Your first love

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

How long does it take to get over your first love? She is long gone from my life now and isn't coming back I still think about her sometimes daily when I'm trying to sleep or when I wake up...

I wanted to stay friends with her but she deleted me off facebook the only way of contacting her now is through last.fm. I know it was mostly my mistakes that lead to us breaking up but I still wonder if she still ever thinks about me.

Should I find someone new or just focus on my Uni work and wait for someone to be interested in me when I have a job and a more stable life (I've been through rough times lately which kind of led to the break up)

 

[Will8285]

I took me about 2 years I think. She meant a lot to me. I would say just focus on your uni work, I'm sure that's easier said than done.

 

[Sci-Fi]

In time you'll be able to move on from her. But if she really was your first love you'll never forget her. Focus on your University work right now, give yourself some time.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It differs from one person to another, depending on the situation. Agree with Sci-Fi, distract yourself with other things that you need to do. As they say, time heals all wounds. It'll take time, till then, distract yourself and focus on other important things - it'll help.

 

[Lady X]

Ergh, first loves...

I was 18, and it genuinely felt like my entire world was over.

Took me about a year or so before I dated again, but took me a fair few years to find "actual" love.

Now I'm 26, happily married and can look back with hindsight and see that that situation was never going to go the whole stretch anyway.

 

[perfanoff]

A year or two..

 

[el Jay]

It's been almost two years, and I'm still not over her. Despite that she was my worst relationship (though I've only had two), that she left me completely starved for affection and intimacy, and she wasted several years of the best years of my life (early-mid 20's) on an absolutely horrible and emotionally abusive relationship.

 

[Gutted]

It depends on your memory and lifestyle really. If you have a great memory, you'll probably remember all relationships with all people, as I do at times. But if you can keep busy and not think about people for too long, you'll be fine

 

[9006]

It depends, you should just try and get on with your life an not try to contact her, things will get better over time; time's the best healer.

 

[AiyanaS]

I'd suggest focusing on your UNI work, keeping yourself as busy as possible and waiting until you have a stable job or until someone comes along who is right for you. So basically, I suggest you should just focus on your life and working to develop and make yourself the best person you can be. Thats what I've done to get over this guy I liked a lot and I believe I'm a better, strong person than I was when I first met him.
There's this quote I once read that said "If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love".
I also heard you never really forget your first love, crush or girl/boyfriend, but life also has a weird way of working things out, so whats meant to be, happens.

 

[Misanthrope23]

at least you had a girlfriend!! what are you complaining about?? the first time i finally asked out someone i really liked, it was the most embarrassing moment. it took me 5 years just to ask out a person again, and no way i can do it in person. the two other times i tried failed too. all you people have it better off than me. i most likely am going to end up dying alone. i can barely step outside without feeling anxious. i ******* hate my life. i despise what life has made me, by intimidating me to feel like nothing but honeysuckle. and i hate all of you because all of have it better off and i'm NEVER lucky enough.

 

[AiyanaS]

at least you had a girlfriend!! what are you complaining about?? the first time i finally asked out someone i really liked, it was the most embarrassing moment. it took me 5 years just to ask out a person again, and no way i can do it in person. the two other times i tried failed too. all you people have it better off than me. i most likely am going to end up dying alone. i can barely step outside without feeling anxious. i ******* hate my life. i despise what life has made me, by intimidating me to feel like nothing but honeysuckle. and i hate all of you because all of have it better off and i'm NEVER lucky enough.

I can relate. Never been in a relationship either but you shouldn't hate people just because they've been lucky enough to end-up in a relationship. Try not to think about finding the right person and focus on what you enjoy, I know its hard, I struggle everyday with this, hopefully everything will work-out in time though.