What if I fail?

[M_also_lonely]

My exam results are to be declared soon. I have a fear of getting failed in exam because my exams didn't go well. The bad thing is that if I dont pass, I will not get a job. My classmates are very confident about their result. But if I fail, my parents won't forgive me. There is a lot of competition here and even those who get above average marks, do not get jobs easily. A few students are expecting 10/10 score when I am just hoping to pass. I try to study a lot, but cannot get enough marks. I am unable to focus on anything because I am afraid of my parents and the fact that I will not get a job.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If those who get even above average marks have a tough time, then those who don't get such good marks shouldn't be so hard on themselves. Seriously. It's just a test. A test doesn't make a person. Your parents will eventually get over it. A lot of the times we think we've failed something, we've really passed it. It's just that anxiety of waiting for the results. Don't bash your head in over it.

 

[mickey]

Pressure reduces performance. Having your parents, educators, society in general put huge pressure on you to do well almost certainly decreased how well you did do. It is the shortsightedness and incompetence of those who are supposed to help you succeed, in actually helping you succeed--because what they really did was hinder you--that is to blame and not you. So, if you expect people to give you a lot of crap about not doing well in school, dig out some research showing how too much pressure makes people do LESS well and have them read it. As a matter of fact have every adult in the world be required by law to read such research. ... Sorry, but this is one of those things that personally makes me angry.

The good thing is that that kind of pressure is off now. You're finished with school and nobody can bully you about doing well in school any more. So don't rush ahead and start putting pressure on yourself about getting a job. Use the time between now and when the results are announced, first to relax so you can think better, and then, once you're relaxed enough to think well, start making plans for what you're going to do after the results are announced, with a different plan for a different result. And I don't mean _worry_ about what you're going to do but _plan_. If you're actually taking some steps to make your situation better it'll make you feel better and think better and end up making you DO better.

Hope this helps.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So stop letting the pressure get to you and stop expecting things from other people. You studied as well as you could, you will do your best. You can't let other people convince you that you won't do well.
Whatever happens is going to happen, you are prepared and you will do fine. If you don't, as Nilla said, it's just a test.

 

[Tiina63]

It makes me angry too when parents heap pressure onto the shoulders of students. If academic success is so important to them, let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace to figure out what path you want to follow in life.
As Mickey says, you could start thinking up different plans for different results.

 

[PenDragon]

Nothing much will happen except your parents might yell at you (depends on situation) Or won't talk to you for few days, you won't be able to get sleep for next coming days, you will be disturbed and pissed with yourself, cursing yourself every second but...

But then you'll be realize nothing can be done about past, you'll learn from it, would take positive things from it and You'll gather yourself and will do much better next time when life throws at you something like that ever again.

It's just a test like few have already said, in fact life is itself a test, we are tested on every turn. You bleed, you curse, you lament, you regret and enduring all these you push through life everyday. That is life, coming and going of things.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Well done.
And try not to worry so much !

 

[M_also_lonely]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Well done.
And try not to worry so much !

From now I will follow this. And stop worrying. But when I get lesd marks, my parents overreact and when I get good, they say nothing. Like today, when I got result, it was like nothing for them.

 

[mslonely]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Genuis. well done, you deserve it. you're too hard on yourself and care a little too much what you're parents think, sometimes you need to care about you, do the best for you and try not to disappoint them in the process. otherwise, make them understand the pressure that comes with your studies, let them know you're doing your best and tell them that if you ever fail. it is never intentional. all the best.

 

[PenDragon]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Genuis. well done, you deserve it. you're too hard on yourself and care a little too much what you're parents think, sometimes you need to care about you, do the best for you and try not to disappoint them in the process. otherwise, make them understand the pressure that comes with your studies, let them know you're doing your best and tell them that if you ever fail. it is never intentional. all the best.

It's little hard to make one's parent understand something I think everyone will agree to that except few cases where we don't need to say much and they understand even we speak a single word but that is rarest of rare case. There is a saying I heard it somewhere...
Those who believe you don't need explanations and those who don't believe you won't believe no matter how much you explain.

And I believe parents fall under first category, they understand sooner or later but they always understand, well could be different for others but that is what I have been through.

 

[mslonely]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Genuis. well done, you deserve it. you're too hard on yourself and care a little too much what you're parents think, sometimes you need to care about you, do the best for you and try not to disappoint them in the process. otherwise, make them understand the pressure that comes with your studies, let them know you're doing your best and tell them that if you ever fail. it is never intentional. all the best.

It's little hard to make one's parent understand something I think everyone will agree to that except few cases where we don't need to say much and they understand even we speak a single word but that is rarest of rare case. There is a saying I heard it somewhere...
Those who believe you don't need explanations and those who don't believe you won't believe no matter how much you explain.

And I believe parents fall under first category, they understand sooner or later but they always understand, well could be different for others but that is what I have been through.

You're making a lot of sense. I think then, he should rather remind them so constantly that they'll get tired of hearing that it's too much. I mean, if it makes him feel better. This is coming from a person who complains or atleast used to complain a lot, really, they will get the message, and because they're so used to getting mad at him, they'll continue to do so but they will have gotten the message. This ofcourse, also depending on how hard his parents really are on him. I don't know, it's worth a try.

 

[Despicable Me]

Thanks PenDragon and mickey. Tiina63, I understand your opinion but I felt the thing , " let them go back to college and study and take exams and leave you in peace" was a bit-- not proper. Never mind, I am just getting my result and it is 8.6 / 10 points and 3rd in my class.

Well done.
And try not to worry so much !

From now I will follow this. And stop worrying. But when I get lesd marks, my parents overreact and when I get good, they say nothing. Like today, when I got result, it was like nothing for them.

I'm really sorry, M. Sometimes parents show they care in all the wrong ways.
As they say, you cannot choose your parents.

In any case, you did wonderful. I've noticed from all your topics and posts that your biggest problems are fear, anxiety, and worry. You are stressing yourself out way too much. You just need to learn to take some moments to just relax and let the worries float away. Don't let the stress build up so much.

And even if your parents do not show their appreciation, you can still show it to yourself. You've done well in the past, and now as well. This should be building your confidence and self-esteem. Don't let it go to your head, of course, and I don't think it will, but do soak it in and learn to appreciate your abilities and not diminish yourself so much, like you're so used to doing. You are smart enough and you are good enough. You will be fine, M.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Have you ever talked to your parents about what they do? How they get on you when you do bad and don't say anything when you do good...they might not realize they are doing it.

 

[lonelydoc]

If you really need good grades, best of luck to you.

But I'm telling you, they aren't everything.

I graduated top 1% of my high school class of more than 1500 people. Aced advanced placement exams, presat, sat, went on to college and medical school.

Where did it get me? Miserable, no girl, no friends, no life, bitter, cynical, and alone.

 

[Despicable Me]

If you really need good grades, best of luck to you.

But I'm telling you, they aren't everything.

I graduated top 1% of my high school class of more than 1500 people. Aced advanced placement exams, presat, sat, went on to college and medical school.

Where did it get me? Miserable, no girl, no friends, no life, bitter, cynical, and alone.

'Intelligence' in this world is not really repaid, by any means. If anything they are often the more lonely people. Forced to be outcasts in a society more focused on physical strength than thought.

I'd personally say that this is because the entire concept of "intelligence" is not real. It is instead defined by the ruling class as nothing more than being a 'capable worker', of which they can exploit and maximize.
The loneliness therefore comes from the exploitation of this group, whom do nothing other than hold certain traits that the ruling class deemed 'optimal' for productivity. And as such that loneliness 'keeps them in their place' so that they do not hope for more than their current position in society. Because it is 'thought' which is most dangerous to their rule, but also most productive to them. So it must be very uniquely controlled. So they are controlled and essentially brainwashed to deem work, and therefore money, as their ultimate goal. To do this maximizes their productivity, which is what the ruling class desires. To reject this position is to label yourself as an outcast of the outcasts. Social suicide. They make **** sure of that.
Though that makes the ruling class sound more cunning and aligned than it really is. This process has come about through nothing less than centuries of social experimentation and control.

Of course, no one asked me...

 

[lonelydoc]

If you really need good grades, best of luck to you.

But I'm telling you, they aren't everything.

I graduated top 1% of my high school class of more than 1500 people. Aced advanced placement exams, presat, sat, went on to college and medical school.

Where did it get me? Miserable, no girl, no friends, no life, bitter, cynical, and alone.

'Intelligence' in this world is not really repaid, by any means. If anything they are often the more lonely people. Forced to be outcasts in a society more focused on physical strength than thought.

I'd personally say that this is because the entire concept of "intelligence" is not real. It is instead defined by the ruling class as nothing more than being a 'capable worker', of which they can exploit and maximize.
The loneliness therefore comes from the exploitation of this group, whom do nothing other than hold certain traits that the ruling class deemed 'optimal' for productivity. And as such that loneliness 'keeps them in their place' so that they do not hope for more than their current position in society. Because it is 'thought' which is most dangerous to their rule, but also most productive to them. So it must be very uniquely controlled. So they are controlled and essentially brainwashed to deem work, and therefore money, as their ultimate goal. To do this maximizes their productivity, which is what the ruling class desires. To reject this position is to label yourself as an outcast of the outcasts. Social suicide. They make **** sure of that.
Though that makes the ruling class sound more cunning and aligned than it really is. This process has come about through nothing less than centuries of social experimentation and control.

Of course, no one asked me...

Right exactly. They basically keep us all on the treadmill. Even people with millions, work harder, to try to turn that into more money!

Money must always turn into more money...infinitely. Prices must rise...infinitely. No rest for humanity, ever.

It's insane, it's all going to collapse into a bloody mess someday.

 

[Despicable Me]

Right exactly. They basically keep us all on the treadmill. Even people with millions, work harder, to try to turn that into more money!

Money must always turn into more money...infinitely. Prices must rise...infinitely. No rest for humanity, ever.

Yep. There's no end to the system. The system itself must end first.
Everything else is just 'the rat race'.

I think Star Trek put it best: "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

It's insane, it's all going to collapse into a bloody mess someday.

And it only shows you how messed up the world really is right now when there are many people actually looking forward to that day.