Do you admit you're lonely?

[Nely Lo]

I'm saying that on internet, I don't know if that do me good or not.
I tell my friend sometimes and my mother, but I feel bad after that... Like after I say it it becomes more real, if I keep it to myself maybe it's not that bad, maybe it's just temporary...
But I think that loneliness is a part of me, that it's going to be with me forever, so why to tell somebody if they can't help me. I only annoy them.
I think that this sounds stupid and I'm not sure it's good for me, but...eh.

 

[dd11]

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

 

[ladyforsaken]

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

Some empathy or understanding, perhaps?

 

[Tealeaf]

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

I'd also assume understanding. People complain about their kids, their job, their food, and everything else in daily life. Just admitting that you don't have anyone to do things with on the weekends and are feeling lonely shouldn't be so bad next to that.

 

[ardour]

If you're a man, admitting you're lonely or unhappily single makes you look angry, bitter, dangerous maybe, someone people would rather not be around.

 

[tuna_the_best]

As you go about your daily life do you ever tell anybody how lonely you feel?
I am about as isolated as it's possible to be, at home every day alone and only leaving the house a couple of times a week for shopping.
I have family but they don't live near me so I rarely see them although I do talk to some of them on the phone occasionally but would never dream of saying how lonely I feel.
It seems, for me, to represent some kind of failure as a human to confess loneliness and I think there is a certain stigma attached to it.
Am I wrong to feel this way.............does anyone else feel this way too?

If I have learnt one thing Jently, it is to never tell anyone about your problems. They will either distance themselves from you or lose respect.

The only exceptions here are medical professionals or your parents.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'd also assume understanding. People complain about their kids, their job, their food, and everything else in daily life. Just admitting that you don't have anyone to do things with on the weekends and are feeling lonely shouldn't be so bad next to that.

I agree that it shouldn't be so bad next to that. But unfortunately, to most "normal" people, it is. I've found that even a fellow misfit can still judge you for showing social weakness.

If you're a man, admitting you're lonely or unhappily single makes you look angry, bitter, dangerous maybe, someone people would rather not be around.

Yes, I think you're right - especially when it comes to women you want to date. You don't want to give them reasons to reject you, you don't want to make them start thinking of you as a person of low status. Lots of people just aren't that enlightened that they don't care about status or "coolness", even if they seem like they would be. It's not that I like it, I really don't. But it's how most people think.

If I have learnt one thing Jently, it is to never tell anyone about your problems. They will either distance themselves from you or lose respect.

The only exceptions here are medical professionals or your parents.

I learned this one the hard way. You especially don't want to tell anyone you want to date, ANY of your insecurities or fears, and especially the insecurities or fears related to sex or dating. Not until you are actually in a relationship. Even then, I'd be careful.

 

[Saviour]

We should think about there's many people all around the world that needs help like food,parents,garmets and house.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

We should think about there's many people all around the world that needs help like food,parents,garmets and house.

Can't we do that *and* think on ways to improve upon our own issues?

 

[msbxa]

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

Some empathy or understanding, perhaps?

Yeah!

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

I'd also assume understanding. People complain about their kids, their job, their food, and everything else in daily life. Just admitting that you don't have anyone to do things with on the weekends and are feeling lonely shouldn't be so bad next to that.

Yeah!

Lots of people just aren't that enlightened that they don't care about status or "coolness", even if they seem like they would be. It's not that I like it, I really don't. But it's how most people think.

I agree very much that people who care about status and "coolness" are basically: not enlightened. They are basically feeble-minded. And yes it is how most people are unfortunately.

What is wrong with the world where you can't admit to being lonely... And people will thus think lower of you because of it. This is a sad thing. And it is not right.

 

[Danny]

I was thinking about this today. I feel the same way @Jently.

 

[SnglGrl2015]

To be honest, I am scared to admit to others that I am lonely. Its ok to be alone, but its another thing to be lonely. I am a virgin in my 30s, I never dated or been kissed, and my work shift doesn't end until 2am. So isolating myself from others is convenient for me, since I have a little bit of anxiety. I know my parents love me no matter what, but I feel like a huge failure. I am not married or having kids. I can't advise the girls in my family; I never had drama with a boyfriend. On bad days, I watch romance movies and have a good cry because at that moment I really don't feel like a woman. On good days, I am content with what I have and keep hope alive. So no, you cannot tell others because they will not understand you. Or worst, they will pity you. Instead of helping you, they distance themselves from this, lonely disease. I don't know why its so taboo, I mean not everyone can have a partner. I like to think that I will marry one day, and he will be the one to accept my inexperience.

 

[Miki]

^I disagree with you when you say "not everyone can have a partner," but of course, this is just my own belief. I believe there is someone for everyone. My aunt did not find a partner until she was in her late 50s, and before then, she never married or had kids. I'm not saying you won't find anyone until you're older. I'm just saying that you will find someone, it just takes time, and who knows, it could even be found right under your nose. I don't know why it's taboo because I don't consider it to be one, and I actually admire your innocence of having not been kissed or dated. I really do admire you. I started way too young.

Anyway, in my case, I don't know if what I'm feeling is loneliness or just sadness, but perhaps they are one in the same? I have a pretty good life but I just feel like something is missing, or perhaps I don't really feel complete happiness even though I should. So as of right now, I cannot admit that I'm lonely because I don't know if that is how I feel for sure, but perhaps in the future I may come back to this with a more definite answer.

 

[SlayGuy138]

I don't admit it; for me it's a fact of life. I'm lonely even in a crowded train station, and I absolutely hate it; sure I want to be "alone" a lot of the time but that's aide the point. The problem is that all I've known is people misinterpreting and defaming me. Lately I've been feeling like a product that somehow got off the assembly line defective; one that natural selection missed. All of the skills that were inborn to the rest of the population I lack.

 

[Iridescent]

I haven't until just recently, even to myself. Even though it's always been there I hate defeat. But it's hard and when you don't even know how to try and change it. It's not about the 'shame' for me.. I don't care what others think. I guess I've just always had that little bit of hope.. I'm either stubborn or stupid, don't know which anymore.

 

[BeyondShy]

I just got done telling someone in here how lonely I am. I feel better now that I did it.

 

[dd11]

I really don't know what is accomplished to tell people that anyway?

Some empathy or understanding, perhaps?

Perhaps. You might get that. They might feign understanding with an "oh you poor thing". That may also make them leery of you in the future as well or someone to kind of avoid. You might get sympathy in the moment. Most people will respond with sympathy verbally. And, there are indeed some kind people. But, again, what is it you are trying to accomplish? You aren't going to expand your social circle by telling people how lonely you are.

 

[matt4]

I don't go telling everyone. But I've found out just recently as I approach my birthday week... Just how alone I am. It's the worst feeling

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

I don't go telling everyone. But I've found out just recently as I approach my birthday week... Just how alone I am. It's the worst feeling

I know the feeling well, Matt. Hang in there! Plan now to do something special for just yourself. Work on a project or hobby you enjoy, treat yourself to a yummy meal or dessert you wouldn't normally buy, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Last bday, I bought a new phone so that took all day to figure out & bought a few nice game apps to play around with too. Maybe plan something with a family member or someone who will enjoy the day with you

Happy soon-to-be Birthday!

 

[stinky_cheese_dude]

Only my wife knows (and sort of understands). If people in work start talking about social activities, I just either ignore it or find something to occupy myself so I don't end up part of that discussion.

It both helps and doesn't help at the same time - it helps because I don't really want to admit my loneliness, my inability to have or even maintain a social circle (or social dot in my case) but also paradoxically I just want to rage and say I don't have a social life, so shut up about it. I often either lie or just underplay mondays when they ask 'How was your weekend?' because I probably did nothing.

Overall, I've never really admitted to people - but my contact with people is limited to wife and work colleagues (all 5 of them).