Why do they think i'm gay?

[IgnoredOne]

I have to side with Callie on this one. Why should I threaten someone or more, beat someone up cause they called me gay? The problem with society is that being called gay or a fag is considered an insult towards the male and you must prove instantly and aggressively that your not. Why should I prove masculinity to a bunch of douches anyway? Personally, I find reacting in a strong way such as violence, only proves how insecure you are.

Why /shouldn't/ you prove masculinity ever, period? And proving to a 'bunch of douches' is perhaps one of the most fundamental rules in nature - do you think that the male animals in nature posture and fight with other males they like? Of course not. Its supposedly to be instinctual, in my opinion.

At any rate, I'm less concerned with the specific morality than what works. That works.

And I think its less about proving instantly than proving that you /are/ capable of reacting. Really, there isn't any insult to a man that is more direct or specific against his masculinity beyond that he is not for woman. Its as blatant as it gets. To me, its a lot like suggesting to water isn't wet, or fire doesn't burn; you're disputing what is generally seen as an indisputable quality.

 

[Ghost Boy]

I have to side with Callie on this one. Why should I threaten someone or more, beat someone up cause they called me gay? The problem with society is that being called gay or a fag is considered an insult towards the male and you must prove instantly and aggressively that your not. Why should I prove masculinity to a bunch of douches anyway? Personally, I find reacting in a strong way such as violence, only proves how insecure you are.

Why /shouldn't/ you prove masculinity ever, period? And proving to a 'bunch of douches' is perhaps one of the most fundamental rules in nature - do you think that the male animals in nature posture and fight with other males they like? Of course not. Its supposedly to be instinctual, in my opinion.

At any rate, I'm less concerned with the specific morality than what works. That works.

And I think its less about proving instantly than proving that you /are/ capable of reacting. Really, there isn't any insult to a man that is more direct or specific against his masculinity beyond that he is not for woman. Its as blatant as it gets. To me, its a lot like suggesting to water isn't wet, or fire doesn't burn; you're disputing what is generally seen as an indisputable quality.

I see your point. I just kinda see it as trivial. Maybe he can do what NerdyGirl recommends and threaten (or maybe hit) them in a jovial manner. Another point I wanna add is even after you threaten them or even hit them, what if they just keep going? I have friends like that who see that if you're getting angry about a joke and they'll persistently keep jabbing at you, like poking a bear.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I see your point. I just kinda see it as trivial. Maybe he can do what NerdyGirl recommends and threaten (or maybe hit) them in a jovial manner. Another point I wanna add is even after you threaten them or even hit them, what if they just keep going? I have friends like that who see that if you're getting angry about a joke and they'll persistently keep jabbing at you, like poking a bear.

That's kinda why you need to show control. People who poke at bears also get eaten eventually, but I honestly do think the best way to posture is to be calm and collected about it. If you lose control, then it becomes a weakness.

 

[freedom]

i don't mean to offend you, and i mean this with the sole purpose of informing you and guiding you into the direction that you're wanting to go, but there are certain things that signal gayness (if that's a real word).

i also don't have anything against gay people. in fact, i've had a lot of good friends in the past that were gay, but maybe you should take a good look at yourself and make an honest assesment of your attributes and qualities.

usually what signals these accusations is the way that a man carries himself. the way you dress, the way you walk, the sound of your voice, your vocabulary, the kind of music/shows that you like to watch, all these things come into play. i think i've made my point clear, so if you really want them to stop thinking you're gay, then i would start here.

good luck!

 

[Miss Demeanour]

This reminds me of many years ago when my then boyfriend was often approached by men in pubs and nightclubs. We were even out shopping one day and a woman stopped him in the street to ask him if he'd be interested in posing for gay magazines to which he declined. I don't know what it was about him that made people think he was gay because he certainly didn't look girly, in fact he was the opposite and he didn't act effeminate either.

 

[Ghost Boy]

This reminds me of many years ago when my then boyfriend was often approached by men in pubs and nightclubs. We were even out shopping one day and a woman stopped him in the street to ask him if he'd be interested in posing for gay magazines to which he declined. I don't know what it was about him that made people think he was gay because he certainly didn't look girly, in fact he was the opposite and he didn't act effeminate either.

If both women and men are interested in him, than I'd take that as a compliment.

 

[Miss Demeanour]

This reminds me of many years ago when my then boyfriend was often approached by men in pubs and nightclubs. We were even out shopping one day and a woman stopped him in the street to ask him if he'd be interested in posing for gay magazines to which he declined. I don't know what it was about him that made people think he was gay because he certainly didn't look girly, in fact he was the opposite and he didn't act effeminate either.

If both women and men are interested in him, than I'd take that as a compliment.

Yes I should have done really. I was only 15 at the time and he really was a good guy but I let him go, probably met him 10 years too young.

 

[Limlim]

Remember that appellation to nature is a logical fallacy. Nature doesn't have any authority on what we should or shouldn't be doing.

That said high school is pretty much like prison for a few unlucky guys who have less in the way of social skills or presence than the popular ones. In which case your job is to become someones ***** or kick someones ass (like in prison). Image is everything there, and being called gay is just the popular insult of that age, it could easily be a different insult he's being called and the answer would be the same.

You're just being challenged with an arbitrary insult, they wanted to see if they could pick on you. Being gay or not gay has nothing to do with it. Hell if you actually were gay and said so, they'd likely end up not caring as much.

 

[Rolo]

people are ofte just sad and do stuff like this. There could be many reasons- they are in denial or wanting to test the crowd concerning how they feel toward gay people, they are imature, or maybe they have just thought you seem like a easy target and calling you gay is the best they can come up with.

Dont let it get to you, i doubt that people that are not involved in the name calling believ or think the same way. Some people just take longer to learn what is right and wrong!

 

[nerdygirl]

Erm. People keep responding as if it's some sort of bullying, but the original post says that gay men have assumed he was gay and tried to approach him, and that friends have tried to hook him up with people. I don't think this is a case of being teased or victimized.

 

[Rolo]

Erm. People keep responding as if it's some sort of bullying, but the original post says that gay men have assumed he was gay and tried to approach him, and that friends have tried to hook him up with people. I don't think this is a case of being teased or victimized.

Well the original poster said this: Not that theres anything wrong with being gay I just want people know that i'm straight. I've been asked out by a couple of guys, and declined them. A lot of my friends don't believe i'm straight and a couple have even tried to get me a boyfriend. They're good friends and probably mean well but its getting tiring . Why would they think i am gay and not believe me when i say i'm not?

That part i have highlighted makes it sound like there is teasing going on- after all they are ignoring his requests and are doing stuff he doesnt want, he even says he is getting tired of this. To me, this sounds pretty off. Sure, people can asume someone is gay, but when people keep going on about it despite continuously being told otherwise then it becomes less than friendly.

So therefore, i think many of the replies about bullying and the rest maybe justified. It also shows some of the stereotypes and generalisations people have surrounding gay people. If we are wrong aybe the original poster should correct us-otherwise we will not know if we have the wrong idea or not.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

I don't act, look or sound like a gay stereotype of any kind and since last posting here have confronted some of them, a few of them now beleive me and understand, although a couple of them i'm not sure about. There was no logical reason for them thinking it and according to some of them i 'acted' gay and they wouldn't even tell how, when i asked they said 'i don't know'

and thanks for the advice nerdygirl, it seems to have worked

 

[Miss Demeanour]

I would just ignore them if I were you. You've already told them you're straight and that's good enough, not that your sexually has got anything to do with anyone else any way. If they don't accept what you've told them that you're not gay but still continue then they're not real friends and I would have nothing to do with them. As long as you know you're not gay that is all that matters.

 

[rosebud]

Ask your doubtful friends to hire for you an expensive hooker and show them you're not gay. Record it and sale the footage over the internet. You'll have respect and you'll be rich. Or just try and ignore them. They might be teasing you on purpose because they sense you get frustrated about it.

 

[flaneur]

I'm going to be completely honest: I thought you were gay because of the Hello Kitty avatar. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (D)

 

[Peter Lorre]

I'm going to be completely honest: I thought you were gay because of the Hello Kitty avatar. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (D)

+1

I guess you're just too goodlooking Aku, it attracts both males and females.

It's a gift and a curse

 

[condemnedsoul666]

I'm going to be completely honest: I thought you were gay because of the Hello Kitty avatar. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (D)

+1

I guess you're just too goodlooking Aku, it attracts both males and females.

It's a gift and a curse

fresia YOU ALAN YOU SEXY SUNUVA *****!
And guess what?
HELLO KITTY IS COOL SO STFU!

 

[beautifulsorrow]

Yes maybe its something you do or have that gives people that message like your display picture maybe. Now to take the display picture as an example both of us know labelling somone according to something like that is a stupid thing to do, but for the sake of getting people to cut it out maybe you should look for more things like that and stop having them/doing them, it should work. Hope this helps.

 

[Poguesy]

Maybe it's because of all them naked pictures you send me?

 

[acedna]

Is this a joke? You *are* gay??? You called Alan sexy? Now I am confused! lol