Who knew giving up could feel so good?

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Jun 12, 2008
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Never going to get a girlfriend, never going to have sex, never going to experience an intimate relationship and I don't care. I stopped caring and just accepted the hand I've been dealt.

It actually feels good, liberating in a way.
Yeah...Letting Go is liberating or freedom...

We deal our own hands.

As for me ..I'll never say never...never to anything.lol
You're on to something though.....

The not worrying stuff.

The last time i came to a conclusion...of never, never again.
Life has a way of proving to me that I don't have it all figured out yet. Am i really serious about this never honeysuckle? :p
In other words..she asked me out that day just to fresia up my plans and conclusion...lmao

I didn't give a fresia if she did or not...No worries, no stress... oh fucken well...wierd totally fucken weird.
For some odd reason ...the I don't give a fresia attitude attracts people or women into my life.
Or maybe it was becuase i no loner had internal conflicts within myself or I'm free spirited or care free..

Being okay with myself and having good selfesteem natually without pyscho analizing the honeysuckle out of it.

As long as you're free...
Good for you.
I went through this aswell. It can be liberating, accepting where you are at this time.
I think resisting can be painful.
BUT...that being said, if opportunity knocks, I would keep an open mind. Don't let surrendering turn into an excuse to turn away something that could be very nice. :)
Is it really surrendering? Sorry if i'm being pedantic (and if I am, your welcome to call me 'Ood the pedant' from now on) but I dont think making a confident and courageous choice, one that is actually a hard concept to get a head around could ever be surrendering.

I absolutely agree with the opened mind idea. The easiest way to live a life with few regrets (for my mind, a very important thing to strive for to try to ensure happiness) is to make every decision based on the best evidence available at the time, and to try to do it as logically/impassionately as the situation allows. Once that happens, you can be safe in saying you did the best you could in the situation.

Plus, just because your not going for a girlfriend does not mean your not capable of forming great friendships.
Yeah it might not be surrendering. I call it that because I do not mind the word. Maybe it is just accepting what one has now? Instead of feeling bad and berating oneself about it?
And I agree, making decisions based on the evidence at the time, is doing the best you can. Are you ready for a relationship? Too insecure? Too addicted? etc etc...these things always need to be weighed up.
I do not find the word surrendering to be non courageous....to me it can be a very realistic term..knowing the time to fight, and the time to withdraw....fighting, continually can be very tiring.
keeping an openmind..

The door only needs to be slightly opened.

Surrrendering, letting go, dropping it, giving up, cease fighting....these are all synomyns of the samething.

The paradox

There's peace....

There's no longer a seeking, a need, a wanting, a lack ...these are all Lust.
(please try to understand lust is a wanting state..not just sexaul encounters)
Addiction is just another form of lust. A state of BEING in lack and seeking.

To be whole...complete...free...deliberating...these are all the synomynes of BEING WELL.

Once a person gets to this piont of awakening or awareness... It's like total grace or blitz.

Acceptence was the key. Overcoming the fear of living alone.
Acceptence is (paradox) also the key to accepting one's wholeness or completion (unconitional love).

Once a person is in this state of being...on longer living in fears.
Those other slogons makes sense.

Just do what you do and what you love...then Love will find you.

I was playing in my band. Playing my music..Doing something I love to do. That's what drew her to me.
All of the women I've been with ....asked me out. I was in that state of well being without even picking up
a spiritaul book or training...I was doing something that was natural already within me.
All of the self help books will say I have all the answers to all my problems within myself, anyway.

It's actaully simple...

Once I'M OKAY with ME...then I can be OKAY with you. It's OKAY to BE just OKAY.
Once a person gets to this state of BEING...everything else will flow with ease...(no longer in a state of Dis-Ease)
It'll be a natural process..a domino effect working from the CORE outwards..
Such as ripple effect in a pond...as waves spreading outward in all directions.
I did the exact same thing a couple of years ago. I feel I must warn you though.. At the time I felt that I was making the choice out of desire to be happy but I've found recently that it was far more like cocooning myself from being hurt again. Maybe your situation is different to mine though..
What I'm getting at is that you might (like I have) meet someone who breaks you out of that shell and bring all those old feelings back and believe me, it can be quite intense and depressing if it doesn't go well.
Just be careful and I wish you all the best :)
I have a better idea, we gather up all the people on ALL that want sex and then we have a gangbang.

Problem solved.
PieBeNice said:
I have a better idea, we gather up all the people on ALL that want sex and then we have a gangbang.

Problem solved.

I didn't want to be the first to suggest it. ALL swinger's club! About time!
Nyktimos said:
PieBeNice said:
I have a better idea, we gather up all the people on ALL that want sex and then we have a gangbang.

Problem solved.

I didn't want to be the first to suggest it. ALL swinger's club! About time!

Lol, yeah cookies and milk!
I remember that picture from when I was a kid. ^.^ Great message. :)
Giving up on my life, and adopting a "meh"/"whatever"/"nothing matters" approach, out of thinking that any other approach wouldn't work for me because I wasn't lucky/gifted/talented/superior enough for anything to work for me, is what actively f***ed me over in life.

Giving up on life always has, and keeps me still, in feeling like crap - it's my own personal hell.

I wish I had the wisdom and the fire/drive to have NOT defaulted to it in the first place.
This thread was inactive for 14 years....but it still resonates with me.
I gave up on any close social life, meaningful purpose in life and on any happiness too, when I was about 30 years old.
I did work at a paying job and maintained the logistics of a life, but I needed to get drunk every night to get through to the next day.
This went on for about 25 years.
Quiet desperation and fear for my whole life just winding down to a meaningless death, alone and ignored, drove me to quit drinking and join some structured, purpose oriented groups.
That and providing care up to the moment of death for my mentally disturbed mother provided some meaning and purpose for me.
I'm not quite a social isolate now, but I come close to it. Those three structured, organization based activities that I'm active in may be as good as it gets for me.
Do it all over again? Back when I was about 30 years old? I absolutely would not have given up and lapsed into that 25 year long zone of meaningless, vacant void.

I'd encourage anybody else to not yield to the urge to give up on life.
What are you talking about? How would knowing that you're a failure be liberating? Giving up would mean death for me. I refuse to accept this until the day I die.

Sounds like Buddhist Stoicism, which is good. Acceptance or tolerance. My hat's off to you.
Even Buddhists look forward to something, namely to achieving Nirvana. Without hope for something in the future, we wither and die.

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