Haven
Well-known member
Im suffering I feel like a moving corpse I look out my window and see people they look so important like they have people waiting for them.
No one waits for me no one thinks of me all I have is my mother and two brothers I did have a friend but hes gone now.
Both of my brothers are so popular they talk about their friends and girlfriends. My brother called me a lifeless loser. Hes right my life has no value. I don't exist. I cant remember what happiness feels like. I was happy once. If their is a god maybe Im a joke or an experiment, an experiment to see how far can you push a person to the edge before he jumps.
I want to feel again. I want to be happy I want to be alive again. I want to exist I want to be needed desired wanted. I dont want to imagen a social I want to experience I dont want to be just some nobody. I know Im only 20 but Ive felt like this for nine years now. Im sure people will tell me things will get better. But how can others have hope for me when I have none in my self. I dont think I'll last another nine to ten year carrying these emotion I feel worse as I get older. Im not saying Im suicidal but I wonder is there a reason to keep moving forward if you have nothing to live for.
No one waits for me no one thinks of me all I have is my mother and two brothers I did have a friend but hes gone now.
Both of my brothers are so popular they talk about their friends and girlfriends. My brother called me a lifeless loser. Hes right my life has no value. I don't exist. I cant remember what happiness feels like. I was happy once. If their is a god maybe Im a joke or an experiment, an experiment to see how far can you push a person to the edge before he jumps.
I want to feel again. I want to be happy I want to be alive again. I want to exist I want to be needed desired wanted. I dont want to imagen a social I want to experience I dont want to be just some nobody. I know Im only 20 but Ive felt like this for nine years now. Im sure people will tell me things will get better. But how can others have hope for me when I have none in my self. I dont think I'll last another nine to ten year carrying these emotion I feel worse as I get older. Im not saying Im suicidal but I wonder is there a reason to keep moving forward if you have nothing to live for.