Why is it that

[evanescencefan91]

ohh this thread fits right into the book I'm reading : blink by malcom gladwell; the power of thinking without thinking


it's all about making sublimal descions and thoughts.

well basically the problem

is the whole "taking the time to get to know someone" which is great but the problem is that it takes time

this probably won't help but it might help to understand

it takes a lot less time to see if someone is hot than to see if they are a good person.

And also subliminally people seem to associate good looks to positive personality attributes, such as kindness and intelligence ( from my social psyche class)

Also there's the whole self fullfing prophecy people who are treated pretty aren't soo depressed to wear old pajama bottoms in public they are also happier and more confident ergo hot, smiling makes someone seem more attractive than if they are frowning



I know you're pain though I feel insecure and frustrated by the sheer amount of work that it takes to be decent looking

*sighs* ( i have to get my eyebrow's waxed before school starts) *sighs* stupid crazy thin super trimmed eybrows obbsessed solceity

GAHH my eyebrows aren't even bushy


ahem I'm sorry point being pretty much what everyone has already said

you are awesome!!

Look can't get you everything

And also yesh!! Be CONFIDENT!! confidence is super sexy

and the more you believe that you are hot the hotter you will become

trust me

I mean seriously why do you think I'm always making jokes and statements about my fantbulous ass ( I mean besides the fact that it is fantabulous)

but because it makes me more confident to wear hot ass tight jeans that make my super fantabulous ass look super fantabulously hawt



and also dude, I don't really know all that much about other places in the world, but this isn't tv, from what I've found people really aren't all that mean. People don't walk away becuase someone looks unattractive, start a conversation with someone regardless of how you think you look ( which is great by the way keep reminding yourself that )

make a joke give someone a compliment ( which is always a great strategy, because then they always feel socially obligated to compliment you back (win win ))

and if you guys have similar interests in music and movies you'll have lot's to talk about ( annnd also the mere exposer effect states that the more time you spend around someone the more attractive you will appear to them and vice versa ( also from my ap psyche class ))

So if you have things to talk about and get along looks are no longer an issue



anyways I hope this helped a little and you are awesome! and super hot

 

[sadface]

GUYS LOL..

look at this, this just happened in the new members forum. I was joking and told some annoying guy I loved him, and this was the guys response

It`s really nice, thank you! But i`m a boy, and looks ur too!
How could u... and u don`t even know how i look..
****...

I feel like :club:

his response was not, "you don't even know me, you just met me!", its "YOU DONT KNOW HOW I LOOK"

 

[futurecatlady]

Oh wow, this topic really has wings!

As for the part of having a great personality to compensate, I do agree that personality can take you places, and even end up being more important than looks. It's just that I'M not the coolest, most interesting person ever. I'm not always fun or smiling or witty or kind. I'm not cultured or well-informed or super smart or talented. There are days when I try my best to be those things, and there are days when I fail. Because I'm not attractive, I need to be unique and wonderful and have this awesome personality that makes up for it all, but I can't. I can only be me. If only that were enough.

I do know that it makes perfect sense to want to be attracted to your mate, in light of evolutionary psychology, and I can deal with it most of the time. I just get all pouty and sad when it hits close to home. I don't mean to sound bitter, because I'm not. I'm just a little bit of a whiner at times. =)

 

[Badjedidude]

his response was not, "you don't even know me, you just met me!", its "YOU DONT KNOW HOW I LOOK"

That guy is a troll, he's here to have fun at our expense.

 

[Yukhi]

@futurecatlady

I'm pretty sure you'll find someone who'll love you for simply being you

 

[sadface]

his response was not, "you don't even know me, you just met me!", its "YOU DONT KNOW HOW I LOOK"

That guy is a troll, he's here to have fun at our expense.

he was fun

 

[iBreathe]

LMAO! =))

 

[QuietGuy]

A bit of Googling led me to this article: How people judge you by your appearance. Here's the part that stood out to me:

People we pass by in a crowded city will size us up and immediately form an idea in their head of whom they think we are in less than two seconds; often times, this idea is completely wrong, as many people judge solely on a few factors of a person's appearance.

The next time you pass someone on the street and immediately form an image of the person's life in your head, think long and hard about it. Why did you think that the person was a champion athlete? Why did you think she was a successful person? Why did you think this was someone you would want to spend your time with? By analyzing your own reaction to a person's appearance, you can train yourself to think more about a person before you judge him or her


Working in London, I see hundreds of strangers every week, on the train, on the underground, walking down the street. I'm ashamed to admit that I often find myself making involuntary instantaneous judgments of them, based solely on their appearance. It's a terrible thing to do, and I wish I could cut out that part of my brain responsible for it.

And it's terrible in all ways, even the apparently good ways. A couple of days ago, I was on the London underground, and on the opposite side of the carriage was an amazingly pretty girl. I'm talking amazingly pretty. She ticked all my shallow meaningless boxes - dark wavy hair, slightly shorter than me, dark eyes, plain yet beautiful face, with a slightly sad expression. I couldn't take my eyes off her, although I quickly looked away whenever she looked in my direction. In my eyes, she was absolutely stunning.

But after she got off the train at the next station, I began to question my judgment of her. I knew absolutely nothing about this girl. Her appearance told me absolutely nothing of any importance. My brain had been so occupied with giving her appearance a suitable rating on the scale of 1 to 10. She received a score of about 9.5, as if that was in the slightest bit important. My brain had drawn illogical and ridiculous conclusions without my consent: "Wow, imagine if she was my girlfriend! We'd have the best relationship in the world! I'd be the luckiest guy in the world! Other guys would look at me with burning jealousy in their eyes when I walk down the street holding hands with her!" I'm so ashamed that these shallow, stupid thoughts passed through my mind. And yet it's not my fault - this seems to be part of human nature, which saddens me even more.

The tendency to judge based on appearance is something that we all need to fight. Regardless of whether you're religious or not, Jesus' words have as much importance now as they ever did: "Judge not, that ye be not judged." "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment."

There's no much you can do about it but hope to find someone who isn't so shallow and doesn't think pretty = nice. And sometimes it works to lower you own standard of beauty, take the initiative, and approach someone you may not consider the most attractive person in the world. You might be surprised.

Great reply tehdreamer. It takes a lot of effort to "lower your own standard of beauty" in our society which is absolutely obsessed with impossibly beautiful Photoshopped models, but I think it's vital to make that effort.


I love quoting from The Little Prince - so much truth in that wonderful little book:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

The sweet girl I asked out to lunch today would not be considered the most attractive person in the world. (I know it sounds cruel to say that, but I just want to make the point.) But her personality is so lovely, so warm, so friendly, so gentle, so full of natural happiness, and that's all I think of when I think about her.


Nina - what a sweet story about your "geek-guy"


((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to everyone who's posted in this thread. Together, we'll show the world that your beautiful personalities are worth infinitely more than looks.

 

[Asterli]

A man's eye always is attracted to the beauty of woman. I won't deny it for myself but I like someone with a beautiful inside more. The cover doesn't say much.

Please, don't feel sorry for yourself. I notice that for me, a man, too when I see a good looking woman, from my point of view, walking over the street and I see just a stereotype guy walking beside her. A questionmark appears above my head but I keep thinking that I don't want to change anything about my appearance. I'm glad with who I am!

"They don't know what they are missing out of". You have to think in that kind of way.

Take care

 

[ShybutHi]

Yep you just cant tell, you might see a beautiful women walking along with a really quite ugly guy... she might be attracted to intellectuals and he could potentially be a genius. Looks are just a bonus to some people, its such a shame that so many people judge others on only their appearance. Thats probably why i dont have a gf... im not a model...

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

the point is of love is that you will think the person you are with is the most attractive in the world. period. if not, then it ain't love.

maybe i'm just old fashioned.

 

[sadface]

the point is of love is that you will think the person you are with is the most attractive in the world. period. if not, then it ain't love.

maybe i'm just old fashioned.

i dont think thats the POINT of love but i do think that it is true