What am I supposed to do?

[aspeckofdust]

Last year, I met a girl that I thought was perfect for me. We have great conversations, many similar interests, similar ways of thinking and feeling, everything that I could want in a person. Things between us were going well. Needless to say, I fell hard for her eventually (rather quickly too) and I told her how I felt. To make a long story short, she's never 100% reflected those feelings back and she got a boyfriend eventually.

It doesn't end there though, because I was fine with those things. I wanted to continue being friends, because she did and still does mean a lot to me, and she agreed, even going as far to tell me how I'm special to her. I've tried my best to support her, through good times and bad, on pretty much every subject, including her boyfriend. From there, we continued to be close to one another, perhaps even growing closer.

Recently though, I feel like she's distancing herself from me. I know she has a boyfriend, so I can understand that he should come first. A lot of time though, I don't think it's that, because even our conversations sometimes feel different. I don't know if it's me with the problem or her, but I have this awful feeling in my gut that the end of our friendship is near and I don't know what to about it.

I've tried telling her how I feel about the entire situation, but that doesn't really ever go anywhere. I'm very afraid of losing her though, because I've never known anyone like her. I'm hopelessly in love with her and even if I try to move on from the friendship entirely, she'll never be gone from my mind and I'll never be able to replace her or our friendship.

A common idea seems to be that if you meet someone new, you soon forget about the other person, but I know that won't work with her. The things that have occurred between us, the things that we have between us, to me, those can never be replaced because of one thing: her. I might find someone else tomorrow, but it won't be her.

I've locked myself in my room and I've been crying as I've typed this. I don't know what to do about this entire situation. I don't care about her having a boyfriend, because what I want the most from her isn't romance. I want friendship. I want the perfect friendship we had for basically all of last year. I think that even if you're in a romantic relationship with someone, you should be friends with them too, because if you can't be friends, it won't be a good relationship.

At this point, if she told me she's becoming a lesbian, thus killing off any and chance of me ever being with her romantically, I'd be fine with that, because it wouldn't change the person that I've gotten to know so well and have come to care about so much. Whatever she goes through, I want to be there for her and I want to help her in any way I can. She's even told me that she appreciates me being there for her. Yet, lately, she seems to not want that or me so much anymore.

I don't have a lot of friends and among the friends I have now and the ones I've had in the past, NONE of them have ever come close to the way she can make me feel. The way merely talking with her can make me feel. I'm addicted to her and even if I lose her, I'm certain that I'll never forget about her. Even when I'm old and in some nursing home, unless I've got Alzheimer's, I'm going to wonder about her. I'm going to wonder about what she's doing and I'm going to hope that no matter where she is, that she's doing well.

I'm sure I sound very pathetic and hopeless. I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry that this message has turned out to be so long. I guess I'm just hoping for some advice. I feel so drained emotionally right now though. I feel so alone and confused and I don't know what to do or where to go.

 

[jjam]

deleted

 

[alexandra]

Hey, I read your whole story and after reading it I felt that you must leave girl as she is not interested in you more. See, according to me all girls are same, I mean, they too don't know what things they wanted in guys. I had also suffered from the same situation but thanks to my friends and family, as they advise me not to waste time after her and directed me the right path.

 

[fuzzybutt]

Hey buddy, I'm currently in a similar situation. Also from your profile you're just 2 years older than me so maybe you may consider my view on the subject.

The girl I know is single however she has lost faith in relationships but with Valentines coming around I know guys will try their luck and the thought of that worries me to no end.

And yes I have never gotten this close to a girl in my life this is why I see her as something very important to me.

I believe though that these strong feelings we feel torwards these women is a direct result of our loneliness. If we want to pull through this we can either build a strong mentally and try to move on without any help OR surround yourself with other girls.

She can be a best friend to you and just like you probably wouldn't fall in love with your best male friend, the same could apply here.

What do you think?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Sounds like to me, that you still want to be with her as something more. I can only sense that from what you type. I understand just being friends with someone, but since you've had deeper feelings than that for her, things are a bit different. Even though we may not want things to be any different, they always tend to be. Things are going to run their natural course. If it turns out that you two are not as close as you once were, talk to her about it.

But looking at it from a female's point of view, she may just be backing off for various obvious reasons. For example, she may think that you want to be with her. Or perhaps it's her boyfriend telling her that he's not comfortable with her being so close to another male. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but people are like that. And as sad as it is, she's more likely to stand on his side.

 

[Anten]

If she has a boyfriend now just back off and let her come back to you as a friend. Like vanillacreme said it could be a jealous boyfriend and it will take some time fro her to get back to talking to her guy friends.