When did you realize you were lonley? When did it become an issue?

[Restless soul]

I tend to ask a lot of questions in my thread. Maybe I am good at it. so My questions are..

1. When did you realize you were lonley or any of the sub categories. ( depression, self esteem )

2. When did it become a constant bother and presence in your life?

For me it was after a relationship that ended. And after that, it's been a constant presence like it was woken up.
I woke up. Literally and figuratively. It is awful. Because now I just can't seem to shake the feeling no matter what. It would be misleading to write that before the relationship all was fine and great. Wasn't but then we would be getting into some muddy waters and I don't even understand some of my own behaviors.

But please feel free to chime in. On what you think the solutions are to a heavy feeling of lonliness, and feeling just lost..would love to hear what set off the lonliness or depression pattern feelings in others and how they are coping. Thanks. Feel free to ask me any question

 

[Oldyoung]

First time was in elementary school when no one wanted to hang out with me and I wandered aimlessly around in the school yard alone.

 

[Restless soul]

First time was in elementary school when no one wanted to hang out with me and I wandered aimlessly around in the school yard alone.

Hmmm..maybe I should of phrased my questions different. Going back to childhood is not the same degree or awareness of lonliness as an adult. At least it can't be. Speaking of being one myself. It can and maybe plays a role in how we are today. I said I was lonley and it only became extreme and able to feel it after a reltionship. ( as an adult) an adult example.
Yes I knew I was lonley and had isues before that. Of course!! I meant as an adult.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

First time was in elementary school when no one wanted to hang out with me and I wandered aimlessly around in the school yard alone.

Hmmm..maybe I should of phrased my questions different. Going back to childhood is not the same degree or awareness of lonliness as an adult. At least it can't be. Speaking of being one myself. It can and maybe plays a role in how we are today. I said I was lonley and it only became extreme and able to feel it after a reltionship. ( as an adult) an adult example.
Yes I knew I was lonley and had isues before that. Of course!! I meant as an adult.

Nope I don't think so it occurred to me in my teens.... 'surely loneliness isn't something that persists'...it's a parasite that persists and constantly undermines but I guess I understand it's origins unfortunately I had no one to prevent it's full and abiding infection..but then I am a bit pissed at present

 

[Tiina63]

I first became deeply, 100% lonely when I went to university. People had this image of me based solely on my academic abilities, which did not take into account the psychological issues I had and which was far from reality both because of this and because for me meeting someone to settle down with was the most important thing while having a career was something I knew I would never be able to cope with This disconnect between what they expected me to be and who I really was made me feel totally alone in the world.

 

[Tealeaf]

I was actually pretty happy to just have books and pets as a child. I didn't care much for other people, so I didn't learn much about how to make friends. When I started going through a difficult time at home, I found myself without much support or reason to go out and do things. Making a couple friends opened my eyes to how much I could like being around people and benefit from it, as we spent a lot of time just talking to each other and they encouraged me to go out more, but it was always hard to make more.

Usually I'd have one or two friends IRL in school at a time, and after leaving school it became even harder just to meet people in a setting that felt natural and fun, not forced and impersonal. Past a point there's a lot that books, video games, writing, etc, won't do or teach someone.

 

[Menorahman]

First time was in elementary school when no one wanted to hang out with me and I wandered aimlessly around in the school yard alone.

Hmmm..maybe I should of phrased my questions different. Going back to childhood is not the same degree or awareness of lonliness as an adult. At least it can't be. Speaking of being one myself. It can and maybe plays a role in how we are today. I said I was lonley and it only became extreme and able to feel it after a reltionship. ( as an adult) an adult example.
Yes I knew I was lonley and had isues before that. Of course!! I meant as an adult.

Your attitude is not doing you any favors.

 

[Restless soul]

You are so kind.

 

[Restless soul]

I had to block some prick here. Could have abused him. But that goes against why I come to this board for some peace of mind.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I had to block some prick here. Could have abused him. But that goes against why I come to this board for some peace of mind.

If you're talking about another forum member, please keep that private. Thank you.

 

[Restless soul]

Ok.

 

[soresoul]

Restless I been bullied on here too. I tried to pm you but it wouldn't go through for some reason so that's why I'm saying this here. Message me anytime and I'll tell you about my experience.

 

[Case]

As soon as I started looking for a site on loneliness and found this place, I knew I was being adversely affected.

 

[Kianda]

I experienced loneliness when I was fostered to strangers (an unfamiliar family) during one summer holiday as a child of four. It was a strong unpleasant feeling that I did not like.

I was left alone to occupy myself and must have experienced many episodes of loneliness but it was only as a teenager at boarding school that I finally put a name to those feelings.

At boarding school I was often alone as my two friends were not in my class so we only met up at break time (one was a day boarder and the other a weekly boarder). Weekends were the worse as it seemed like everyone else had a great time and did not notice or care that I was alone.  I knew that I was alone and I felt so lonely that I did not want to exist anymore.

Life at boarding school was quite strict and supervised and it must have been obvious that my parents were not writing to me or phoning me during term time. I felt different, inferior and was often without a social life, lonely and alone. I am so grateful for the two girls that befriended me - I wish I knew what became of them.

 

[dd11]

I don't really understand the whole boarding school thing. I really don't understand why parents would want to send their kids to boarding school and not have their own children live with them. I mean, yes, i understand there are some great schools and opportunities. But, i cannot think of anything more important than having my children home with me. I was very close to my mom. And, even more so in my teen years. I can't imagine what that would have felt like to be away from home in that situation.

 

[Healing2me]

I first realized I was lonely when I was very young.

It became a constant problem in my life when I got divorced about 10 years ago. That was a HUGE mistake and I've been lonely ever since, but especially now. I can't seem to motivate myself to reach out to people. I want to meet someone and feel love again, but apparently I just want to stay home and mope a few more weeks until after the holidays more. Much of my loneliness could be fixed if I took the steps to do that and be more involved in other things. I miss being loved.

 

[Gorbachov]

It started few years ago. I was used to being by myself and i quite enjoyed the solitude. I have no brothers or sisters and no friends around so i just hung out alone and dreamed all by myself. Quite a dozen mistakes and failures later depression got to me and loneliness came with it.

 

[DarkSelene]

It started few years ago. I was used to being by myself and i quite enjoyed the solitude. I have no brothers or sisters and no friends around so i just hung out alone and dreamed all by myself. Quite a dozen mistakes and failures later depression got to me and loneliness came with it.

Besides the not having brothers thing, this is basically me, except I still enjoy the solitude most of the time.

 

[Meaw]

I realized it when I as very young (3 to 4?) went to daycare and sat out by the clothes all day instead of ever talking to anyone. They used to push me and my brother with pillows (like normal pushes, but holding pillows in their hands between them and us). It did not become a problem for me until my burnout, which was when I could not keep myself occupied with my interest knowledge and had to try to fill my life with something else (that turned out to become gaming, something I'd never have guessed). Burnout was maybe at age 18-19, but I'm not the best at keeping track of time.

 

[Holden76]

I realized that I was lonely when more of my friends was getting engaged, married, having kids. I felt like no matter how much I succeed in my career, or how much money I can make, there will never be any guy that will want to date me. I am 40 years old ( not a twink, black, ,over the lustful age, fat, and have 2 chronic illnesses). Who knows when my time will come. Will it come when I die from COPD? Will my kidneys finally shut down, and I will have to do dialysis?