Why I feel in this way??

[niki_gal84]

I dont know where to start and how to start. Well I have just gone through hard time in my life...brk up wif my bf last year...long term relationships...he initiated that...he left me just for simple reason...he blamed me for evrything..but none of them are my mistakes..he left me...

It is quite a struggle for me to go through everything that I have been through. too much of depression..

The most stupid and idiotic thing that I ever done is attempted to commit suicide twice.It is really a terrifying experience for me..

I feel very lonely now. Feel like my world is shrinking and shrinking. I tried to make friends and but seems like that lead to another mistake...

All the guys that I ever met, not the type of person Im looking for..good liars..

except one guy whom I met recently.. but too sad he likes me but he dun love me...he brk my heart again..he felt that this is too fast for him..he is not ready yet for any relatioship.. well yeah we just met 4 times... Im not too sure why I felt this way or maybe bcoz I feel lonely..

Im just tired of everything and too much of pain in me...just wished that I could find someone to share...why this is too hard...why its too hard for me to find someone...why I alwiz ended up with Mr.Wrong...??

Im supposed to gt married by this time last year...but things didnt work for us...

Im sick of crying...wanted to move on...but I just dont know how and where to start..

How to get rid of this lonelyness...?? why Im so unfortunate??

I have been worried and uncertain about my life at this point.

 

[Something Creative]

Firstly, welcome to the forums. I hope you will meet some new people and they will share words of wisdom and comfort with you.

I won't lecture or anything.. bottom line is that you're safe and alright. I know depression can get under our skin and make us feel like nothing we never been before. But most important thing is to just be alive, even if life is feeling crappy at the moment.

I'm sorry you and your ex did not work out, however, all guys aren't that black and white in terms of lying. While they are some.. maybe most out there that are jerks and lie, they give bad rep for the ones that are actually genuine out there. I would like to think I am genuine but that is for everyone else to decide, I cannot make that statement on my own.

I've been lonely for quite some while and to make this breif so this isn't turning into a story about me, I have only had 2 relationships in my life first one being somewhat a long one. After those I've been wanting to be with a girl but realistically I'm looking at the big picture. I rather focusing on getting a nice core group of friends and then finally get settled in life.. a good job which I am working on still.. bleh haha.

Anyways, maybe you should try the same? Lay low with relationships and work building a friendhsip base that will be around through thick and thin My door so to speak, is always open to anyone that just needs someone to listen to them, I do not mind at all.. this is why I am here and meet new people.

 

[niki_gal84]

Hey thanks for ur comments..appreciate it

That is what Im trying to do...but its still blur inside..

I wanted to back to back to my self again..

Im looking for some good frenz but I dunno whom to trust..lots of fake faces out there.. too bad..too sad

 

[SophiaGrace]

Hmn, people can be very frightening. Don't let your fear or people make you close up and become bitter or depressed. There ARE good people out there, you just have to look for them. Be patient, and you'll find them.

Chin up, and keep walking forward.

Welcome to ALL

 

[CAS]

Sophia is correct. I'll second what she said.

 

[niki_gal84]

thanks guys...I guess I have found the way out of it now and hope this works...fingers crossed.. =.=

 

[nerdygirl]

Hello and welcome.

 

[niki_gal84]

thank you nerdygal.. >.=

 

[DrunkenMonkey]

I know it is hard to hear, this is your life and regardless of age it is the here and now that matters to you. But keep in mind that you are 25 and have so much more to experience. It is easy for me to say cause i am 36 and have been in love 3 times now and still no significant other to call my own.

Getting your heart broken, regardless of age, isnt an easy thing to live through or overcome. Believe me i know. Just keep in mind that while pre concieved destiny is a joke, things do happen for a reason, and maybe your time to find that one true love isnt right now.

To break down the true biological function of us all is to find our one true love to complete us and to procreate to continue our blood line and/or name. Not to mention to make us whole and travel the road of life together as one... that would be the best feeling of all.

If i had my way, i would still be with my Ex girlfriend and we would be living happily ever after. Unfortunately thats not always how life works. Love is a one way street but it takes 2 of us to move down that street together with no doubt.

You should learn to love yourself and learn to be able to live alone before you can learn to love someone else. Thats when you know it will be true. If you can continue your life happy without anyone and then meet that person that you dont want to live without, and they feel the same, then thats the person meant for you.

Life and love is a complex thing in this world. Just take your time and make sure it is right for you and you will be happy.

Im tired of my heart being broken, and i will make sure it doesnt happen again. But you never know till you try right?

Live your life, be happy with yourself, all else will fall into place.

 

[niki_gal84]

that was so nice of you..I feel much relax now..Thanks for ur support

yeah its true..I need a break now...i dun wanted rush and make another mistake..

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm here for ya, Niki. Haha

Feel free to PM me anytime you want to talk.

----Steve

 

[Ithought]

I am not a right person to reply here because I have no idea about relationship or why they dump me. But your story is not that different with mine.
I wish no more heart breaking but you know
I felt is there something wrong with me? I don’t think I have serious problem than why? Why I am not the one for you? Who knows?
Simply what I can say is he is not that into me. so no matter what he said he is not that into me. Why you deal with braking promises move on Niki
I might cry again when I get drunk and walk in to the dark place and don’t go outside for a few days.
But let’s be realistic. He is not that into you.

To me sad thing is not that they left me, it is Love changed by time.
So I can’t guarantee other love, if there is, will not change.
So I need to find someone willing to try against chemical and electricity activities in his brain because love feeling will be fade in time.
Every time when heart is breaking, it is fell out little bit because I feel empty by the time by time as more have breaking.
Small part try to make reason why it is keep happening.
It might be different if I were pretty? If I were rich, hell yes?
At least I don’t need to worry about they look after my appearing or money heehee ;-P
I guess just I am lack of hormone to make a man to be my man.
They don’t want serious relationship but enjoy.

The other night I watched a movie about a girl. Sad thing none fiction.
She wanted to be with someone so he tried hard to be with them.
Even they treat her badly, really badly. But it is turned out not work.
Not that she is not pretty or something. She died alone in the street the way home.
What I felt was so don’t wasting time for meaningless thing.
Sometimes it is not work so don’t be harsh to myself to be with someone.
Also sometimes people die alone. It is ok. Better die alone than stay with jerk.
What I am saying is it is ok be yourself and by yourself for a while.
Niki it is ok being single. It will be not that long.
I am sure you can spend tired time with your children when you reach my age.
Now who have to cheer whom?

 

[niki_gal84]

Thats true it is just matter of time...to heal...and patient is the way out

thanks for sharing..

appreciate it..

 

[Enchantress]

Heey niki welcome =] And don't be sad.Life is full of letdowns but we need to learn to live past them or else we'll never have a moment's peace.Tough world ain't it? Suddenly I feel like I'm talking like my grandmother Hehe