What am I doing wrong?

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm very friendly and caring, anytime people message me on here they seem interested and than after 1 reply they stop replying. I'm not overly needy I just want a friend right now..

My ex bf emotional abused me, told me I was no good, even suggested I get a younger girl who is 15 to have sex with us. I was molested when I was younger, not trying to get people to pity me but I want friends... People around my area sucks and if I have a few I can message on here I'll be happy. Maybe I'm weird cause I believe in ghosts, maybe it's how I dress but that's who I am. I've been loving neon colors ever since the 80s, I don't try to fit in. I love skulls and fairies... maybe I'm asking for too much... maybe my punky hair scares them away. Why am I so hated?? Is there any hope for me... I'm crying so much right now. My ex bf is coming back to get his things from me and I'm scared he'll try to win me back. I'll say no of course but he gets demanding when were alone.... please someone talk to me... please...

 

[Klemon]

Try me maybe? I'm only new here (only just made my "Hi everyone" post last night) and looking for a friend or two myself. I think you and me are two very different people from what I read, but hey, why should that be a problem, right? I'm not sure if I'm any good at offering advice or anything, but I will do my best to listen

Has your ex picked his stuff up yet? How did it go?

 

[theraab]

Stay strong - you've been through a lot so I know you have the strength.
Also, lots of people believe in ghosts, and I, for one, think it about time to bring back the neontastic 80's look (okay, maybe not, but it seemed so rad back then).
If you need to talk, or just rant, I'd be willing to listen too.

 

[The Pariah]

How you dress or look shouldn't impact anybodies opinion of you on these boards. IRL I'm a 6'8 overweight guy who's growing out his hair before he loses it, with a woefully inept beard that he keeps pushing forward with because he wants one so bady. I have a glare that makes most people uncomfortable and I rarely smile or appear approachable to strangers. On here, I'm just The Pariah.

Don't feel bad about believing in ghosts. One of the things I have found on the Internet, especially on boards with a majority younger userbase, is Atheism is the in thing right now and anything relating to spirituality/life after death or any form of belief is viewed as the domain of the "backwards republican evil people". (To any Atheists, I have no problem with Atheism or those that follow it, I do have a problem with being treated like I'm somehow underclass by the more millitant types for choosing to believe there is more to the world and universe than science can currently explain.)

Went off topic there, ahem, maybe the problem is you're trying to fill the boyfriend void without realising it, hence why you bring up your looks and style as a point of why people may not want to talk? I dunno, pure speculation on my part, I'm probably totally wrong.

If you feel like a chat by all means send me a message. I'm not the best conversationalist and I may take a while to reply as I check here maybe once a day, but I'd say we're all on here to fill a void of some kind in our lives and everyone could do with a friend now and then, even if it's just online.

 

[perfanoff]

I'm very friendly and caring, anytime people message me on here they seem interested and than after 1 reply they stop replying. I'm not overly needy I just want a friend right now..

My ex bf emotional abused me, told me I was no good, even suggested I get a younger girl who is 15 to have sex with us. I was molested when I was younger, not trying to get people to pity me but I want friends... People around my area sucks and if I have a few I can message on here I'll be happy. Maybe I'm weird cause I believe in ghosts, maybe it's how I dress but that's who I am. I've been loving neon colors ever since the 80s, I don't try to fit in. I love skulls and fairies... maybe I'm asking for too much... maybe my punky hair scares them away. Why am I so hated?? Is there any hope for me... I'm crying so much right now. My ex bf is coming back to get his things from me and I'm scared he'll try to win me back. I'll say no of course but he gets demanding when were alone.... please someone talk to me... please...

But seriously be strong for yourself and assertive when he comes. If you're up to talking about anything, I can certainly try to convince you in pragmatism and in the fact that there are no ghosts

 

[Bob Arctor]

I've had the same experience when trying to get to know new members here. The desire to reciprocate just doesn't seem to be there. I'm usually up for chatting though (the rooms have been dismally quiet lately).

 

[kamya]

I've had the same experience here in pms. I did end up meeting one or two people that I can talk to a bit but that's about it. 90% of the people end up disappearing and leaving the site after a week or two but I expect that with this kind of site.

You could try the chatroom. I didn't have much luck finding people that I connect with in there but the people in there were generally pretty nice and welcoming. I just suck at chatrooms I guess.

 

[Trent]

there's a million guys out there that would like a chance with you

you've just got to look in the right places and at the right people

i'm guessing your problem is not WHO you are,

but where you are

seems like an environmental issue to me

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Thank for for your replies. It means a lot to me, I handed him back his things and now my stomach is aching, man I feel like I wanna throw up.

As for how I dress, no it's who I am. I've been like this my whole life, I love the way I dress. If a guy expects me to change for him, it's not worth it. I can't wear revealing clothes, my image I feel most comfortable in. I love anime and I love the Japanese style, I even cosplay, I love artistic clothing, vintage clothing, gypsy skirts, anything that shows my personality. For the longest time I tried dressing differently but I did it for a guy. He wanted me to dress sexy, like a model and it felt wrong. The whole time I was akward and I felt his eyes admiring my body, he told me I belonged to him. If I ever put make up on or looked nicely I was blamed for cheating on him and I never did. He got me to believe my family hated me, inside I felt disgusted... he begged me to make love to him and if I didn't he would make me feel guilty. I cried myself to sleep so many nights and threw up from so much anxiety. He ignored me for days but if I called him he told me I was needy... he destroyed me.... and now I'm getting therapy. I really hope I never see him again. And I hope I don't get judged on here cause it wasn't my fault... he abused me... he controlled me...

 

[theraab]

No one is going to judge you on here. He's the *******. I wish you all the best Wallflower, you certainly deserve it.

 

[perfanoff]

Good riddance, flower.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Thank you.

And yes I agree with you.