Bettering ones-self

[Fustar]

I Always think I should be doing something with all the time I spend alone. I have for many years tired to become a better person. Always believing that becoming the man I have always pictured myself as would make a different to the state of loneliness I am in. However it always leaves me tired, mentally and physically. To the point were I no longer feel like doing anything. I feel as if it is a good thing, but it is starting to affect my sanity. I never feel I have done enough, or am enough. Does anyone feel this way? Does making yourself a better person really help in the end?

 

[5pt7art]

i spend alot of time alone...sometimes i dont realize it...until iam alone and i think about all this time i can have so many things to do...to better myself and to get out of this loneliness and depression...but like you ...im to the point where i dont want to do anything..and im going insane

 

[fox]

I do not think any person, who decides to work to become a better person, can ever really reach a point when they are done and nothing more to improve. If it is overwhelming to you, why not.. decide what things you think are most important, and then work on one at a time?

Also, what do you mean by a better person? I think to consider your motives is important.

 

[Lone Apothecary]

Yes, I've felt that way. From moment to moment I don't really notice, but when I look back at things in retrospect, I tend to feel guilty about how little progress I've made towards, well, anything. I don't think it hurts to try to improve yourself, but if you get too ambitious you may never measure up to your expectations. Emphasizing progress, no matter how little, is usually enough to keep me from giving up. Even then, I've given up on a fair share of self-improvement ideas.

 

[Fustar]

I do not think any person, who decides to work to become a better person, can ever really reach a point when they are done and nothing more to improve. If it is overwhelming to you, why not.. decide what things you think are most important, and then work on one at a time?

Also, what do you mean by a better person? I think to consider your motives is important.

I am already what people consider as a "good person". I help out whenever I can, I am never mean to others. I follow a very rigid moral code. By better person I mean smarter, as in the amount of useful knowledge I have. I also try to be as Physically fit as possible, however I have let that go lately because I have never looked like I am in good shape even when I was. Thats about it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think it is putting all that work into motion, instead of just working on it. Like fixing an engine, you'll never know if it works if all you do is work on it, you have to give it a try.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

I think it is putting all that work into motion, instead of just working on it. Like fixing an engine, you'll never know if it works if all you do is work on it, you have to give it a try.

That's very well said !

 

[IgnoredOne]

I try to become more marketable, as that means more money!

 

[Fustar]

I don't mean to sound as if I don't try new things, or test out new things I have learned. I play sports, and attend college so there is always something that makes me push myself. I just feel if I am not doing something in my alone time to push myself that I am wasting my time. It is hard for me to shut down so to speak.

 

[Milly]

Maybe I'm wrong here but I get the impression, from the way you're quite vague about what bettering yourself entails, that you're not totally sure what sort of improvement you want to make.

For instance, regarding the physical fitness thing, have you thought about entering a triathlon or 5k run or something like that? Then not only have you got a target to aim at, you've also got a very obvious way of measuring your achievement - something that's more tangible and objective than measuring your fitness by how your body looks when you take your top off.

There's something to be said for not overdoing things too - you can only do so much. Your average footballer might train for, say, 4 hours a day, because that's the optimum time. That footballer's not going to become twice as good if he starts training for 8 hours every day. You sound quite exhausted mentally and physically and maybe that's why.

 

[Fustar]

I have goals in mind. I'm going to be entering the Missouri Highway patrol academy right after I'm done with school. Its almost like Marine core boot camp, but it runs for 4 months. So there is that. Physically I just want to be in shape, don't really care about being ripped out or anything. My only problem is I don't know how to shut down and let my mind rest, I constantly think I should be doing something.

 

[JasonM]

Does making yourself a better person really help in the end?

Like everything else it all depends on your definitions. A better person for whom? Yourself or a better person the in the eyes of others?

I didn't notice you stating How you wanted to make yourself a better person. Learning or experiencing new things always helps me to find the passing of time fulfilling, small things.

Now I just need to get over to the library and pick up that book on origami.