Do You Ever Think About People You've Met or Dated in the Past?

[Despicable Me]

I personally don't have that. It speaks to me that not all people in general are happy, but not specifically the ones that i have met in one form or another. That sounds to me like you partly blame yourself for not making more effort. Is that true?

Not exactly. I don't really blame myself for anything, I know there's nothing I could have done. It's more like a nostalgic feeling, or an "I wish I had a time machine to fix everything that has ever gone wrong" type of feeling.

Finding out that people from my past are doing well and are happy seems to make it go away. Finding out that someone isn't happy (or has died) makes me dwell on it for a long time.

Realistically and logically I know it is basically impossible for everyone to be happy, but try and tell that to my emotions. Those guys never listen to me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Not exactly. I don't really blame myself for anything, I know there's nothing I could have done. It's more like a nostalgic feeling, or an "I wish I had a time machine to fix everything that has ever gone wrong" type of feeling.

Wanting to have a time machine to go back and fix things means regret....which, in turn, means that you do, on some level blame yourself for things, at least partially. Which, you are to blame for part of it, as no one person is to blame for every single thing.

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As for the thread, yes, I think about people I've dated. I don't want to date them again, but the few I think about, I would like to have back in my life again, as a friend because we were very close.

 

[Despicable Me]

Wanting to have a time machine to go back and fix things means regret....which, in turn, means that you do, on some level blame yourself for things, at least partially. Which, you are to blame for part of it, as no one person is to blame for every single thing.

If someone, who wasn't even conceived yet during World War 2, wanted to go back in time and prevent WW2, does it mean they somehow blame themselves for WW2?
There is literally not a single thing they could have done to prevent it themselves, so where would this 'blame' even come from?

Again, I don't really think I'm blaming myself. If I were it would have to be really subconscious and not make any logical sense why I'd be doing that.

 

[howtobealone]

I wonder if romantic longing always needs to fix itself on an object, and if nothing exists in the present then the mind turns to the past. That seems to be how it is for me, at least.

I ended something with a woman two months ago. And for the longest time I would come across old work notes (that had nothing to do with her) with dates on them, and think, we were together when I made this work note, I'd give anything to go back to that time. Or, we were about to meet a week after I made this note. Or, this is when she loved me the most. And I'd feel bad when I came across notes that were made when we were arguing, when we had our last conversation ever. But now I'm finally done with wishing I could go back to the past and I'm looking forward to the future.

 

[Aisha]

Not with regret. Gratitude that I met them, certainly. Qué será, será.

 

[matt4]

Sofiasmami and howtobealone I've experienced what you describe above.

Most it's just a longing for the kiss, or the desire a date/someone had for me in the past. Sometimes its the intimate stuff like being close to them. I want to feel desired again because I haven't felt it much in my life. I recall things a few years back like 5 years or so and it irritates me.

I need to get out dating more. It's something I've committed too and I'm trying to do so online now.

 

[ardour]

^ For me as well, more than i should, that is. Whenever i feel down i usually start reflecting and dwelling on the past, notably people from the past. The great people i have met and how i lost them. So by now, when i catch myself thinking of these select people again more than normally, i know there's something going on and i need to fix it.

Yes, same here. I haven't had any romantic relationships, but as for friends/acquaintances who've come and gone, I used to think about that all the time,what they're up to, if they think of me, all the associated regrets.

Now I see it for what it often is: a sign of depression, something not right, and I better sort it out quickly or life is going to take a nosedive.

It's not easy when you work in the same building as a couple of these people though.

 

[Peaches]

thinking about my ex a lot these days, and all memories end with the thought: wow, I really regret having met him -
I pray to god that I never do anything to inspire the same feelings to anyone

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Yes, absolutely....

 

[Eternitydreamer]

Yes...I have a bad habit of never getting over people

 

[Niantiel]

Not specifically, but sometimes I'll catch a show or movie or something like that which triggers the thought of them. It doesn't bother me anymore though. I usually deal with my problems pretty head-on, or try to, so that I don't end up tortured for years on end by my own thoughts. I prefer for the whole shitstorm to happen at once and then be done with it. My ex's are like my distant platonic friends now. I talk to them rarely however, just, because our lives are different and its been so long and what have you about it.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Yes. Especially on their birthdays

 

[Zook]

ALL THE TIME!!!

I never let go. Even if I don't necessarily want the exes back, I just can't stop thinking about them and even worrying about them. Hoping they're okay and that I wished we could talk.

The frustrating thing is, I have made my life very busy and exciting these days and it's only slightly eased these stupid irrational thoughts.

I've been thinking about ex girlfriends ever since I started having girlfriends. I'm sure they don't think about me much.

 

[Aisha]

More often these days. Saw someone for the first time in years recently and now it feels like I see them everywhere. IIt's a little exasperating.

 

[TheDude76]

I sometimes think about men I've met and known only briefly and wonder what happened to them. And, worse, I wonder if they are thinking about me.

I tend to ruminate. I always wonder if I could have done anything differently, but usually I just felt no connection when we met. I can say that several women I've dated over the years are now married, so if you're hoping for "till death do us part", date me. If history is any indicator, you'll meet someone you match up with perfectly shortly afterwards!

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I think about people who used to be close friends. I often wonder how they're doing or how/where things took a wrong turn. Granted, the severance of ties was usually for the best, so just because I miss them doesn't mean I'll immediately jump at the chance to reenter their lives.

 

[KTMChristian]

Hahaha God!! All the time!!! When life's going nowhere the ghosts overwhelm and smother!!! I try alcohol to subdue the past but the past is like a fish hook in my hand, it's not going away!!!! Age and memories, a killer every time, avoid at all cost!

 

[Mick Travis]

I think about all those people with whom I've had a brief connection. A guy I bonded with for a month told me that our type can do more damage if we split up. Honestly, I've never understood that.

I'm doing a good job of forgiving the other people who live in my head. I had a dream recently which helped me forgive my mother.

 

[Mick Travis]

I'm not comfortable with dwelling on the past but I can't seem to help it lately.

Memories make our lives "bigger". It's nice that your brain has gone into analysis mode without you paying a shrink to say, "I think we've made real progress today. Pay me again next week."

 

[WrongDecision]

I saw few posted on here that thinking about an X just means you're life is missing something or that you're unhappy. Ding Ding Ding As Apollo Creed says in Rocky IV haha

I think about one particular X all the time. Because her and I had such a good connection but due to some circumstances we were unable to connect and life passed us both way leading us to our own way. I always wonder what life would have been had things worked out? I always think how she's doing or what she's up to? All these thoughts in my head of what if.....? Are all true signs of my current life I call wrong decision. I truly hope your thoughts are not related or the same. But, somewhere along the line there has to be a part of you that also thinks what if.... If that's the case well I guess we have to look at our present life and think how can we make it right.