C
cheaptrickfan
Guest
Got up, realized I was out of coffee beans, so I stumbled down to the store with sleep-fogged eyes and a pillow-lined face and bought coffee beans.
Came back, made coffee, drank coffee and looked at the stack of bills and panicked, did a mental version of curling up into the fetal position & sucking my thumb.
Came to, and paid some bills. Realized that "things in my life" are not good. freaked out a bit over that.
Got overwhelmed by sadness, and went to the cemetery where I sat by my son's grave, listening to the wind in the two tall pines by his gravesite, and heard the sound of a pair of mourning doves. I thought, "How appropriate that this cemetery has mourning doves."
Also, I am positive I heard a Whippoorwill there, and I haven't heard one of those since I was a kid. That's all the more eerie considering the myth I heard growing up that Whippoorwills knew when a soul was leaving a person's body. Then too, there was a freshly-dig grave there today awaiting a burial.
And I cried. Cried some more, talked to my son's... ghost? Grave? Disembodied spirit? Myself? Whatever, I was That Crazy Lady in the cemetery talking to thin air. I am her often.
Drove around, freaked out when I saw that the Check Engine light was doing funky things, started to panic, got the kids from school, panicked some more when I realized the stench of burning rubber was growing stronger, called the garage, left a dozen messages with their dad, took Kid #1 to her violin lesson, came home and marveled that the Check Engine light had turned off.
Did some dishes, made some pizza dough, drank about 6 Diet Cokes, started to shake.
I am pretty sure that I will cry again before I go to bed.
Came back, made coffee, drank coffee and looked at the stack of bills and panicked, did a mental version of curling up into the fetal position & sucking my thumb.
Came to, and paid some bills. Realized that "things in my life" are not good. freaked out a bit over that.
Got overwhelmed by sadness, and went to the cemetery where I sat by my son's grave, listening to the wind in the two tall pines by his gravesite, and heard the sound of a pair of mourning doves. I thought, "How appropriate that this cemetery has mourning doves."
Also, I am positive I heard a Whippoorwill there, and I haven't heard one of those since I was a kid. That's all the more eerie considering the myth I heard growing up that Whippoorwills knew when a soul was leaving a person's body. Then too, there was a freshly-dig grave there today awaiting a burial.
And I cried. Cried some more, talked to my son's... ghost? Grave? Disembodied spirit? Myself? Whatever, I was That Crazy Lady in the cemetery talking to thin air. I am her often.
Drove around, freaked out when I saw that the Check Engine light was doing funky things, started to panic, got the kids from school, panicked some more when I realized the stench of burning rubber was growing stronger, called the garage, left a dozen messages with their dad, took Kid #1 to her violin lesson, came home and marveled that the Check Engine light had turned off.
Did some dishes, made some pizza dough, drank about 6 Diet Cokes, started to shake.
I am pretty sure that I will cry again before I go to bed.
