Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
heretostay
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- Joined
- Nov 30, 2008
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same thing im always thinking when im on here: I should really go to bed.
ChessGuy42
Well-known member
I'm thinking...
I really want to teach Discrete Math in the fall.
I'm pretty sure I blew it at my job interview yesterday.
What time do I have to leave by to get home such that I can avoid bumping into my housemates and get my check book while the bank is still open?
I really want to teach Discrete Math in the fall.
I'm pretty sure I blew it at my job interview yesterday.
What time do I have to leave by to get home such that I can avoid bumping into my housemates and get my check book while the bank is still open?
That the couple of days I've been back here, I really miss my friend and I should have said goodbye. Now, he's gone (along with most of the regs I talked to) and I'm really lonely.
I hope I lose enough weight to get into the army.
And, my marriage really isn't getting any better (so, why can't I make enough money to get out?).
I hope I lose enough weight to get into the army.
And, my marriage really isn't getting any better (so, why can't I make enough money to get out?).
E
evanescencefan91
Guest
mmm oh internet what a sweet 3 hours it has been
although sometimes i do worry that my eyes will turn into a bunch of zeros and one's and the internet takes possion of mind
lol
in a little bit i'm getting off to try and beat the final boss of RE5
so from one electronic moniter to the next ah life sweet circle of life
*beep*
i mean bye
although sometimes i do worry that my eyes will turn into a bunch of zeros and one's and the internet takes possion of mind
lol
in a little bit i'm getting off to try and beat the final boss of RE5
so from one electronic moniter to the next ah life sweet circle of life
*beep*
i mean bye
Haven
Well-known member
Why am I on the internet when I could be saving orphans from a burning building.Hmmm.
V
vertigo
Guest
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Why the fresia can't I just move on with my fuckin life?!
Lonesome Crow
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2008
- Messages
- 6,780
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- 8
Lmao...Heaven
Becuase orphens, adandent, negelcted and abused children grow up to be adults,
still carries the mental, emotional and physical scars. They might look oki doki
on the outside...Some actaully are over achivers and millionairs.lol
Some are totally still messed up. And they surf the freaken net trying to find answers.
I remember the day my mother left me.
She sent me to school and told me to be a good little boy.
When I arrived home after school she was gone.
I went everywhere looking for her..hoping it wasn't true.
I remember wanting to sent myself on fire and die. I was only 6 years old.
My anuty was taking care of me at the time.
I remember after that day , I used to get in trouble or didn't cared if I got in trouble.
All I wanted was my mother back...nothing..nothing anyone said or do could make me
feel better..I wanted my mother.
I remember oneday I was playing in a cannal full of mud and rat infested water.
I didn't give a fresia. I remember I aunty negociating with me to get out of the mud.
"NO"...I defied her. It was just mud. If she cared and loved me enough..she can come get me.
Well....fresia. She didn't. She sent my older cousin to retrieved me.
I fucken kick, screamed and cried all the way home as my cousin carried me on his shoulder.
For weeks my aunty tried to comfort me...I pushed her away.
Don't touch me...don't fucken touch me..Leave me alone.
She used to rock me in her arms as if i was her child...but didn't want to her to touch me
or fix me...I was't good enough.
I remember going to my grandmother's funeral with my aunty.
I saw my dad...but he was too messed up. So my aunty didn't let me go with him.
I wanted my dad too....but i wasn't good enough.
I remeber oneday standing at the edge of a river bank. I didn't know how to
swiming...I fucken fell in. The current of the river started sweeping me away.
My aunty went into panic mode and had to jump in after my ass.
Why do I write this ??? Facing my fears...calling a spade for a spade.
It's not about blame or even feeling sorry for myself.
It's trying to understand myself better. Getting honest with myself.
My decision making process, my behvior patterns or the so call subconsiouse sabatage.
It's a apart of the letting go process or getting well.
ABANDONTMENT ISSUES. It plays a role in my co-dependency.
It plays a role in my poor self esteem, self worth, or turst issues.
It also plays a role of that sometimes , I demand too much out of my partners.
I had problems developing relationships or love from a very young age.
It effected how I inneracted with all the women I've had relationships in my adulthood.
Every women I've had gotten involved with...had to ask me out.
If you love me...you better come get me.
At the sametime after i get involved in a relationship..after a fight or an argument.
Don't fucken touch me...I don't want to have sex with you.
Don't you hold me, touch me, or kiss me to fix me. I will push you away.
When my EX-GF left me for fucken dead...it retriggered a lot of familar pains and abandoment I felt as a child.
It felt like I was living a daul relaity..the current abandonment and that of my childhood.
I know I had to porcess it and work throught it to get WELL.
For a while...a part of me just wanted to go fresia honeysuckle up.
Becuase orphens, adandent, negelcted and abused children grow up to be adults,
still carries the mental, emotional and physical scars. They might look oki doki
on the outside...Some actaully are over achivers and millionairs.lol
Some are totally still messed up. And they surf the freaken net trying to find answers.
I remember the day my mother left me.
She sent me to school and told me to be a good little boy.
When I arrived home after school she was gone.
I went everywhere looking for her..hoping it wasn't true.
I remember wanting to sent myself on fire and die. I was only 6 years old.
My anuty was taking care of me at the time.
I remember after that day , I used to get in trouble or didn't cared if I got in trouble.
All I wanted was my mother back...nothing..nothing anyone said or do could make me
feel better..I wanted my mother.
I remember oneday I was playing in a cannal full of mud and rat infested water.
I didn't give a fresia. I remember I aunty negociating with me to get out of the mud.
"NO"...I defied her. It was just mud. If she cared and loved me enough..she can come get me.
Well....fresia. She didn't. She sent my older cousin to retrieved me.
I fucken kick, screamed and cried all the way home as my cousin carried me on his shoulder.
For weeks my aunty tried to comfort me...I pushed her away.
Don't touch me...don't fucken touch me..Leave me alone.
She used to rock me in her arms as if i was her child...but didn't want to her to touch me
or fix me...I was't good enough.
I remember going to my grandmother's funeral with my aunty.
I saw my dad...but he was too messed up. So my aunty didn't let me go with him.
I wanted my dad too....but i wasn't good enough.
I remeber oneday standing at the edge of a river bank. I didn't know how to
swiming...I fucken fell in. The current of the river started sweeping me away.
My aunty went into panic mode and had to jump in after my ass.
Why do I write this ??? Facing my fears...calling a spade for a spade.
It's not about blame or even feeling sorry for myself.
It's trying to understand myself better. Getting honest with myself.
My decision making process, my behvior patterns or the so call subconsiouse sabatage.
It's a apart of the letting go process or getting well.
ABANDONTMENT ISSUES. It plays a role in my co-dependency.
It plays a role in my poor self esteem, self worth, or turst issues.
It also plays a role of that sometimes , I demand too much out of my partners.
I had problems developing relationships or love from a very young age.
It effected how I inneracted with all the women I've had relationships in my adulthood.
Every women I've had gotten involved with...had to ask me out.
If you love me...you better come get me.
At the sametime after i get involved in a relationship..after a fight or an argument.
Don't fucken touch me...I don't want to have sex with you.
Don't you hold me, touch me, or kiss me to fix me. I will push you away.
When my EX-GF left me for fucken dead...it retriggered a lot of familar pains and abandoment I felt as a child.
It felt like I was living a daul relaity..the current abandonment and that of my childhood.
I know I had to porcess it and work throught it to get WELL.
For a while...a part of me just wanted to go fresia honeysuckle up.
The Depressed Shmoo
Active member
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm thinking if all the people who feel they don't fit in with society died (because they decided to kill themselves because they don't fit in) then this world would be a shithole full of plastic fake wankers and all the animals and plants would be really pissed off.
E
evanescencefan91
Guest
hmm i hope you are right shmoo
Van Hooligan X
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- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Messages
- 1,406
- Reaction score
- 0
11 days left
S
ScorpioIris
Guest
Ask and you will receive.
DayvanCowboy
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2009
- Messages
- 913
- Reaction score
- 2
*sigh* A lot of people in Hamilton had some high hopes for an NHL team to come here, but I said it once and I will say it again. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
B
Bluey
Guest
ScorpioIris said:
[img=500x500]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/232/473987459_719a430311_o.jpg[/img]
Ask and you will receive.
Oh my. lol Your honest Am thinking why dose my back always hurt all the feeking time just lately.
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