In order to get the best answer from anyone, I feel its best to post all the information, so I apologise in advance if this is a long read.
Me and my ex boyfriend met at our workplace when we were 16. We stayed together for just under 3 years and in that time, went off to university together. This is where is began to go wrong. In our first year, things were perfect. I remember thinking ‘wow, I love this situation and love it even more that I get to do it with someone I love’. However in our second year, my boyfriend began to play an addictive computer game and that resulted in him neglecting our relationship. I obviously loved him to pieces still and accepted the fact he loved the game, so never asked for him to stop it completely. When his addictive was at its worse (looking back now, I don’t know if I was aware it was an addiction) I did ask him to cut down and put effort back into our relationship, but he just couldn’t break away from the gaming environment.
So in January 2008, I decided I deserved better and we broke up. At the time we were leaving together, along with our other university friends. Because we were living together, things didn’t end right away. We were still very close and it was obvious that we didn’t want to be separated but I wouldn’t think of another way of dealing with it because he just was not willing to change his gaming routine. Also my parents had interfered by texting him horrible things because they knew I was hurt. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for that because it was so unnecessary.
Once the tenancy came to an end, we all moved out and that was heartbreaking. Not seeing him on a daily basis took along time to get used to and I craved hearing from him. We kept in contact and met up on a few occasions over the summer. In the mean time he began a new relationship, which when I found out, hurt a lot.
Then in September I went back to university but he didn’t. He failed his year because of his gaming, so decided to just get a full time job. Being back at university helped me, but I still got so lonely. Contact between us both continued, with us talking over the phone every couple of weeks. This continued for months (September until last week) and a few times, we had text each other, both agreeing that we missed each other. He is still in the same relationship and they are engaged but only to show ‘commitment’.
So last week he came down to where I am at university to see his friend (my friend also) and we all met up for a few nights out. It was so nice to see him again; it didn’t feel like any time had passed since we last saw each. While he was here, we spoke a lot about the old times and he explained that he regrets getting addicted to the game (he doesn’t play anymore), because he knows that if it wasn’t for that, we would still be together. He also hinted that he would love to be together again but it’s difficult because he works with the person who he is with now and has things like a holiday planned with her.
It’s clearly obvious that neither of us have let go of our old feelings but what do we do? If have to worry about my parents going mad and he has to risk so much more. But do you let go of something that you know is good? Do you just let them be happy and hope that in the future I will find happiness again? I don’t know if I’ll ever love anyone again like I love him. Also if we tried again, could I bare the heartbreak again? I don’t want his girlfriend to feel this pain either but can he really love her if we have done and said the things we have?