What are you thinking right now?

[TheSkaFish]

What percentage of the human population have you met in your lifetime? It's just crazy to think that you could have possibly exhausted the supply of potential matches.

Admittedly, only a very small fraction. However, I've met enough and seen enough to know that the kind of woman I would like to connect with the most, who would enhance my life the most, is exceedingly rare. It's not often that someone will have even one thing I like about them, let alone most of the things I desire. Most people don't really strike me, they seem very nondescript. That's not necessarily wrong, and I know it's my fault for being picky but I wouldn't ever really be satisfied with a typical person. If I dated a typical person, I'd feel like I gave up, I'd never feel like I arrived. I'd always wonder what that would feel like. Rather than inspire me to go for what I want, it would rather make me feel like quitting because it would prove that I'm the kind of person who only gets "just okay" anyway and that I can't break away from that story because I'm just not good enough.

Though as you probably know if you want a girl that has everything you want then you probably need to be able to match them somewhat.

Yes, I see this now. That was always my problem. The girls were always where I wanted to be, not where I actually was. I only wanted to be like them. I wasn't there yet. And if I had focused on my interests instead of on a lot of negative timewasters, I might have had a richer identity by the time I met them.

 

[Lacrecia]

I'm thinking that I'm such mess.

 

[Paraiyar]

Yes, I see this now. That was always my problem. The girls were always where I wanted to be, not where I actually was. I only wanted to be like them. I wasn't there yet. And if I had focused on my interests instead of on a lot of negative timewasters, I might have had a richer identity by the time I met them.

I may be off base here but it sounds to me like you might be over-analyzing the past to the point where it's choking you and holding you back from making the most of your life now. I don't know if an extremely rich identity is needed per se, I think it's more important to be putting yourself in a position where you're meeting lots of people and getting more comfortable with socializing. I generally feel less shy around others than I used to but I need to get a job again and move out of home. I also want to use meetup groups a lot more. Have you used those much?

Also, have you traveled on your own in other parts of the world before? I did this recently in Europe and it has helped a bit in teaching me to be more forthcoming with meeting new people.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I may be off base here but it sounds to me like you might be over-analyzing the past to the point where it's choking you and holding you back from making the most of your life now. I don't know if an extremely rich identity is needed per se, I think it's more important to be putting yourself in a position where you're meeting lots of people and getting more comfortable with socializing. I generally feel less shy around others than I used to but I need to get a job again and move out of home. I also want to use meetup groups a lot more. Have you used those much?

I don't know. I guess will work on myself in the hopes of getting a second chance.

I mean, I admit, my identity/personality was pretty shabby. It didn't have a lot of substance to it. I had a lot of room to improve. I hadn't done the work or asked myself the hard questions to really know myself. I don't think I'd want to date a female version of myself, and most of the time I don't even think I'm an interesting person though I think that I could be.

But meetup groups won't do much good I'm afraid. Like I said, the kind of person I like is very rare and I can't imagine anyone topping the ones I met. Anyone else just wouldn't interest me at all. I've looked on OKCupid and POF many, many times, and I have not once found someone that I've actually felt any pull towards. I've never found anyone I'd actually want to get to know for its own sake. I wouldn't want to do the work necessary to get to know them, and entertaining them would feel like a job. I guess all I can do is work on myself and wait.

Again, thank you for trying to be helpful but I don't think there's anything that can be done right now.

 

[Paraiyar]

Maybe you should just look at Meetup groups for shared interests and see what comes of it. At the very least you'd probably end up building a new social circle. I'll stop giving advice now but I do think that this last piece would be worth it anyway.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Maybe you should just look at Meetup groups for shared interests and see what comes of it. At the very least you'd probably end up building a new social circle. I'll stop giving advice now but I do think that this last piece would be worth it anyway.

Well, my social circle is actually pretty decent already. It's just a girlfriend that I don't have.

The big impediment is money, which is caused by my lack of a career, which prevents me from aggressively pursuing hobbies and converting them into passions. This was caused by me never knowing what I wanted to be or taking enough time to ask myself the hard questions, who am I, what do I want from life, and so on and so forth.

Anyway I'm sorry if I seem like I'm just blowing your advice off. I think you seem like a well-meaning person, but I haven't been feeling too happy lately. Hopefully my feeling will pass soon. But thank you for trying at least.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I am so sick of being around people who act like they can't do for themselves. If you're that lazy that you don't want to get up, stand and prepare your own meal, then you must not want it that bad. I told you I wasn't cooking in that filth, nor was I cleaning up any of that honeysuckle. And guess what? I didn't. Because I'm not on this earth to babysit nobody. When I give birth, then I'll cater. But until then, do it your goddamn self.

 

[ardour]

So I got up the gumption and asked a co-worker (working in a different building) I’d been on friendly terms with for a year to lunch.

We’d had quite a few conversations already. During lunch she finally mentions her boyfriend. Sigh.

 

[Paraiyar]

So I got up the gumption and asked a co-worker (working in a different building) I’d been on friendly terms with for a year, to lunch.

We’d had quite a few conversations already. During lunch she finally mentions her boyfriend. Sigh.

You should still be pleased with yourself for asking and that she was happy to have lunch with you. I've seen you say that you feel that women look at you as a creep well clearly this one doesn't.

Plus, she might have a single friend you'll really like. You never know

 

[lonelyfairy]

These hundreds of spam mail is getting into my nerves, gonna need to make a new email. I don't ever put that email to any weird sites either since it's my personal/''more'' serious email.

 

[Aisha]

Does it really count as drawing if you're copying from an image? It's just unoriginal I suppose. Well, I have to start somewhere. It's been years since I touched a pencil or a pen with the intention of drawing anything.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Is there anyone out there that can email correctly? Ugh, come on, I really need this.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I am very boring :O

'course not. How does one ever get bored of the Tsar?

 

[Hopetracer]

Does it really count as drawing if you're copying from an image? It's just unoriginal I suppose. Well, I have to start somewhere. It's been years since I touched a pencil or a pen with the intention of drawing anything.

It's drawing indeed. Back in school, when I was younger we started from copying an image. We need to practice how to copy first, so that we can draw from our abstract mental images later. Since I haven't drawn any portraits for years, I should start from copying to be able to draw at least a half decent eye without looking at any eye.

I'm glad for the start, I know from your posts on this thread that you've been intending for some time.

 

[Aisha]

Does it really count as drawing if you're copying from an image? It's just unoriginal I suppose. Well, I have to start somewhere. It's been years since I touched a pencil or a pen with the intention of drawing anything.

It's drawing indeed. Back in school, when I was younger we started from copying an image. We need to practice how to copy first, so that we can draw from our abstract mental images later. Since I haven't drawn any portraits for years, I should start from copying to be able to draw at least a half decent eye without looking at any eye.

I'm glad for the start, I know from your posts on this thread that you've been intending for some time.

I have been intending for quite a while, yes =) I've done a couple now and it doesn't look like it should or I thought it would, but I don't think it's awful. I don't know how to shade or have any perception of depth or distance, but that'll hopefully come with practice. I guess I'll see how things progress. Maybe I'll just keep copying things forever since that's easier than creativity. Or just more convenient than not being lazy.

 

[MisunderstoodVacancy]

These hundreds of spam mail is getting into my nerves, gonna need to make a new email. I don't ever put that email to any weird sites either since it's my personal/''more'' serious email.

Yeah I actually made a new email for the same reasons after someone apparently hacked my email account and sent an exceedingly sketchy link to all of my contacts. My new email is much cleaner and I haven't gotten any spam yet and I'm using the old one less and less now.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

Why does everyone treat me like this? I'm not going to claim I'm a good person. But I haven't done anything to bother these people, yet they seem disturbed by my very existence. Everyone's response to me is either disgust or mocking, or they simply ignore me. What is the point in living like such an outcast? I don't want to die. But sometimes I feel like saying fresia society and just leaving, giving up. But how the hell would I even do that? I'd still need to eat and survive, and I have no money of my own to do that. I can't live like this any longer though, that much is clear. But there's also no acceptable way out.

 

[BadGuy]

two hrs of sleep in the last two days isnt enough

 

[Peaches]

I am sad... and can't sleep s*&t

 

[SofiasMami]

two hrs of sleep in the last two days isnt enough

I thought you did a sleep study a few weeks ago, BadGuy? Did you get the results from that?

-Teresa