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Sarah_Lbnz
Guest
sexual thoughts... missing sex and affection with certain people from my past.
What's keeping you up at night...?
- Thread starter Breathe_No_More
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Legato
Guest
Over thinking tonight
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
Lady F is. 
Dissident
Well-known member
Everything, all at once. Bills, aging and death, political corruption, the death of dreams, the eventual end of the Earth, solar system, galaxy and universe.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
EveWasFramed said:Lady F is.
Yeah put the blame on me again
Now I need to talk to WWC ..... why isn't he the one keeping you up!
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
My mind.
PrinceOfPeace
Well-known member
constant thoughts of what if....
Scotsman
Well-known member
The fear that if I sleep I won't wake up and you'll all miss out. I stay awake for YOU!!! That or my own delusion. Or the cocaine.
kamya
Well-known member
The fact that there are people out there willing to pull honeysuckle LIKE THIS and not even feel bad about it.
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
Too many thoughts...
painter's radio
Well-known member
A little rant, feel free to skip...
My earliest memories are of nightmares. At the age of 1-2 I would dream of black and white chess games - I didn't even know what chess was at that age. Two people facing each other over a chess board, one would make a move towards the end of the match and think he had won. He would be wild with excitement, clapping and cheering, the crowd going wild. Only he'd soon realise he hadn't won, and would feel the most intense sense of embarrassment ever, which I also felt, through him.
There was another one where a big-nosed detective would walk onto the scene in a coffee-stained, scribbly animation paper. He'd see something on the ground and "the crowd" would fall deadly silent. So silent it ******* hurt. He's pick up this object and it would be a part of my body - a tooth, my tongue, whatever. The crowd would roar so loud, deafening me, a million voices all at once screaming so fiercely.
These are my earliest memories - nightmares and anxiety. Coupled with sleepwalking, night tremors/terrors, sleep paralysis... you name it. All the shitty and horrible things one can experience while asleep, these are my memories and experiences with going to bed.
I feel so pathetic and horrible and abusive and completely intolerant of anything that stresses me out in the slightest, My ex doesn't want to be with me, she's chosen to be with the other man she was sleeping with throughout our entire relationship (which she later told me wasn't a real relationship as she was simply casually dating us both) and even though we were best ******* friends, she has now blocked me from all form of communication and I hate my ******* stupid life so much.
I try to give advice to people who feel similar to me and just want to end it all but I don't take it myself, or rather I do take it but it doesn't ******* help. I have my hobbies, I have friends and people I can talk to, it just doesn't ******* matter because I feel like complete and utter honeysuckle both conscious and unconscious, there is no escape from it and my ******* idiot mind is constantly in overdrive plagueing me with everything that's ever gone wrong.
I'm sad, and I don't want to leave this world with any grudges or bad feelings whatsoever. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
My earliest memories are of nightmares. At the age of 1-2 I would dream of black and white chess games - I didn't even know what chess was at that age. Two people facing each other over a chess board, one would make a move towards the end of the match and think he had won. He would be wild with excitement, clapping and cheering, the crowd going wild. Only he'd soon realise he hadn't won, and would feel the most intense sense of embarrassment ever, which I also felt, through him.
There was another one where a big-nosed detective would walk onto the scene in a coffee-stained, scribbly animation paper. He'd see something on the ground and "the crowd" would fall deadly silent. So silent it ******* hurt. He's pick up this object and it would be a part of my body - a tooth, my tongue, whatever. The crowd would roar so loud, deafening me, a million voices all at once screaming so fiercely.
These are my earliest memories - nightmares and anxiety. Coupled with sleepwalking, night tremors/terrors, sleep paralysis... you name it. All the shitty and horrible things one can experience while asleep, these are my memories and experiences with going to bed.
I feel so pathetic and horrible and abusive and completely intolerant of anything that stresses me out in the slightest, My ex doesn't want to be with me, she's chosen to be with the other man she was sleeping with throughout our entire relationship (which she later told me wasn't a real relationship as she was simply casually dating us both) and even though we were best ******* friends, she has now blocked me from all form of communication and I hate my ******* stupid life so much.
I try to give advice to people who feel similar to me and just want to end it all but I don't take it myself, or rather I do take it but it doesn't ******* help. I have my hobbies, I have friends and people I can talk to, it just doesn't ******* matter because I feel like complete and utter honeysuckle both conscious and unconscious, there is no escape from it and my ******* idiot mind is constantly in overdrive plagueing me with everything that's ever gone wrong.
I'm sad, and I don't want to leave this world with any grudges or bad feelings whatsoever. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
W
WildernessWildChild
Guest
I forgot to grab my pillow....
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Tonight? A power supply.
PrinceOfPeace
Well-known member
painter said:
Man thats a heavy burden brother ur not pathetic at all ur just human like the rest of us, unfortunatley life dishes out sum tough sh¤t to help us grow, and about giving advice sometimes we help others in the hope of helping ourselves, I carried around something similar to that kinda weight, for what seemed like an eternity felt like everything went to sh¤t after my breakup, I know what u mean with the brain being on overdrive, for me it felt like a constant slap in the face, or a kick in the guts with things of the past & i was constantly looking for anything to inebriate the pain & the memorys, some days it was so hard just to get out of bed, life ddnt feel worth living, I know this wont help much, nothing anyone can say or do can take that hurt away, trust me I know, time heals a broken heart my friend, its slow like the grains in an hourglass but grain by grain it does heal, I met someone who made me realise in the long run my loss was actualy my gain, all this pain I felt was for a person that never truly loved me & not to be down about it instead be proud that Im such a good man, its her loss, I deserve better, so ima aim higher, so I did & I am & Im so happy now, cos it free'd me, when ur heart finaly heals some, be proud your a good man lift ur sights higher & find that woman who truly deserves you, shes out there man proly wishing for a guy who's walked in your shoe's lifes funny like that
hang in there!
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
painter said:
Painter my friend... *bigbighug*
I really hope you will feel better overall.. it's not right.. you're a good person as far as I know and totally deserve better.
Broken_Doll
Well-known member
1. Strange dreams and strange thoughts...
2. When ever I drink but don't drink enough to like pass out and stuff I nearly always seem to have trouble falling asleep (finally fell asleep around 8am).
3. Thinking, lots and lots of thinking about all kinds of things.
4. Sudden rushes of creativity when I'm dog tired.
5. The mentally ill man next door who likes to scream/shout/swear really loudly at people and often nothing at all hours.
6. A good movie/book.
7. Worrying.
8. Horny + nobody or just horny = often can't sleep.
7. Missy cat scratching at my bedroom door to be let in at night, then once or twice during the night she'll scratch again to be let in and out (in the mornings if my alarm goes off she goes bloody crazy until I turn it off or get up (she jumped out of my wardrobe onto my pillow, ran around in circles and then climbed up me when I finally got out of bed and stood up just the other morning), once it's off we sleep for 10 more minutes then she asks me to open the door for her, if I don't she gets over friendly and won't go away until I fall out of bed).
2. When ever I drink but don't drink enough to like pass out and stuff I nearly always seem to have trouble falling asleep (finally fell asleep around 8am).
3. Thinking, lots and lots of thinking about all kinds of things.
4. Sudden rushes of creativity when I'm dog tired.
5. The mentally ill man next door who likes to scream/shout/swear really loudly at people and often nothing at all hours.
6. A good movie/book.
7. Worrying.
8. Horny + nobody or just horny = often can't sleep.
7. Missy cat scratching at my bedroom door to be let in at night, then once or twice during the night she'll scratch again to be let in and out (in the mornings if my alarm goes off she goes bloody crazy until I turn it off or get up (she jumped out of my wardrobe onto my pillow, ran around in circles and then climbed up me when I finally got out of bed and stood up just the other morning), once it's off we sleep for 10 more minutes then she asks me to open the door for her, if I don't she gets over friendly and won't go away until I fall out of bed).
painter's radio
Well-known member
Thanks ladyf and princeofpeace. Some good words there that I should really try and imprint onto my brain when it goes out of control like last night. Some nights are a lot worse than others. Thank you.
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perfanoff
Guest
the fact histamine levels increase in people while they're asleep.
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Bones
Guest
It normally takes me <= 5 minutes to fall asleep.
Smylz
New member
I want sex, I crave it but he doesn't. I lay next to him at night getting madder and madder. I cry sometimes. I feel even lonelier at this time.
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