TheSolitaryMan
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- Feb 25, 2011
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Just a quick question for discussion: when you're "single", how does that impact your conduct when it comes to interactions with people you feel attracted to?
I understand it varies from person to person, but I'm just curious on what everyone else sees being "single" as.
I've personally always felt like I want to wait for the right person to be my girlfriend. Someone I really trust, feel lots of affection for and love talking to.
Thus although I'm "single", I've never really felt free to just go out with people I find superficially attractive, or pursue a number of friendships for the goal of picking that special person out. Instead I tend to get really good friends with one person and start to develop a more romantic affection for them.
Some I speak to take a totally different approach. To them, "single" is exactly that. They'll happily kiss people they've only just met but find attractive, or "enjoy themselves" in other ways.
In many ways I do envy that freedom. It must be pleasant to feel so liberated and just do whatever you want like that, living in the moment. But if I were to act like that, I'd feel guilty for discarding my ideals.
I'm in the position at present in which there is someone I feel attracted to purely physically in my life, and I know for sure it's mutual. With this person there's a totally palpable sexual tension whenever we spend time together, but at the same time we wouldn't work in a relationship because our values are very different.
So that's really brought the contrast of my values and my "singleness" into perspective. Not that I want to change them, it's just made me realise that I view my approach to relationships differently to many others, which is perhaps why I feel somewhat alone sometimes.
So how about you guys? Is "single" a personal state of mind as much as a relationship status?
I understand it varies from person to person, but I'm just curious on what everyone else sees being "single" as.
I've personally always felt like I want to wait for the right person to be my girlfriend. Someone I really trust, feel lots of affection for and love talking to.
Thus although I'm "single", I've never really felt free to just go out with people I find superficially attractive, or pursue a number of friendships for the goal of picking that special person out. Instead I tend to get really good friends with one person and start to develop a more romantic affection for them.
Some I speak to take a totally different approach. To them, "single" is exactly that. They'll happily kiss people they've only just met but find attractive, or "enjoy themselves" in other ways.
In many ways I do envy that freedom. It must be pleasant to feel so liberated and just do whatever you want like that, living in the moment. But if I were to act like that, I'd feel guilty for discarding my ideals.
I'm in the position at present in which there is someone I feel attracted to purely physically in my life, and I know for sure it's mutual. With this person there's a totally palpable sexual tension whenever we spend time together, but at the same time we wouldn't work in a relationship because our values are very different.
So that's really brought the contrast of my values and my "singleness" into perspective. Not that I want to change them, it's just made me realise that I view my approach to relationships differently to many others, which is perhaps why I feel somewhat alone sometimes.
So how about you guys? Is "single" a personal state of mind as much as a relationship status?