What do you want to know about getting girls ?

[Just Games]

[quote pid='907594' dateline='1566117103']

Yes the scenario that your in for the long haul so to keep the fire going as it were thanks.

So first of all you should still improve yourself day by day even when it is just a little bit. Keep doing sports, eat healthy, follow your passion and improve your career. A man following his path and his dreams creates incredible attraction.
Many men let themselves go when the find a girlfriend and that is why so many relationships end up in divorce or cheating, because the attraction dies.

But care for your girlfriend as well. Treat her like a queen and spend quality time with her because for women it is quality over quantity. Go on adventures together and introduce her to your hobbys so you can maybe do them together (my GF for example loves to play video games now), but even when she doesn't like your hobbys still be proud of them, because that is who you are. Of course you can chill with her but don't let the things you do get boring.

The same rules work on the sexual parts. Try out new things at new places. Make romantic plans (like the bath you mentioned) but also be spontaneous sometimes.

When the girl is in love with you she will test you unconsciously because from a evolutionary standpoint she has to make sure that you can take care of her. Be prepared for her getting cold for no reason. She will look for more space (she takes longer to reply to your messages, she makes other plans, etc) but the underline question here is "are you dependent on me ?". Give her space and she will come back. Other tests are jealousy and so on. Just do your thing, show that you know that you are the best man for her and she will come back even more attracted.

Great stuff thanks.

How about the scenario that you've moved further into the relationship with  your ideal women and she starts having babies planned or unplanned , what tips do you have on keeping the relationship fresh and romantic if this was your future for yourself and your partner whether married or not?

If finances get tough with the expense of families should you encourage your partner to develop her own career and give her full support even if it means yours takes a back seat.?Or alternatively should you go all out to develop your own to keep the attraction alive?, this has often bothered me as to which was the best route to keep a loving concrete relationship alive.

Is it important to have a good relationship with her parents , paticularly respect for her father would this result in your lady loving you more?Or should you take on the dominant roll even if her father was a massive giuding influence in her life.
[/quote]

Hi Xploe.Just wondered about the above.You're in a relationship with your ideal lady and you really love her but your coming up against an extrovert  father  that initially doesn't approve of his dauhters choice in partner and the fact that you're still introverted and get frustrated with not being able to find a solution plus its causing arguments.How would you handle that?

 

[ardour]

OP is just re-enforcing the tired narrative that men need to be stoic and assertive while doing everything. Older single men know themselves enough to know that they simply can't be like this.

 

[Just Games]

Also your ideal women has agreed its time to move in together.She wants to live/her father also wants her to live five minutes down the road from the parental home.Thus your travel time trebles in order to keep your own job.Do you compromise?

 

[user 139760]

Also your ideal women has agreed its time to move in together.She wants to live/her father also wants her to live five minutes down the road from the parental home.Thus your travel time trebles in order to keep your own job.Do you compromise?

..what kind of a choice is that? Is she so easily manipulated or intimidated that her overbearing father gets to enter a relationship with me as well? And cost extra money for no other sensible reason than "they decided"?

Hmm. Wonder if I can get a refund at the store to buy a new one.

 

[harper]

Also your ideal women has agreed its time to move in together.She wants to live/her father also wants her to live five minutes down the road from the parental home.Thus your travel time trebles in order to keep your own job.Do you compromise?

..what kind of a choice is that? Is she so easily manipulated or intimidated that her overbearing father gets to enter a relationship with me as well? And cost extra money for no other sensible reason than "they decided"?

Hmm. Wonder if I can get a refund at the store to buy a new one.

It's like a symphony of inexperience, bad judgement and vulnerability.  Getting life coaching from a schoolboy:  what could possibly go wrong?

 

[Just Games]

Also your ideal women has agreed its time to move in together.She wants to live/her father also wants her to live five minutes down the road from the parental home.Thus your travel time trebles in order to keep your own job.Do you compromise?

..what kind of a choice is that? Is she so easily manipulated or intimidated that her overbearing father gets to enter a relationship with me as well? And cost extra money for no other sensible reason than "they decided"?

Hmm. Wonder if I can get a refund at the store to buy a new one.

It's like a symphony of inexperience, bad judgement and vulnerability.  Getting life coaching from a schoolboy:  what could possibly go wrong?

He might have some good ideas but we"ll never know unless we hear them.Why the half glass empty attitude with this guy and do you think he's really that dangerous?

I'd like him to answer my questions
if its ok with you of course..

 

[harper]

I'd like him to answer my questions
if its ok with you of course..

It's not. 

And there's an end to it.

 

[Just Games]

Yeah i guess no ones going to give him a chance now.Then again we've had enough warnings about how mis inforned  unexperienced he is . I'm surprised you haven't trashed anything i've said yet.What do you think of me Harper?

Anyway lets not end it on a negative note.I'm hoping he gets some opportunities to impart some of his experience on this or any other thread .

 

[harper]

You seem fine to me. I don't like him because he has no interest in depression or loneliness, and no regard for those experiencing it. He's just testing the water, looking for a way to make a buck, based on what he thinks adults with real problems want and/or need.

I don't care if you carry on with him-- your opinions carry as much weight here as mine do. Sorry if this seems to be an attack. I was just messing with you. If it helps (you) I'll stay out of this thread.

 

[Siku]

@Just Games, absolutely agreed!

There's entirely way too much layered resentment and an overwhelming projection bias in this thread. Two wrongs don't make a right. This thread will continue on this path of everyone saying the same thing, over and over and over again as everyone feels their views and opinions carry more weight than the others and they are just trying really hard to get people to see what they see.

The guy can't even be given a chance if people are deterred away by all this elbow-bumping. Xploe, I suggest starting a new thread and people can debate on what he is or isn't here, instead. Please? I say, give the guy a chance at least.

We've now kept away his target audience as well as I'm sure most who would have asked him things don't want any part of this conflict either.

You are open minded and seem to understand both sides of what is happening here.

As I am willing to listen and grow I would love to hear what you have to say. What is your opinion on guiding a person out of depression, teaching them how to deal with anxieties, find hapiness and partner that supports you and makes you even more happy.

Thank you for that, I appreciate it.

There's different forms of depression and anxieties and everyone's "essence/core" of what makes them "happy" is different as well. We're all very much individuals.

Personally, it's very complicated and it differs from person to person. In my opinion, someone should be evaluated, understood to the best of your abilities (no one's perfect or a mind-reader), and given advice that caters to their personality. Rather than, general confidence. You have to sit down and listen to a person and get their take and views on life and sometimes that is hard because not everyone is willing to shed themselves enough to be seen enough to even get 'working' advice.

Sure, confidence is all that is needed for some but I just tend to look more deeper than that and would like to help in general rather than just the aspect of dating. I suppose that's where we differ maybe.

 

[xploe]

OP is just re-enforcing the tired narrative that men need to be stoic and assertive while doing everything. Older single men know themselves enough to know that  they simply can't be like this.

I already said that you don't need to be stoic, but the question here is. How should a man in your opinion be in order to find a woman who treats him with respect ?

 

[xploe]

@Just Games, absolutely agreed!

There's entirely way too much layered resentment and an overwhelming projection bias in this thread. Two wrongs don't make a right. This thread will continue on this path of everyone saying the same thing, over and over and over again as everyone feels their views and opinions carry more weight than the others and they are just trying really hard to get people to see what they see.

The guy can't even be given a chance if people are deterred away by all this elbow-bumping. Xploe, I suggest starting a new thread and people can debate on what he is or isn't here, instead. Please? I say, give the guy a chance at least.

We've now kept away his target audience as well as I'm sure most who would have asked him things don't want any part of this conflict either.

You are open minded and seem to understand both sides of what is happening here.

As I am willing to listen and grow I would love to hear what you have to say. What is your opinion on guiding a person out of depression, teaching them how to deal with anxieties, find hapiness and partner that supports you and makes you even more happy.

Thank you for that, I appreciate it.

There's different forms of depression and anxieties and everyone's "essence/core" of what makes them "happy" is different as well. We're all very much individuals.

Personally, it's very complicated and it differs from person to person. In my opinion, someone should be evaluated, understood to the best of your abilities (no one's perfect or a mind-reader), and given advice that caters to their personality. Rather than, general confidence. You have to sit down and listen to a person and get their take and views on life and sometimes that is hard because not everyone is willing to shed themselves enough to be seen enough to even get 'working' advice.

Sure, confidence is all that is needed for some but I just tend to look more deeper than that and would like to help in general rather than just the aspect of dating. I suppose that's where we differ maybe.

Thank you very much for that answer.

I absolutely agree that it differs from person to person. This thread was actually meant to see what questions there are and not to solve everyones problem quickly. I just started to give some "brain storm" advice because I always want to help as much as possible, which lead to a lot of problems. So starting a new thread is a great idea.

And we don't differ. I understand that a healthy relationship is build on honesty. That is why the first step is to learn how to love yourself, so you don't have to bottle up your feelings and "act" confident to attract women. If you just want to get laid, sure... everyone can fake that for one night, but you can't pretend to be someone else for the rest of your life.

 

[harper]

I absolutely agree that it differs from person to person. This thread was actually meant to see what questions there are and not to solve everyones problem quickly. I just started to give some "brain storm" advice because I always want to help as much as possible, which lead to a lot of problems. So starting a new thread is a great idea.

You can't simply start a thread to say, "Hi, I'm xploe.  I'm kind of lonely."   Or post to an existing thread to say, "Yeah, I feel like that too, sometimes" or join a word game in progress?  

How socially inept do you have to be to set up a clueless amateur therapy session for strangers with problems you don't understand and who want things to which you can't relate?  

I urge you to forget about "helping" for a while and simply socialize a bit.  You might be surprised how much better off you could be for the experience.

 

[TheSkaFish]

What do I want to know about getting girls?

How to get a girl interested in me / think I'm fun without being a tough guy or without teasing her, without being sarcastic, cynical, disdainful, without acting cool and cocky, without "swag" and "game", and without being lewd and crude / sexual innuendo.  By being an honest person instead of playing mind/power games and other manipulation tactics.

Basically how to be attractive to women without being dominant, cause I can't be it, but also cause I find those people obnoxious and I feel like they are wrong about life.