What's It Like Being A Parent?

[LoneKiller]

Hi Everyone. Hope that your day is going well.

At 37yo and single, there's a strong chance that I will never have children. I just wanted to know if any parents here could tell me what it feels like to be one. I understand that your children always come first, and it can be a very frustrating, and expensive raising a child.

Does being a parent change the way you look at the world in general? How is your love different for say a husband or family member as opposed to your kids? Is it a fulfilling type of feeling?

In short. How do your children and the way their life is going concern you? Stuff like that.


Godspeed.
LK

 

[Lonely in BC]

L.K.,

It's simply awesome. The Kid is the greatest gift I've ever been given. The adventure of watching her grow and discover new things in the world never ceases to fascinate me. As she gets older (she's nine right now) watching her personality mature as she experiences life is very interesting. In some ways I'm having a second childhood as I give her much of what I never had and experiences that were denied me.

Knowing that I'm responsible for her being here and that I've got a duty to guide her, nurture her, and protect her is something I take very seriously. My own childhood wasn't that great so I draw on those experiences for my daughter. Seeing how confident and happy she is, her kindness, the enthusiasm she has....these are amazing rewards for me.

Having someone that always makes you laugh, always wants to try something new, brings out the youth in you, and makes you want to be a better person is a pretty good place to be. She gives me unconditional love and nothing is better than that.

There's no negatives from my point of view.

 

[Okiedokes]

I had my son when I was 20 and I basically raised him by myself but I was able to be a stay at home mom at the time. Not only do you teach things to your child but you also learn things yourself..such as.. the obvious experience, more patience, makes you focus less on yourself and more on them. You have to be a good role model because they watch and hear everything you do.

The love is there from the beginning.. I loved him before he was even in the world. It's basically like loving a family member but it's more personal I guess.. like they are a little "you". And you want them to have everything and more than what you had as a kid. If he's having a bad day... I'm having a bad day. It just hurts when he's not happy or not feeling good. He's a piece of me.

 

[IgnoredOne]

An additonal bill between $600 to $800 a month.

 

[Walley]

i never thought much about extra expenses.. it just becomes your budget and you make it work until that is all you know. its not like you have a teen over night.
they are part of you. i dont think of it like work or challenging or expensive. just life.

 

[LoneKiller]

An additonal bill between $600 to $800 a month.

lol! You and my father would get along great. He feels the same way about the expense.

 

[Bones]

It is awesome until & during the teenage years.

The teenage years can be very painful for parents.

 

[Gutted]

It all depends on the parent and child really. Don't feel too bad about possibly not having kids. I doubt I will and I'm only 21.

 

[LoneKiller]

I would be so nervous all the time trying to raise a child correctly, without feeling like a failure as a parent. Always wondering what your kid thinks about you.

 

[Bones]

For some parents, if a child has emotional, intellectual, mental, and/or physical issues, it is hard to not feel like a failure; and the feeling of not being able to protect your child when something bad happens, is even worse.

... without feeling like a failure as a parent ...

 

[Okiedokes]

Nobodies perfect.. and there's no such thing as a perfect parent.

 

[LoneKiller]

Back when I was around 7yo, my oldest brother died in a car accident. I've never heard mom cry and scream so loud in my life!
They say parents losing a child is one of the most painful feelings a person could imagine. Parents aren't equipped to outlive their children. I could not imagine the pain that only a parent would feel.

 

[Lonely in BC]

An additonal bill between $600 to $800 a month.

Sounds like a great deal- bucks well spent

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The day my daughter was borned was one of the happiest moment in my life....
The last time i held Jordan in my arms she was only 6 months old.
Not a day had gone by that I hVNT thought of Jordan.

Kimi was given up for adoption at birth.

I raised 2 step daughters as if they were my own. They were only 2 and 3 then.
Tiffany and Kelsie ease my pains of losing Jordan and Kimi.

I also raised a step son, Christ.
Chirst's mother had 2 miss carriages more than 6 months into her pregenantcy.
Sherry was never the same after losing the twins....

All my children are in their 20's....You never stop loving your children no matter how old they are.
You dont stop loving them even if they're not biological. You dont stop loving them because they
dont live, make the same chioces , or believe/not believe as you. You dont stop loving your children even if they make big mistakes.
Unconditional love is not a clieche, something to learned or believe in...It's something some parents borned with and hAVE.
And will ALWAYS HAVE.

Jordan contacted me a couple of years...so, so many un answered questions for her.
So so many things I wish to tell her. i long to reunit with my duaghter.
I love her and I will always love her.

Keslie also reached out to me. She will always be my little girl.
Tiffany also contacted me a couple of years ago.

Kimi reached out to me...She wanted answers.
I met Kimi and held in my arms for the first time in my life last year. This too was the happiest moment in my life.
Kimi loves me very much. She needs and will always need me to be her father/daddy...no matter what.
Kimi is my little girl and she will always be my little girl...no matter how rich she is or how old she is....

Yes, I look at life differently....

 

[Trent]

kids:

eat your food,

trash your house,

and break your heart,

yet somehow you would walk into an inferno, or wrestle a pack of lions, or a face a hailstorm of bullets for them without a second thought

the only thing that has saved my life is also the only thing that i swallow my pride for...my kid

 

[Rocky66]

You can't sum the experience with a single post. Though I think Trent takes a pretty good shot at it.

The only thing I can add to what he wrote is that the day my daughter was born I learned the meaning of life:

"Oh! It's not about me! It's really NOT!"

That was more than 18 years ago and I still feel the same.