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I'm thinking about a woman.

I'm considering going outside, but that would mean I am likely to meet other members of the human race, whom I have no patience for today.

Where is the postman? They have got later and later every year.
 
I feel as if I should be outside all the time. I can't help to think so. Cooped up most of the year inside these walls, it's like a voluntary prison sentence at times. I just take a look out of the window, see the clear blue skies, the budding trees and hear the birdsong, and I just get this overpowering urge to just go out there and be outside. Same thing every spring and summer.
 
You know you have a problem when you're suspicious of a few basil leaves and don't want to put them on your food "just in case".
This is exactly what I did yesterday - I was worried and couldn't decide if I wanted them on my food or not because I wasn't sure about the calories. I realised this was pretty stupid when I asked a friend what she thought and she looked at me like I was crazy, so I threw the leaves on anyway, all the while looking at the plate with suspicion and not feeling at all too happy about adding anything to the plate.

I hate the inevitability of getting older. I want to go back in time and be 15 years old again but I can't do that.

I'm torn between 2 ideals:
- looking womanly and having boobs OR
- staying flat chested, small, skinny and fragile.

I hardly feel like going out but I can't stand being in the house.
I don't want to eat but I don't want to starve myself.
I don't want to be a child again but I don't want to get older.
I like to be left alone but I'm scared of being alone forever.
I'm scared of life but I'm scared of death.
I don't want help but I don't want to feel this way forever.
I want to eat until I feel full but I don't want to feel like purging afterwards.
I want a relationship but I don't want people getting too close.
 
i have the worst luck when it comes to this. what i wouldnt give to meet someone i connect with in real life.
 
Bread said:
I feel as if I should be outside all the time. I can't help to think so. Cooped up most of the year inside these walls, it's like a voluntary prison sentence at times. I just take a look out of the window, see the clear blue skies, the budding trees and hear the birdsong, and I just get this overpowering urge to just go out there and be outside. Same thing every spring and summer.

THIS^ Sometimes I can just go outside and stand in my backyard staring at the sky or the birds or the trees for hours. I find the most delightful thing is the wind blowing through my hair. I love going to the lake on a windy day, it's so refreshing.

I was thinking that, and I'm so happy I found this place! ^.^
 
Being outside on a bright and beautiful day does me a **** load of good! It is like an instant misery killer or something. I need to consider more things I'd be interested in doing outdoors.
 
*hugs edgecrusher*

alonely life when no one understands you but don't give up because the music do
-korn twisted transitor

\m/0_0\m/

ok well I finished my philosphy paper hope i edited it well enough

finished 3 other projects so I finished 4 of my projects awesome

except now I have to my bio goegraphy paper which means, seriously 4 pagers on an excel sheet with over a thousand entrys that I don't have a clue as to what they mean becuase the professor can't explain it worth s***

I hate that class so hard :(

then i get to study yay,

and job hunt since I probably won't get very many hours at the bookstore over the summer sad :(

I filled out 3 applications online the other night

but I've come to learn that employers hate me, f*cking bastards

but i did find a place to live for the summer and next year signed up for classes
classes i wanted were taken or not offered then lame

classes i need to take only one at 9am in the ******* morning it sucks

buttt...... somehow i manged to have no classes on friday next year

awesome right

ya totally :D

I hope I can make it through

hope my gm can as well

:(

my grandmother had a heart attack friday night, she's in the ic and doing a little better, went up to visit her yesterday,

they can't place a stent via surgery because of a platelette problem so they're going to try some medication therapy, which aslo has risks as well I assume she'll go in for regular check ups but I hope she pulls through

:(
 
*hugs* for you and your grandmother, evfan



I've been up for 2 hours and I simply can NOT wake up. It's gonna be a long ass day.

10 more days.............
 
thanks callie :)

ten more days till what?

I know the feeling of not being able to wake up


*groans * i would do nearly anything to get out of having to do this stupid biogeography project
 
I've always sucked at it, but I just want to write a few love songs right now.
 
evanescencefan91 said:
thanks callie :)

ten more days till what?

I know the feeling of not being able to wake up


*groans * i would do nearly anything to get out of having to do this stupid biogeography project

Til I turn 30 :(
 

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