world.

Hahahah with your frying pan & club you're halfway there

 

[TheRealCallie]

Hahahah with your frying pan & club you're halfway there

I also have a crowbar

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yikes, I will say this, my boyfriend banned me from going to the gym in certain clothing because it made him feel uncomfortable.... It made me sad at first that he thought something that went to my ankles was too revealing, I just couldn't understand what he was on about. However, out of respect I know not to wear certain things, it is a hard conversation.