when dating...when should you have se*

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Sailor Moon said:
I almost dated a lawyer but he said I didn't give him enough attention that he desires...but he wanted a pic every five seconds and he said I'm really touchy and feely type and if you cant meet my needs then I dont want you especially if I'm not getting laid after buying you a meal...I felt degraded and horrible...we like the same games...shows...everything

Like the shoes fits almost everywhere...and he wants to settle down but his ADD I think he told me..he told me I had to entertain him all the time in the relationship and send pics smiling or doing whatever every five secs..i felt like I was on a tabloid


He sounds like a dick, and trust me, you are better off without him. He'd probably blame you for his failures to achieve an erection down the road.

If he wants a woman who'll give it up every time he whips out his wallet, he ought to stick to prostitutes.

Like other posters before me, I think that the notion of the 3rd date rule is ridiculous. You have sex with someone when you both feel comfortable end of story. Relationships which are wholly sex-driven never last, because sex drives will change throughout a person's life. There has to be a stronger attraction and commitment than simply sex.
 
Sailor Moon said:
I'm not really that smart though....how can I change the topic ..without giving the guy a rude brush off if I'm really interested in him.


I almost dated a lawyer but he said I didn't give him enough attention that he desires...but he wanted a pic every five seconds and he said I'm really touchy and feely type and if you cant meet my needs then I dont want you especially if I'm not getting laid after buying you a meal...I felt degraded and horrible...we like the same games...shows...everything

Like the shoes fits almost everywhere...and he wants to settle down but his ADD I think he told me..he told me I had to entertain him all the time in the relationship and send pics smiling or doing whatever every five secs..i felt like I was on a tabloid

The first bit made no sense to me... Why would you try and change the topic? That is just avoiding the whole situation and would make it even worse because you are not communicating or being honest with the person.

That lawyer guy is blatantly an arrogant dick of a person who most likely just wants sex so good job you didnt get into a relationship with him. Infact the way you talked about how he was treating you/talking to you makes him sound like he thought you were an escort.

How could you even contemplate wanting to go on a date with someone like that?
 
It's more like The 3 date AIDS rule. If you want an STD, wait 3 dates. *twitch*

ShybutHi said:
How could you even contemplate wanting to go on a date with someone like that?

Shy, be nice. =l

 
SophiaGrace said:
Shy, be nice. =l

No but honestly though soph it was a real question. I was not trying to be condescending.

The way she talked about that guy was almost like he was demanding sex from her if she got with him. It is a good job she didnt in my opinion.

He is right in my catagory of "I will punch you in the face if i ever met you for being a pathetic excuse of a human being".

"especially if im not getting laid after buying you a meal"

My god that is just sickening.








 
Myself I wouldn't wait six months. Not so much because I don't want to wait, but if I'm not feeling it by then (or she isn't) then to me there's something going wrong in the physical attraction department which might need looking into. Though if both parties are good with waiting that long or longer then that's fine too.
 
You have to set the expectations early. If you don't let the guy know up front how you expect the relationship to progress and he is used to a pace that would lead to sex in a short amount of time then he is going to think that something is wrong with you or the relationship. Also make sure that there is some escalation in the relationship no matter how small otherwise he will think that the relationship has stalled. Remember, women speak with words and men speak more physically. As long as you start very slow, the smallest progression will let the guy know that you like him and that things are going in the right direction.
 
Sexy time is a time of very special and should be full of happy nervous feelings. Then as time go by you get more comfortable with your lover and then you get bored of them unless you don't be lazy and try to keep things interesting.

Sexual time is part of any relationship and should not be rushed or repressed. It's natural for a man to want to make a sexy as it is for a woman, but a noble man of honor will respect his ladies wishes and not dishonor or bring shame and sadness upon her face if she rejects his initial advances.

A good man understands if his woman feels uncomfortable, respects it, and works around it and seeks to gain trust so that sexy time will be a mutually happy time explosion.


 
I think you did what your body felt most natural...

theres definately nothing wrong with sex with a person you have a deep intimate relationship with.

But like you said... if its just starting out... and you aren't getting that type of connection... and then you realize he's expecting sex?... well even if you did end up going through with it, you probably wouldnt have enjoyed it much, if at all...

But then again... if you are teasing a guy regarding sex.. well... thats a another twisted game that shouldnt be played unless you plan to go there...
 
It's just odd we both agreed in the beginning we both wanted long term and he complimented me alot but then he was like oh I'm getting in contact with other girls that gives me more attention and doesn't mind getting sexual....

I'm sorry but it's not gonna work your just too conservative plus your not giving me what I want.....





All in all ya he was an *******
 
Almost sounds like me...

not with demands like that... but my heart is with my first love... well never have been able to fall in love since...
but I have tried to recreate a relationship that we had with other women... we both agreed how a good relationship would feel like.. or be treated...

sometimes we can agree to things without really knowing the full extent of its meaning...

Or maybe I'm wrong about him. guys are just looking for sex... If you are pretty... its tough for a guy not to think about it... tbh...
 
Stats say girls think about sex just as much.

It's just not socially acceptable to admit it or acknowledge it.
 
Astral_Punisher said:
@ Frito

Any links with reports or stats that back that statement up? Just curious.


How Often do Men and Women Think About Sex?- Psychology Today

We found that the median number of sexual thoughts for men was 18.6 and for women it was 9.9. In contrast, the average for men was 34.2 and for women it was 18.6. Statistical tests indicated that the number of thoughts about sex was not statistically larger than the number of thoughts about food and sleep. Men had more thoughts about all three of those areas than did women. These findings paint a rather different picture of men than does the urban legend of thinking about sex many times per minute. The typical men in this sample were thinking about sex once or twice an hour, and statistically no more and no less than they were thinking about eating or sleeping.

...

We can't know from our study if men really had more thoughts about sex, food, and sleep than women did, or if they were just more likely to recognize and/or record those thoughts. There is some evidence that at least some women were reluctant to report certain types of thoughts.
...

Another scale that we administered to the participants measured their degree of comfort with sexuality (erotophilia). Participants with higher erotophilia scores also reported more sexual thoughts. In fact, if you could know only one thing about people in order to best predict how often they think about sex, you would be better off knowing their degree of erotophilia rather than whether they are male or female.


For starters. So, men seem to have more thoughts about sex than women, though they're not sure of the nature or the duration of those thoughts. Note that it is significantly less than the once every 7 seconds that is commonly touted.
 
OK, so men think about it twice as much, lol.

I bet women's thoughts last twice as long! :D

*couldn't resist*
 
Frito Bandito said:
OK, so men think about it twice as much, lol.

I bet women's thoughts last twice as long! :D

*couldn't resist*



Could very well be...

:)
 
tangerinedream said:
Astral_Punisher said:
@ Frito

Any links with reports or stats that back that statement up? Just curious.


How Often do Men and Women Think About Sex?- Psychology Today

That report is very interesting - I figured that women would be quite low - less then 2-3 times a day average median, but I guess they do think about it.

You know what would be very interesting to me:
How many times a day do people think about sex with their PARTNER, as opposed to someone else, or a fantasy situation, etc.
 
The first question you have to ask is have you set the proper expectations? When you first start dating do you let them know where you stand on the issue? If you haven't then this will inevitably become an issue. The second area is escalation. Do you start your relationship at a certain physical level and then not escalate it any further? If you do the guy will begin to think that there is something wrong with either you or himself, or the relationship. Is you set the proper expectations, then start at a very low level and slowly, even very slowly escalate it should help. Men tend to share feelings and emotions more physically then women do. As long as you move the relationship forward, even if it is at a snails pace, the guy will see it as going somewhere and not as becoming stale.
 
The general rule is three dates, but I, as a virgin male, would wait 3 months, to give her some time (and me some time) to get adjusted to being committed to each other.

I don't consider "fooling around" to be sex. Oral, both sides, is fine. I would just be against vaginal penetration.
 

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