what's more lonely?

[cool_breeze]

Hi people. What do you think is more lonely? Constantly dating/having sex with people even if most of it is nothing great or holding out for truly special connections even if those are rare and it takes a long time in between each one?

I know people that do both. Sometimes I'm jealous. I know people who have had like literally 20 girlfriends and were having sex with all of them. If you talk to them about it though usually they're miserable and the vast majority of the girls don't mean much. This isn't a guy and girl thing btw. It can go either way.

A few of my friends have constant one night stands or will see a girl for like a week or a month or a very short period of time.

So which is more lonely? I guess some people do a mix also. Have a couple really meaningful relationships and in between have some one night stands or very short connections. Anyway I am curious about what you guys think.

 

[LostInside]

Being one of the having rare dates and partners I would say the later, although I am not holding out for anyone. I am simply considered generally unattractive to the overwhelming majority of women. I did have a brief time in my life where I was doing well with dating and I was less lonely that in the in between phases which can last years (not an exaggeration, I'm sure others here have gone through the same).

 

[Lonesome Crow]

mmmm coming from me....it's more lonely and boring to isolate.
Yes..yes i can feel alone in a room full of people and have had plenty of sexual encounters with countless women
Even doing threesome and what have ya. It sure the hell wsnt boring. I dont just have sex all the time.
I'll hang out. chit chat with them. sometime spend weekends with them just doing whatever...
Its a far cry from sitting home alone stairing at the four fucken walls contimplating suicide.
Plus I get the cheap thrill and excitment of I BE HUNTER looking for love on these lonely streets again.
Beat the hell out of me whom I'm going to run into next and every woman I meet isnt quite excatly the same...
And they all move different in bed and likes it different ways. Just the adventure of meeting different people in general.

My loneliness comes from the same place as people sitting at home alone. I've found mrs right and i can't be with
her. I wish to be with her...but I cant have her. And it would take hundreds of women to make up for her
I have the love virus fucken bad..bad And some women actaully wants to fix me..becuase after all what in the
hell dose this one chick have that they dont have.
Well...she has my fucken heart and soul.

I've also been in toxic relationship where I'm sitting home alone and stairing at the four fucken walls..
which is the same as living alone and feeling alone...

Sitting home alone sucks ******* ass to me ..no matter how you slice it.

A healthy loving relationship is were is at. HAd that and want more of that,,,
but sometime you gotta go with the ******* flow...making ******* lemmon aide out of a fucken lemmon..ya know what I'm saying

And the thing of it is...I'm not a womenizer. It just looks and seems that way. Some poeple migh not agree with that...but i dont really give a fresia what they think
about me..they dont know me.

 

[Sci-Fi]

That's an interesting question, not sure I have an answer myself. I think it could go either way, all depends on the person.

 

[Darkness]

I'm going to have to say holding out for that special someone. I haven't been in a relationship my whole life. I'm to the point now I don't even really care about sex. Yes I would like to experience it, but I rather just have someone to hold into my arms and never let go of.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Holding out for someone special. The way you posed the question says in one side, the sex side, you are out at least trying. The other side you are just waiting.

 

[ShybutHi]

I'm going to have to say holding out for that special someone. I haven't been in a relationship my whole life. I'm to the point now I don't even really care about sex. Yes I would like to experience it, but I rather just have someone to hold into my arms and never let go of.

Yep, thats exactly my stance on the whole relationship thing aswell.

 

[alonewanderer]

Holding out is much more lonely, it makes you crave touch, intimacy and contact leading to daydreaming and fantasies.

 

[cool_breeze]

I have done a lot of dating but it can be a long time between actual relationships and sex. I think there have been times when I went out with someone a couple times and I probably could've escalated to sex even if we both knew there wasn't a great connection. But why force it? Some men do and take sex at every opportunity. I have friends that do that all the time. Have sex with people and you know neither party is really thrilled about it but they're bored and lonely or whatever so they do it anyway. Usually after doing that 1 or 2 or 3 times with the person they don't even talk to each other anymore. What do you guys think? Is it good to have sex just to have sex even if you know it's nothing special?

 

[IgnoredOne]

"Holding out" is more lonely and less educational.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I know people who have had like literally 20 girlfriends and were having sex with all of them.

Ew. That's disgusting.

=S

Why can't people just enjoy other peoples company and be intimate in other ways than having sex. *makes face*

 

[WishingWell]

I don't "sleep around" so wouldn't want to meet someone and have a one night stand. I would feel cheap sleeping with just anyone, and, if I was the type to sleep with just anyone, I would be afraid of getting an STD. I feel that is equally lonely than not being with someone at all since you don't know the person. Also, having one night stands, with people you just met, maybe can be sexually fulfilling for some, but not me. I have to get to know someone and have them know me and have mutual caring to be intimate. I'd rather stay by myself, although I am really lonely at this point in my life!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Why can't people just enjoy other peoples company and be intimate in other ways than having sex. *makes face*

Becuase what women want is emotional bonding, compansionship
and all that romance stuff....which is find and dandie

On the other end of this same stick...is call co-dependency or emmeshing.

STD??? that's what condems are made for.

You're too pure for this world angles...all of us sinners sold our souls a long time ago
We're out to drink your blood, steal your souls and contaminate your minds...so lock all your door.lol

 

[nerdygirl]

I'd rather be by myself than be lonely with somebody else. The meaningless sex does not solve loneliness. It might be fun or interesting, it might be physically exhilarating... but it doesn't make you stop being lonely. It just makes you forget for a little while.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I'd rather be by myself than be lonely with somebody else. The meaningless sex does not solve loneliness. It might be fun or interesting, it might be physically exhilarating... but it doesn't make you stop being lonely. It just makes you forget for a little while.

This is very beautifully put. It can easily become an addiction, like many other pleasant things, and addictions do not give one any true happiness.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Loneliness is too a sort addiction and life style...

As F-up and maloncaly you might feel...you still like it or became addicted to it.

As in any addictions...you're deny it and give millions of reasons and excuse why you chose not to change your life.
perhasp you might seek pity or sympathy from other to keep the cycle going.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Loneliness is too a sort addiction and life style...

I don't think loneliness is an addiction; a lifestyle, perhaps, but that is distinct from addiction. A better argument is that loneliness stems from inertia, of not wanting to change what one is presently doing, or being afraid of being hurt if one changes one's behavior(going out to ask someone to be your friend could incur rejection, so one doesn't), so its perhaps more accurate to say that loneliness stems from strategies of pain avoidance rather than pleasure seeking.

As in any addictions...you're deny it and give millions of reasons and excuse why you chose not to change your life.
perhasp you might seek pity or sympathy from other to keep the cycle going.

Ditto. Personally, my life changed for the better when I took the courage to change, and I think that in no small part, the very act of being willing to change and becoming responsible for oneself is extremely important.

That includes being able to have sex, but that is ultimately only part(though a major part) of being reasonably satisfied with life in general. I don't think that more sex would make me happier, though; all of the petty dramas springing from it and the attention put into it would make seeking it almost a part-time job.