What is love?

[Puddled Duck]

Its all in the title. What is love? And what does it mean to be in it?

Don’t even ask the question.

I’m not going to go into the bible because i’ve learned that’s a bit naughty on here.

But let me tell you a (true) story......

I seperated from my wife what be effectively around five years ago, we’re still married, i’ve been faithful ever since, I would if she wanted emotional support provide it, but I don’t she wants it, I went down this line for 2 years after seperation and got nowhere, I still have the wedding photos on my window ledge and still think about her everyday. Every week still look at pictures of my step kids on Facebook, but I know if I contact them, they’re just ignore me, we’re not friends. If I divorced my wife, I’d be made for life and I’m broke. Financially my wife is very secure, loaded and lives in a £250,000 house in country and her family provide support for her.

What happened is 2 years after seperation, and me running about like an idiot after my wife and getting absolutely nowhere, I changed my phone number because of the nuisance calls from my wife (she never accepted any of my calls). I went on plenty of fish in search of companionship, not sex, not a relationship and bumped into Rosie, a 50 year old woman, with cerebral palsy, in a wheelchair, limited mental capacity, a cutie but not a good looking girl. Rosie bless her cotton socks had probably before I met her been left to rot in a room alone for 20 years.

I have been with Rosie 5 years now, in a distant companionship role, but it’s never been a sexual relationship, because I’m a married man. I help Rosie with her bills and sort many things out for her, because basically she can’t read or write, I take her out occasionally to places and usually once visit her (a 200 mile round trip), the rest of the time we FaceTime (and end the conversation saying miss you and love you), but I always tell Rosie every time I see her, you know I say I love you, but I’m not sure many people will see that way and never going to expressed physically and my wife will be in the background, i’ll never leave you, but i’ll always be there to offer emotional support to wife, not that I think she’ll ever ask for it. Rosie doesn’t care, for 20 years she rotted in a room alone, she now has her ‘handsome lover’, who will sort out anything for her and at least is on FaceTime say ten times a day.

Simple question, who do I love?, my wife or Rosie?.

 

[Hazed]

 - Bible bad
 - I care a great deal about my wife
 - My wife is loaded
 - Met new woman named Rosie
 - Rosie likes cotton socks
 - Rosie is my companion for 5 years and we both enjoy it greatly
 

Simple question, who do I love?, my wife or Rosie?.

I don't have the faintest idea of what love is but i will attempt to answer your question. Discarding your two given answers, i say you love your step kids.

 

[Puddled Duck]

 - Bible bad
 - I care a great deal about my wife
 - My wife is loaded
 - Met new woman named Rosie
 - Rosie likes cotton socks
 - Rosie is my companion for 5 years and we both enjoy it greatly
 

Simple question, who do I love?, my wife or Rosie?.

I don't have the faintest idea of what love is but i will attempt to answer your question. Discarding your two given answers, i say you love your step kids.

I do, but I have to tell you now, the sex is crap!.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It is possible to love more than one person. I'd say you love both of them, but you are still IN LOVE with your wife.

 

[Hazed]

I don't have the faintest idea of what love is but i will attempt to answer your question. Discarding your two given answers, i say you love your step kids.

I do, but I have to tell you now, the sex is crap!.

This is the funniest thing i've seen in a while.

On a serious note, i can see where Callie is coming from, i just don't know personally.

 

[Puddled Duck]

It is possible to love more than one person. I'd say you love both of them, but you are still IN LOVE with your wife.

But it’s love again isn’t it, it’s that word love.

If I told my wife I was in love with Rosie now, what do you think her reaction would be.

In fact if any married man or woman went home from work tonight and said a person had just started at work and it was love at first sight, what do you think the impact on the marriage would be?.

Do I love my wife?, do I love Rosie?, do I love my step children?

You tell me?

Because I ain’t got the foggiest idea.

But I can tell you this, I can absolutely guarantee you this, without a shadow of a doubt, when I was 20 I met a girl at college called Tracey who after a year I got engaged to, she was nympho, and she best sex i’ve ever had in my life, by a mile, but she was a nympho and as nymphos do, well they go off and shag anything.

Do you see where I’m going with this.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah, you give sex way too much importance....

 

[Puddled Duck]

Yeah, you give sex way too much importance....

But i’m celibate and have been for seven years and always will be.

Don’t forget sex (not on my part) cost me a marriage, a £250,000 house in the country, 3 step children a tap into bloody £20 million pound turnover company (don’t forget I’m an accountant).

And if I give sex too much importance what am I doing in a sort of 5 years companionship with a woman confined to a wheelchair.

It’s me that gives sex the importance?, i’m not speaking on behalf of me, oh I can assure you of that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah, you give sex way too much importance....

But i’m celibate and have been for seven years and always will be.

Don’t forget sex (not on my part) cost me a marriage, a £250,000 house in the country, 3 step children a tap into bloody £20 million pound turnover company (don’t forget I’m an accountant).

And if I give sex too much importance what am I doing in a sort of 5 years companionship with a woman confined to a wheelchair.

It’s me that gives sex the importance?, i’m not speaking on behalf of me, oh I can assure you of that.

Or maybe you really love neither of them and you want your wife for her money and material things and Rosie to be her knight in shining armor. 

Money and ego.  Not saying it's true, but you certainly seem to go on about wife's money and Rosie's medical issues.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Or maybe you really love neither of them.

But it’s that word love again.

I married my wife for sex and money(material things). I didn’t love her!, I didn’t marry her because I loved her i’m not that stupid.

But this is thing, I married her!, I MARRIED HER!.

You just don’t get it!.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So you got married and it ended badly. You didn't get your rich payoff and now you're screwed.

What exactly don't I get? The marriage thing? The spouse leaving thing? The lack of money thing? What exactly do you assume I don't get?

 

[Puddled Duck]

So you got married and it ended badly. You didn't get your rich payoff and now you're screwed.

What exactly don't I get? The marriage thing? The spouse leaving thing? The lack of money thing? What exactly do you assume I don't get?

I MARRIED HER!, I MARRIED HER!, I MARRIED HER!.

IN A CHURCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

You just don’t get it!, because not only do have no possible concept of love, you have no possible concept of marriage!!!!!!!!!.

 

[TheRealCallie]

lol

 

[Puddled Duck]

lol

People fall in love and then generally get married, it’s what people do, it’s what everyone does.

Nothing wrong in that, haven’t really got a problem with that.

So do I love my wife or Rosie?

I’m confused.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you really think you are the only one here with a failed marriage?

No one can answer whether you love one, both or neither of those women, only you can.  Though, I'd say it's pretty clear you are the one who doesn't understand or know what love is. 

By your own words, you used your wife for what she has, not who she is.  As for Rosie, I can't answer that.  Seems like you only do things to get yourself ahead.  So you need to ask yourself what your wife and Rosie have that you want. Your answer to that could very well tell you what you want to know.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Do you really think you are the only one here with a failed marriage?

No one can answer whether you love one, both or neither of those women, only you can.  Though, I'd say it's pretty clear you are the one who doesn't understand or know what love is

I haven’t got a failed marriage, you can’t define a marriage, so how can you say it’s failed.

Haven’t got a clue what love is, that’s why i’m asking the question.

If It’s a personal thing well ok I love my wife, because I married her, but the sex’s crap!, do I think my wife loves me?, well I just think she married me for sex.

 

[Puddled Duck]

By your own words, you used your wife for what she has, not who she is.  As for Rosie, I can't answer that.  Seems like you only do things to get yourself ahead.  So you need to ask yourself what your wife and Rosie have that you want. Your answer to that could very well tell you what you want to know.

But I married my wife and are still married, as far who she is, well when I married her she was a fit looking MILF, with loads of money and ready made family who sort of had an insatiable sex drive. Got to look a good marriage prospect, if I should have married a minger who does charity work and has gone through the change, well i’m sorry.

What do I want from my wife and Rosie, well there’s nothing I want from them, ever since i’ve known them they’ve done nothing for me, even if I wanted something from them, they’d tell me to fcuk off!

What I saw in my wife, was only good as long as we were together, in marriage, as soon as we seperated every thing she had was meaningless, the money is meaningless, the house is meaningless, the family owned company meaningless. Not just meaningless to me, but to Fiona.

I don’t think you understand Callie.

What do think my wife is doing now?, have you thought about the impact of the marriage  ‘breakdown’ to my wife, the implications of divorce to my wife?. Forget the money.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why did your wife leave? Why are you not together? Is there any hope of getting back together?  If the answer to that last one is no, then it is a failed marriage.  Doesn't matter if you are still married or not. It seems like you are contradicting yourself a bit.  You say forget the money, yet you are the one that brings it up all the time.

I'm technically still married.  Haven't been together for 9 years and we never will be again, so it's a failed marriage.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Why did your wife leave? Why are you not together? Is there any hope of getting back together?  If the answer to that last one is no, then it is a failed marriage.  Doesn't matter if you are still married or not. It seems like you are contradicting yourself a bit.  You say forget the money, yet you are the one that brings it up all the time.

I'm technically still married.  Haven't been together for 9 years and we never will be again, so it's a failed marriage.

Callie

The marriage failed because of sex.

I have a wife.

I support her by not divorcing her and NOT going for the money.

The day I married her, I paid say half the bills on the house until seperation. Didn’t leave with a penny.

The thing is Callie.

Let’s just consider love, I have a wife, hmmm.......

The thing is with my wife, hmmmm......hmmmm.....

All the money in the world Callie....hmmmm....hmmmm ..... it ain’t no use to my wife.

It was lottery winning odds with my wife.

As soon as she kicked me out the house, hmmmm....hmmmm.

I have a wife, technically I have marriage, but I have to very, very, very careful with my wife, I have to think what’s best for her.

Whether on that basis I love her, I just see her as my wife.

 

[TheRealCallie]

A marriage cannot fail based only on sex or the lack thereof. There's more to a marriage than sex. It takes more than sex for a marriage to work. It takes more than money or material belongings or looks or whatever for a marriage to work.

You still haven't said why she left. How does not divorcing her help her? It's all well and good that you say you don't want her money, but you also said you married her for her money and her belongings and her looks. So which is it?