Wasting time and energy

[anthonyS13]

I feel that ever since I started wanting a girlfriend, I've been wasting huge amounts of my time and energy meeting girls that are just dead ends. I'm at home and online pretty much all day every day until late at night (because who really wants to spend time with me?) looking for a companion.

No one in real life would ever take the time to take an interest in me or even want to get to know me, so I just go online and look on multiple dating sites and try to show potential dates all of my good qualities. Even that doesn't work because I am always overlooked. I don't know what it is that makes me ignored. I'm very nice and friendly. Am I unattractive?

Right now, I want something I've never had: true love. I have waited so long and spent so much time looking for it. I've told myself that there will be someone out there for me but right now I'm lying to myself.
I meet someone who has so much in common with me and is very beautiful and nice (almost perfect!), only to find out she lives far far away. I'm so lonely where I live and can't move for a long time, because I'm afraid to be all alone and away from my nuclear family, and because I don't think I'll be able to sustain myself. I'm just scared.

The thing that those dead-end girls will say is "you'll find someone" but I know it'll never happen. I'm sick of hearing that from girls I want to have relationships with and want to finally have a chance to spend time with someone. I usually try to be optimistic, but now I've lost faith and have fallen into deep depression...

 

[nerdygirl]

If you use okcupid, PM me your profile. I'll tell you if I can find any flaws in it. Sometimes, people are just no good at marketing themselves.

 

[anthonyS13]

If you use okcupid, PM me your profile. I'll tell you if I can find any flaws in it. Sometimes, people are just no good at marketing themselves.

I don't use it

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, online or in person, it's possible to find someone. Don't ever think you're not worth it or that no one will want you, because trust me, there's always someone who would love you. As far as spending most of your time online and not having a relationship, my relationship started out online. I met my dude gaming online, and now I live with him. I never thought it would ever happen to me either, but it did. So don't ever think it can't happen.

 

[tusk]

Hey there anthony, I can see myself so much in what you wrote. I've been doing online dating way too much, it's almost like an obsession at times. Looking around, messaging any girl that I find at least a bit interesting. I've been thinking about giving it up, as it might work as a blocker for actually "getting out there". I think online dating should be a complement to meeting girls IRL, but I've yet to implement that in any larger way.

One tip for profiles: as far as I know, girls tend to read the text more closely. When all I had in my profile were pictures, I actually got some flirts and messages. When I wrote a presentation, it stagnated very quickly. After that, I changed my profile into a lighter text mostly containing a list of "likes", and that has worked really well for me. Girls contact me, and they tend to answer when I contact them first. Even when I send something like "Hi there... " Maybe you can try that?

 

[Fitz]

I watched The Wedding Singer last night, and one scene just summed it up for me. "All I really want, is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright."

 

[dannyr22]

OP don't feel too down about dating sites, they have been about as usefull as having no brain, for me personally. I gave up on them.

I hope you have better luck in the future anyway