Who have the same experience as me

[DesertWolf]

I'd like to share a little about my own experiences; Perhaps it will give you some comfort to know that you're not alone in having to deal with these sorts of issues.

I had bullying issues at school (and later at university/work) as well, and I think I understand your fear of being physically attacked very well. Any physical human touch automatically made me panic and back away in anticipation of being hit. I did get bashed many times though, so it wasn't completely irrational.

Once my anger at being treated unfairly exploded and I fought back, injuring an attacker. This kept the bullies at bay for about a month or two, but after that it started again. I couldn't simply avoid the bullies - They were attracted to me like lions to an injured gazelle. They knew I didn't like fighting back, that I had a low self-esteem and was lonely (plus I was always a little eccentric). My parents weren't very supportive either; In fact they accused me of exaggerating the extent of my issues due to "teenage angst" and being "overly sensitive". However, it's been serious enough that I've developed C-PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress disorder) as a result.

The school administrations (I've changed schools many times in a fruitless effort to escape the bullying) was of no help either - In fact, they became my enemies as well. Once I was attacked by a group of around 5 students after school because the main attacker was falsely told by others that I made fun of him. I defended myself until some members of the public came to my help. I reported this incident to the school admin, and the next day I was suspended from school for being involved in a fight. The vice principal told me it didn't matter who started it - he just didn't want students fighting while in school uniform and hence tarnishing the school's image. Another staff remember asked me why it's always me getting picked on and suggested that it's probably somehow all my fault.

I don't want to discourage you from trying to get help from staff members of your own school though - what I've gone through took place in different countries and different schools employing different people. I think if there is an effective anti-bullying policy in place at your school, it will be of invaluable help to you. Recording every incident will help them deal with the bullies (and help you deal with the school should you ever need to take legal action against it in order to defend your rights). Seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist to help with your self-esteem and anxiety issues would probably be a big benefit to you as well - I regret not doing the same until I was at university. Once you deal with your self-esteem, anxiety, etc issues you will appear less vulnerable and hence probably attract less bullies too.

As for meeting the bullies in a public place, turn the other way around and walk away. If they follow you, call the police... Seriously! Physically assaulting other people is against the law, and there's nothing wrong with you standing up for your rights. Most bullies are cowards that prey on the weak, and once they have run-in with the police, there's a good chance they won't try it again, at least not with you.

Actual threat of violence is subtle. They definitely have threatened me about finding me and punching me but I seriously do not know whether it is a joke or a serious matter. However, until now it has not happened yet.

I think this is still a good enough reason to have a chat with the police. Making threats to harm others, whether subtle or not, is a serious offense.

 

[JuanCanta]

I'd like to share a little about my own experiences; Perhaps it will give you some comfort to know that you're not alone in having to deal with these sorts of issues.

I had bullying issues at school (and later at university/work) as well, and I think I understand your fear of being physically attacked very well. Any physical human touch automatically made me panic and back away in anticipation of being hit. I did get bashed many times though, so it wasn't completely irrational.

Once my anger at being treated unfairly exploded and I fought back, injuring an attacker. This kept the bullies at bay for about a month or two, but after that it started again. I couldn't simply avoid the bullies - They were attracted to me like lions to an injured gazelle. They knew I didn't like fighting back, that I had a low self-esteem and was lonely (plus I was always a little eccentric). My parents weren't very supportive either; In fact they accused me of exaggerating the extent of my issues due to "teenage angst" and being "overly sensitive". However, it's been serious enough that I've developed C-PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress disorder) as a result.

The school administrations (I've changed schools many times in a fruitless effort to escape the bullying) was of no help either - In fact, they became my enemies as well. Once I was attacked by a group of around 5 students after school because the main attacker was falsely told by others that I made fun of him. I defended myself until some members of the public came to my help. I reported this incident to the school admin, and the next day I was suspended from school for being involved in a fight. The vice principal told me it didn't matter who started it - he just didn't want students fighting while in school uniform and hence tarnishing the school's image. Another staff remember asked me why it's always me getting picked on and suggested that it's probably somehow all my fault.

I don't want to discourage you from trying to get help from staff members of your own school though - what I've gone through took place in different countries and different schools employing different people. I think if there is an effective anti-bullying policy in place at your school, it will be of invaluable help to you. Recording every incident will help them deal with the bullies (and help you deal with the school should you ever need to take legal action against it in order to defend your rights). Seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist to help with your self-esteem and anxiety issues would probably be a big benefit to you as well - I regret not doing the same until I was at university. Once you deal with your self-esteem, anxiety, etc issues you will appear less vulnerable and hence probably attract less bullies too.

As for meeting the bullies in a public place, turn the other way around and walk away. If they follow you, call the police... Seriously! Physically assaulting other people is against the law, and there's nothing wrong with you standing up for your rights. Most bullies are cowards that prey on the weak, and once they have run-in with the police, there's a good chance they won't try it again, at least not with you.

Actual threat of violence is subtle. They definitely have threatened me about finding me and punching me but I seriously do not know whether it is a joke or a serious matter. However, until now it has not happened yet.

I think this is still a good enough reason to have a chat with the police. Making threats to harm others, whether subtle or not, is a serious offense.

Thanks for your reply, like again I do not know whether this is a fake statement this so called friend. He said before his uncle is a high ranking police officer. What good can this do for me? Please reply and thanks very much

 

[mindfield1]

Hi,

There is now to recover yourself from these depressing condition rather till not when you comes out from your room and share, chat and involve with other persons in your daily life.

you need to enjoy the every movement of life by feel better in each and every condition and earning happiness with every movement of your life.

Regards,
Jobs in Middle East

 

[DesertWolf]

Thanks for your reply, like again I do not know whether this is a fake statement this so called friend. He said before his uncle is a high ranking police officer. What good can this do for me? Please reply and thanks very much

It doesn't matter if he actually carries out the threat or not - It is still in all likelihood against the law. The claim that he has a family member in the police force is not only a common scare tactic and hence probably not true, but even if it was it would still be very difficult for his uncle to really intervene. Just because you're a high ranking police officer doesn't mean you wield absolute and unscrutinized power. I know you're scared of retaliation, but it is this fear that these people use to control you. You have to break out of the vicious cycle and fight back!

 

[JuanCanta]

Thanks for your reply, like again I do not know whether this is a fake statement this so called friend. He said before his uncle is a high ranking police officer. What good can this do for me? Please reply and thanks very much

It doesn't matter if he actually carries out the threat or not - It is still in all likelihood against the law. The claim that he has a family member in the police force is not only a common scare tactic and hence probably not true, but even if it was it would still be very difficult for his uncle to really intervene. Just because you're a high ranking police officer doesn't mean you wield absolute and unscrutinized power. I know you're scared of retaliation, but it is this fear that these people use to control you. You have to break out of the vicious cycle and fight back!

I know I am pretty scared there. But what can I do they also have my phone number and house number and may have my house address, please help thx.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Most law enforcement can't actually do anything until a crime is committed, sadly. There are some things you can do, like if there are eye witnesses a person threaten you and they too believe that harm may be done, sometimes you can get restraining orders. I believe it would have to be an extreme threat though, like threatening to kill you. But if someone walks up to you and says "I'm going to kick your ass" there isn't much the police can do. If they could, do you know how many people would be arrested because they got mad and threatened to punch a person? O.O Usually you can always file a complaint alerting authorities to this person. You never know they could have a record already.

There are other people you can alert, like campus authorities.

 

[DesertWolf]

Even if the police can't/won't charge them, they often have a chat with the accused to give them a warning. That alone is enough scare away most bullies and make them realize that you are serious about not taking their crap.