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I put a lot of importance and weight on his opinion of me.

Thus treating him like he's superior to me, like his opinion has more importance or weight than my own opinion of myself.

His opinion of me is that I'm not valuable, I'm not important, I'm not desirable, I'm not wanted, that I'm inferior.

I'm acting inferior just by putting his opinions as superior to my own.

It's important for me to remember that my OWN opinion of myself IS THE MOST important opinion.

It's clear that I have no value in his eyes or mind or heart. He sees me as disposable. His opinion of me shouldn't have any meaning to me.

If he doesn't value my opinion, I should stop seeing any value in his opinion. If he sees me as inferior then I should see him as inferior to me. Since he's the one who's inferior, his opinions of me shouldn't matter.

I had him on a high pedestal, always valued his opinion, always complimented him, always stroked his ego, looked up to him, admired him, gave him all my devotion and love and respect and what has he given me? To him, I'm not equal, I'm inferior and it doesn't matter how innocent he looks or how innocent he acts, the way he sees me is damaging. I should never be with someone who doesn't value my opinion, who doesn't find my opinion necessary or that I can only give opinions on little things (like picking a flower and it's only after I complained to him about him not asking for my opinion) but leave the big important decisions (like deciding what house to pick to live where) to him considering this is a ******* relationship. I don't need a piece of honeysuckle guy who doesn't value my thoughts, doesn't put any importance in anything I say, doesn't value my feelings, doesn't value me as they value themselves or their mother or other people. To him, I'm inferior, I'm less than his friends, I'm less than his parents, I'm not necessary to him, he's just with me because he's pathetic and no girl who respects herself would be with him but obviously I'm a dumbass with low sense of self-worth and I truly believe I can't do better, I can't have anything better because nobody really exists that is better. I can't imagine anything better existing. He's really the best I can ******* get. How ******* silly. He's pathetic. No girl loves him, his mother is the only fool who loves him and when that ***** dies, he's going to be ******* alone. I'm disposable to him anyway, I doubt anyone will love him even if he does dispose of me. He's already almost 33 or so and I'm young, I can try to enjoy life, I don't need his ugly aging ass to be happy. He thinks he's so accomplished but what has he accomplished? Even graduating top honors in a rich university and having ultra important projects in an ultra important career, it's not really an accomplishment when at the end of the day, nobody cares about his stupid work. He's just as pathetic as the rest of us. He's not superior to me, he's not superior to anyone. He's a ******* piece of honeysuckle just like the next person.

Also I hate it when he gets angry at me and when he gets angry, he's completely silent like a silent killer, it's ******* unnerving. I want to ******* slap him in the face, he gives me silence for ******* anything I say. Anyway, I'm just goddamn complaining.
 
Are you talking about me? I'm in a bad mood, it's complicated, I have to vent and clear my thoughts. I won't deal with this bullshit forever, I just have to clear my thoughts.

In other news, sister is bragging about her boyfriend who is giving her a surprise day tomorrow, he's gonna take her on a ship and some spa retreat and she's bitching about it but she's actually just bragging. It's nice that her boyfriend takes the time to give her a surprise day, take her to a ship and a spa. She also bought a sexy bikini and a sexy dress, she's just full of sexy clothes, she feels so great about herself, she just vomits and sweats confidence. Eh. I'm in a nasty mood today.
 
Aww, hope you will feel better / more positive soon, echo.

I can't wait for my day at work to be over. It just gets depressing at times.
 
I just woke up from a dream in which my 95 year old grandma, who died a year and a half ago, was still alive. We were sitting at the kitchen table, talking.

I hate that I felt like crying after I woke up, and realized I couldn't do that anymore.
 
I don't give a **** what he thinks anymore. I'm done. If his life were half as nightmarish as mine has been, maybe he would shut the hell up.
 
Well, at least ONE **** album was right. Plus... like I'm supposed to know what that means. It's not on a rec-exec's desk. Come on now... I should just stick with putting his anime on here.
 
Wish she would just grow up - seriously. Meh.

LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I just woke up from a dream in which my 95 year old grandma, who died a year and a half ago, was still alive. We were sitting at the kitchen table, talking.

I hate that I felt like crying after I woke up, and realized I couldn't do that anymore.

*hugs*
 
I guess I've got no reception? I let that sit to update almost the entire time I was getting Ranma, and nothing.
 
Now that I've seen them side by side, it's not even just their looks that are similar... It's the way they move and how they wrestle. If Gunn wasn't a foot taller, I'd be suggesting some DNA testing.
 
Why do they make so many women's clothes that are impossible to wear because no matter what underwear you put on you can still see it. It's so frustrating. I have dresses I just never wear. Dresses I love. urgh.
 
annik said:
Why do they make so many women's clothes that are impossible to wear because no matter what underwear you put on you can still see it. It's so frustrating. I have dresses I just never wear. Dresses I love. urgh.

No underwear? :p
 

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