What exactly are you lonely FOR?

[DysphoricMuse]

I think this has been the hardest part for me is trying to figure out what exactly I am lonely for....or maybe I'm just bored and lacking stimulation? I know I'm lacking stimulation, my existence AT THE MOMENT is pretty pointless, in that I am not contributing to myself or the society I live in by doing anything productive, I don't have anything to strive or work for right now....But I am making an effort.


This probably sounds incredibly lame....but you know on myspace and facebook people have albums titled "me with friends" and there's all these pics of them out with their friends at clubs, dinner, around town, lounging around the house? I wanna be one of those people too....I want people to WANT to be around me, but not have them be fair weather friends, REAL friends...and not a whole army, but I'd be in heaven if I had at least 6 really good friends, and what do they all have in common? They're all HAPPY and smiling and getting out and doing things in the world. I guess I could understand if I was socially awkward or creepy, and I'm not shy per se, I mean I won't just walk up to a stranger on the street but if one walks up to me I can hold a conversation like any normal person......I wish I was okay with not having friends; I feel like only teenagers and small children should lament over not having friends, like I should be okay with it being me, myself and I....yet here I am...I'm a bit resentful of it all.

 

[Ridin Solo]

I'm right there with you... all I want is a small group of friends that I could think of as brothers. In highschool I had friends but they had that "everyone looks out for himself/survival of the fittest/what can you do for me?" mentality. It's bullshit. I too am pretty social when someone initiates conversation. I get so disgusted when I see guys with the personality of a pile of rocks talking about the parties they attend. It makes no ******* sense how some people have invested so little and get so much in return.

But I'd give anything... ANYTHING... for a meaningful relationship. Nothing in this life matters to me anymore until I have one, tbh.

 

[h i]

im shy. i dont like to do things alone. i dont want friends though. i want a relationship. someone i can have sex with, share finances, and do things with. i dont want to waste my time doing one of those things if im not going to do them all. i could get a room mate or live with family, and share finances and do things with, but no sex. i cant get a friend with benefit, but if i could... i could do things with them, but they wouldnt be there for me financially. if i had a relationship i could be more selective, and quit wasting time responding and desiring acceptance from people i wont know next year...

 

[Twitchy]

Beats the honeysuckle out of me. I just get lonely.

This concludes my detailed analysis.

 

[Splenda-Kills]

I tend to be a tool (Yes, in both ways. A-huh.)
The people I have around me are people who are glad I exist so they can utilize my abilities. Nothin' wrong with that.
I would just appreciate at least one or two people who are glad I exist so they could have the chance to meet me.

 

[Remedy]

I'm the same, I too wish to be one of those people that gets out with friends all the time. Like people on my facebook have all these pictures of gatherings with people spending the holidays with one another.While I usually spend them mostly alone while my friends or acquaintances are out having a good time

For me personally though I'm more lonely because of the fact that I have never had a relationship. For the reason that I want to experience love and spend my life with that special someone. I long for someone you can care for and whom cares for you in return. I would give anything to have a loving relationship but nobody seems to think that I'm relationship material probably because I come across as being weird because I'm so shy.

 

[DysphoricMuse]

I'm right there with you... all I want is a small group of friends that I could think of as brothers. In highschool I had friends but they had that "everyone looks out for himself/survival of the fittest/what can you do for me?" mentality. It's bullshit. I too am pretty social when someone initiates conversation. I get so disgusted when I see guys with the personality of a pile of rocks talking about the parties they attend. It makes no ******* sense how some people have invested so little and get so much in return.

But I'd give anything... ANYTHING... for a meaningful relationship. Nothing in this life matters to me anymore until I have one, tbh.

Same here, I thought I would be friends with those people forever....Now I don't talk to any of them. I thought I would make friends in college, but I'm 22 and havent made any...it just sucks...

 

[Infexis]

I tend to be a tool (Yes, in both ways. A-huh.)
The people I have around me are people who are glad I exist so they can utilize my abilities. Nothin' wrong with that.
I would just appreciate at least one or two people who are glad I exist so they could have the chance to meet me.

I think I know one of em'. o^o

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

don't know. somekind of unrealised, unimagined, intangible personal utopia where the litter box changes itself and beautiful maidens bake strawberry pierogi for me?

what twitchy said basically.

 

[Dewpup]

Your friends will be there when you go out to the club or the movies. Each birthday they will be present. They call and send you messages.

But when you really need your friends! Nobody will answer the phone.

Dont trust people m8

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I went out and party for years as a teen and a young adult.
Good times I suppose...for me it was more like I was in the twilightzone....I was way out there.
After a divorce and strings of relationships it kind of left me feeling empty.

After jenni died...I bascailly check out again.(clean and sober.) I isoltate myself and thought
life was piontless..
It bascailly brought back a lot of memories of Andrea.
Andrea died on easter sunday a week before the prom when I was in HS
I walked Andrea home on good friday. I still remember her waving to me with a big smile on her face.
Andrea was a very beautiful person inside and out.

I knew Andrea from Middle School. I was one of those guys that partied all the time
and had all kinds of people around...Probably becuase I had drugs, money and a nice truck.
Plus I played in a metal band....Mr head banger. Andrea was a sweet, nice, quite church girl.
Something happened in my Senior year in HS...All of my friends bascailly ran out on me.
after i rolled my truck. And i was dating a chick that was using me..we stopped going
out after that too...

Then Andrea just pulled me aside oneday. She used to let me play with her hands and
hair in class. I stopped getting high during lunch and started hanging out with Andrea
in the libuary. She really cared about me and loved me. For the first time in my life i felt
someone really cared and loved me for me. She always encourage me and gave so much
hope. It wasn't about the money...it wasn't about the dope, it wasn't about my truck.
I was bascailly surpprized that she wanted to have anything to do with me...She was very
pretty and could have had any guy she wanted. I felt life was going to be okay...
After Andrea's death...I bascailly started partying really hard and not really giving a fresia anymore.

I met Jenni after I broke up with my ex-gf , the first time...
Jenni was there for me through out the years.
She nevered judge me and always encourage me as Andrea did.
Jenni was a very successful professional woman.
She was very beautiful on the inside and outside.
It wasnt about the money..It wasn't about how successful I was or wasn't.
She cared and loved me for me...

After that... life just feels so fucken retarded when the two people actaully really cares and loves
me, fucken dies.That's were I was at..that's why I shut the fucken world out.
Plus I felt like a fucken wack job grieving over Jenni. For 3-4 months I couldn't get her out of my mind.
I awaken everyday with the images of her face. Sometimes I'd catch myself answering her or talking to her as if she
was still alive. I couldn't stop crying for amlost a month straight. Everyday there were tears in my eyes no matter where I went
or what I did. I found myself breaking down in public...so I stopped going out. After a while it became a habit that I stayed
home all the time. I wasn't even well enough to return to work..becuase going into my office brough back a lot of memories
of Jenni.

Well..I finally made a facebook account not too long ago. Most of my friends on FB are HS chicks that I know or knew...
Even that girl I was dating, the one that was using me is in my FB account...It's not that big of deal to me.
I'll talk or shot an e-mail to some of my freinds just to catch up on stuff everyonce in a while...but it's not a big deal.
I'm actaully kind of glad I don't have pictures of me or no one had tagged pictures of me in my partying days....that's would too much self incrimination.lol
Plus my duaghter had never saw me drunk or high. I like to keep it that way. I got clean and sober before she came into my life.
I use it mostly to communicate with my Step duaghter. No.. I don't spy on her. Sometimes I'll just chat with my daughter
for hours or sometimes she'll leave me a message if she wants to talk to me or wants me to call her on the phone.
I love my daughter very, very much.

Anyway...life is kind of wierd. My ex-wf decided to reach out to my after all these years.
She's been very supportive to me. We worked some of our differences. There's been a lot of healing we both needed.
She loves and cares for me very much as I do for her. She's given me a lot of hope.
That how I remember her. She was a very kind, caring and loving person when we were going out.
I got clean and sober a month after I last spoke to her many, many years ago.
She told me that she will always love me no matter what....but I was still drunk out of my fucken mind..so she hung up on me.
I'm not currently living with my ex-wf but since she's came back into my life there's been that feeling of peace that I felt
when I was with Andrea and Jenni....

So, I'm chosing to staying single or live alone for that moment.

 

[coricopat]

This is a good question.

I sort of agree about the Facebook picture thing. But I've been the girl in the Facebook picture and while I was smiling in the picture I felt miserable inside. I guess I want friends like that, but who wanna go to the park or do something new, rather than go get drinks at a club. The friends that you get drinks with at a club tend to be boring, shallow friends.

I don't want many. Like four would be great I think.

I also want friends who understand what it's like to have a chronic illness, or to be poor. People really don't seem to get what it's like and it's hard to have real friendships with people who don't get you.

 

[silent526]

i think there's a distinction between loneliness and knowing how to be alone. maybe the goal isn't too just make friends, but looking to find wholeness. i felt a deep emptiness within myself that i have been trying to fill and it didn't start going away until i really faced myself and learned my patterns of thought, behavior and feelings. as i healed the easier it was to connect with people and create community. but ultimately friends can't make you happy, you're own mind and your perceptions make you happy...of course environment affects our state of being. meditation helps or prayer, but one that taps into silence and being still.

your life is not pointless. it has meaning and value in itself, whether you see that and live that reality is up to you. peace.

 

[Muffin]

I just want one or two friends who are close and I can count on for times I need someone to talk with or go to the mall or go for coffee with. Someone who is reliable. I find most people very unreliable, and thats difficult for me to take. I'm a military spouse which makes it difficult since I have no family (and I mean absolutely NO one) around me and what family I do have has lost contact with me over the years. It's a very lonely, isolated life. Plus the military takes my husband away from me for months, sometimes years at a time, and we live off base (rent is TOO expensive for base housing in Canada, it's cheaper to have a mortgage!) which makes it really difficult to access any resources on base. It's depressing just thinking about it.

 

[It was Mine]

To find Love once again