when your past haunts you!

[just*rose]

those any one else cant get some sleep of what happend when your where like14..15 or what ever just over somthing that happend years ago. like i was brought up ina gypsy roma life but at 14 i was ment to mary so i ran away got into foster care and have bin up and down houses familys it was horible i remember sleeping ina big construction pipe with my friend when we ran away from our gypsy colture family. now years later im home with my fsmily i love them to bits and i feell sooo bad for what ive done to them ..so bad i cant sleep it hunts me down the memories i cant still see the images in my head.

they never wanted to make me mary they said ...but just to talk to him see if i would like to know him better. what else can i say! those your past hunt you?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Wow. I am really sorry for what you have had to deal with in your life. I don't blame you for running away, but can't imagine the pain you have from being in foster care, and all.

I have several things that haunt me from my teenage years. And I have things from the last year that are haunting me. I wish I knew how to make it go away.

I hope that you can find some relief.

 

[Lone Apothecary]

The night when one of my mother's ex-boyfriends (the father of my younger half-sibling) abused her when I was younger still haunts me to this day. Yelling or any sort of domestic tension makes me feel like the frightened child I was that night, all over again. I've lost sleep over it. I've spent hours sat in my chair, trembling and wanting to call a mental health line, but failing to muster up the courage until the wee hours of the morning.

I can't blame you for running away, and I can't imagine what you went through in bad foster homes, but I don't think you should beat yourself up over what you did to your parents. Sure, running away causes parents a lot of stress, and even if they didn't want to make you marry, even trying to get a 14 year old to consider marriage isn't right, and it's definitely not something any adult should do to a minor.

 

[jayme89]

ironically enough i just had a horrible anxiety and crying spell last night thinking of how i was tormented all of middle school. just depressed about how much that experience changed me and how better a person i would be if not for that experience. its nice to say that we should let go and move on from the past but its easier said then done.

 

[Drama]

I guess the past does leave us with scars, but the more you think about it the greater your pain becomes. Try to push negative thoughts away you have a future to think about, not just a past to relive over and over again till it destroys you.

 

[sk66rc]

I think almost everybody has some sort of past history they'd rather forget... All I can say is, I do have one incident that involves me seeing their faces in my dream every so often... Wake up in soaking sweat... I once had a cop knock on my door because my neighbor thought they heard screaming... Well, they did but it was me waking up screaming... Well, I'm much better now but that one phase of my life & the length of time afterwards that affected me, I haven't fully recovered yet...

 

[Ovid]

Dreams are the worst for bringing back horrible memories, especially if the memories are recent. I'm struggling with that.

 

[mari1969]

I had a partner that was an abuser (not physically), he left me 2 month ago and im having very bad moments. I can feel the sadness, the loneliness in my body, feels like hurt aldo the anxiety is very high, meddening, and the worst is that i dont see the light in the end of the tunnel.
With the rason/the brain i know what you have to say "he was an abuser so is the best that could be happen", ok, I agree¡¡ but i cant tolerate, my chest, my body cant tolerate the loneliness and the hopeness.