Why Can't People Stay Friends?

[Kkelly1234]

I worked at this job for three years and got to know the other three girls fairly well. Occasionally we hung out after hrs and spent time socializing. We weren't "best friends" but I figured we were close enough to "stay" friends. Then I get laid off. Since then we've had one social outing which was about two/three months ago. Recently I tried to do another one and I got the cold shoulder. They all sounded like they were going to come and then started coming up with lame excuses last minute. Now when I text them, no one texts back. What happened? Just because we no longer work together, why can't we enjoy each other's company? I suddenly feel like that "annoying girl" whom no one wants to associate with. It shouldn't bother me but it does. It hurts pretty bad. I really liked these people. I've always been nice to them. I'm always real with people. I don't like beating around the bush or playing games. I really cannot see what went wrong here and it hurts that they won't even talk to me. I don't even know why I care...now with my newer job I have some "friends" but I feel hurt from this past experience. It's effecting my view of new people I meet.

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

aww im sorry they did that to you. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. I think its just 'work friends' tend to grow apart if no longer working together because you used to spend several days a week together every week, several hours a day each time, then its easy to be friends because everyone knows whos doing what and going where and when, and everyone is kinda 'forced' to be in each others company for work reasons so like.. might as well enjoy it and be friends.... but then when you leave, the same bond isn't there because so much time isn't being spent anymore.

I worked with such a fun bunch of people at one of my old jobs and even went out with them outside of work. Then I moved away, and moved back, and got a different job. I've visited them a few times since moving, and they are still nice to me... but its just not the same, we aren't used to being around each other anymore so it makes it awkward to hang out, like I don't get all the inside jokes anymore because I haven't been there, and they have no clue what my life is like anymore its sad to move on but, theres nothing else I could do unless I went back to work there. At least you've made some new friends at the new place don't hold back from getting close to them, they could end up being so fun and you wont know if you hold back

(hugs) just dont let em get you down

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i have no friends.

because when i did, they all treated me like that.

i'm happier alone.

sorry people treated you like poopoo.

 

[mintymint]

I dunno... all I can say is that socially some people don't really venture outside of their current circumstances/situation. It may just be a difference in priorities. Or maybe it's just weird for them. They could feel guilt around you and dislike that feeling. It's not your fault of course. Hard to really tell though.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i say hate people. start your own group. be the leader. make them like have initiation to even be in your presence.

yes, megalomania is the way to go!

did i mention i'm a whackjob!

 

[Badjedidude]

i say hate people. start your own group. be the leader. make them like have initiation to even be in your presence.

yes, megalomania is the way to go!

Lol that makes me think of Kim Jong Il for some reason. XD

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i say hate people. start your own group. be the leader. make them like have initiation to even be in your presence.

yes, megalomania is the way to go!

Lol that makes me think of Kim Jong Il for some reason. XD

----Steve

Team America! F--- Yah!

 

[Badjedidude]

ZOMG YES!!!! XD hahaha I laughed so hard when I saw that...lol

10 points for being awesome, JSD!!! XD

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

ZOMG YES!!!! XD hahaha I laughed so hard when I saw that...lol

10 points for being awesome, JSD!!! XD

----Steve

 

[Badjedidude]

LOL They totally should have done that for the movie!!! XD

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

Kelly,

i'm totally sorry for hijacking your thread, if you ever wanna chat, pm me.

it was in good fun. hope you aren't too offended.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

becuase not everyone know the words to cumbayaaa?

 

[Red_Apple]

Hey Kkelly,
Firstly, welcome to the forums.
I'm sorry to hear that your former co-workers were no longer interested in keeping their friendship with you. You were honest with them, being direct/straight-forward, and they couldn't reciprocate the same to you. Instead, they gave "lame excuses" and throw anything in your path with the bottom-line being, "No, I don't have time for you." I don't think you should feel that you're that "annoying girl." I see it as someone who was trying to maintain a friendship, and it wasn't appreciated, or the aforementioned parties were disinterested. Perhaps you could see it as: I enjoyed the brief friendship while it lasted, because it gave me happiness for some time. Although it's over, there will be more friends and experiences for me to enjoy in the years ahead.
I've had many friendships end, either by them, me, or from both sides, in real life or from online, and from what I can say personally, I can only be content that it happened. As Leena Chandavarkar put it: "If someone gives you a free ticket for a tour, you cannot fight with the person because of the troubles you meet while on the journey."

 

[mika90]

I'm actually going through the same thing. I worked at a job for a year and a half and it seemed like everyone loved me. We went out after hrs a lot and it seemed like we were all pretty close and as is soon as i left my job everybody just cut me off. Even people i considered my best friends ditched me. I got mad at first but it opened my eyes and showed me that "people are people". You really cant expect to much from a person because people will switch up on u. I'm not saying all people are like that but a big majority of them are and there's really nothin you can do about it. Don't get me wrong, i like people but to a certain extent because u really don't know what to expect.

So don't be so hard on yourself. There's a reason why they're not in your life now.

 

[Despair]

The real issue here is rich and poor. If you have a lot of friends, love interests, and family, would you care about maintaining ties with people you hardly talk to? Most people have enough obligations without having any outside of work, and some refuse to make promises about the future.

There are still poor people among us, and people who are so alone or destrought they commit suicide and you know what, I find it completely inexcuable.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I'm actually going through the same thing. I worked at a job for a year and a half and it seemed like everyone loved me. We went out after hrs a lot and it seemed like we were all pretty close and as is soon as i left my job everybody just cut me off. Even people i considered my best friends ditched me. I got mad at first but it opened my eyes and showed me that "people are people". You really cant expect to much from a person because people will switch up on u. I'm not saying all people are like that but a big majority of them are and there's really nothin you can do about it. Don't get me wrong, i like people but to a certain extent because u really don't know what to expect.

So don't be so hard on yourself. There's a reason why they're not in your life now.

yep. people are sheep. followers of the flock. the flock usually makes cruel and careless decisions about members who have fallen behind... i try to keep my connections with people even if it is someone who has left a job, or switched schools, or had a change in relationship status. i have never seen people, or a good friend for that matter, as disposable or replaceable. unfortunately, i think i'm in the minority.

 

[mika90]

I'm actually going through the same thing. I worked at a job for a year and a half and it seemed like everyone loved me. We went out after hrs a lot and it seemed like we were all pretty close and as is soon as i left my job everybody just cut me off. Even people i considered my best friends ditched me. I got mad at first but it opened my eyes and showed me that "people are people". You really cant expect to much from a person because people will switch up on u. I'm not saying all people are like that but a big majority of them are and there's really nothin you can do about it. Don't get me wrong, i like people but to a certain extent because u really don't know what to expect.

So don't be so hard on yourself. There's a reason why they're not in your life now.

yep. people are sheep. followers of the flock. the flock usually makes cruel and careless decisions about members who have fallen behind... i try to keep my connections with people even if it is someone who has left a job, or switched schools, or had a change in relationship status. i have never seen people, or a good friend for that matter, as disposable or replaceable. unfortunately, i think i'm in the minority.

Thats good JSD. We need more people like u.

 

[SilentThinker]

I worked at this job for three years and got to know the other three girls fairly well. Occasionally we hung out after hrs and spent time socializing. We weren't "best friends" but I figured we were close enough to "stay" friends. Then I get laid off. Since then we've had one social outing which was about two/three months ago. Recently I tried to do another one and I got the cold shoulder. They all sounded like they were going to come and then started coming up with lame excuses last minute. Now when I text them, no one texts back. What happened? Just because we no longer work together, why can't we enjoy each other's company? I suddenly feel like that "annoying girl" whom no one wants to associate with. It shouldn't bother me but it does. It hurts pretty bad. I really liked these people. I've always been nice to them. I'm always real with people. I don't like beating around the bush or playing games. I really cannot see what went wrong here and it hurts that they won't even talk to me. I don't even know why I care...now with my newer job I have some "friends" but I feel hurt from this past experience. It's effecting my view of new people I meet.

Though I never have the work life experience only recently since I went for attachment.I also hate the fact that some people leave you simply because the place you are in is different or they have some other so called "better" friends that they can hang out with.

Dun give up the hope of not making new friends in your new jobs because some are still open for relationships and may be loyal to you.Recently,one of my long lost friend gain a new friend in his job and I feel happy for him.(Though it was 3/4 jealous cause I dun have a single one.)

 

[jasonprince]

Probably because he loves you and you get more for it to move forward you need to distance, I did the same to myself, she broke up with me and after a week or two, I knew she did not want me to come and help me for friendship or someone to tell too many problems.

 

[eris]

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but did you say there were a few months between your last outing and this current text ? Maybe they felt as if you didn't really want to be friends because you didn't text them earlier.

PS. I used to be a K. Kelly, too