T
thelonegamer
Guest
I feel exactly what I wrote up there.
Everyone out there is having fun and doing things, but not me. I fail every time I try to gather a social encounter. The only time it works is when I'm paying stuff.
It's like people monitor me. It's like they wait for me to leave the room to glow all that social fun. But not until I leave. It's like everyone else are better off without me, as if I didn't existed I wouldn't make any difference.
I always have to prove myself to others in order to gain some sort of...let's say attention or recognition.
*here comes the awkward part of it* Every one in this forum gets someone to interact with because they find them interesting and not because they've been begging for it for a long time. Not exactly everyone but you get the point.
I seriously don't know what is wrong. I am like the smartest person around in many but not all terms of the word, I'm like in the top 15 let's say handsomest dudes in the whole town, I don't listen to crap, I read, I watch awesome stuff, constructive stuff, I don't talk about people nor events but of ideas, I write, speak, pronounce 99 percent gramatically correct in both English and Portuguese.
What is the matter with me? Maybe it's because I'm an hypocrite and false and not integral.
But almost everyone is hypocrite and false and not integral but yet they have almost everything and I have nothing.
Every day is a battle. I have come to a point where nothing makes sense anymore, maybe that's when someone starts to become maniac and starts talking to themselves in public.
Maybe I am just nuts and everyone else is normal.
I've always been/felt excluded, ever since I was a kid. And all my actions from then has been motivated because of that feeling. I remember when I was 5 or 6, I'd wake up at midnight and stare at the moon thinking and thinking the exact same way you think now, not as a normal 5-year-old, and I'd think like 'when I grow up, this and that' and some of the stuff I've thought actually happened.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not normal.
This whole text makes no sense to no one. If it does to you then that's awesome
I feel the urge to write and write about how I feel. But I can't. It'd be just a long ass text from a deppressed teenager in the midst of the chaos in the internet.
I feel lonely, not alone. But yet who cares?
Everyone out there is having fun and doing things, but not me. I fail every time I try to gather a social encounter. The only time it works is when I'm paying stuff.
It's like people monitor me. It's like they wait for me to leave the room to glow all that social fun. But not until I leave. It's like everyone else are better off without me, as if I didn't existed I wouldn't make any difference.
I always have to prove myself to others in order to gain some sort of...let's say attention or recognition.
*here comes the awkward part of it* Every one in this forum gets someone to interact with because they find them interesting and not because they've been begging for it for a long time. Not exactly everyone but you get the point.
I seriously don't know what is wrong. I am like the smartest person around in many but not all terms of the word, I'm like in the top 15 let's say handsomest dudes in the whole town, I don't listen to crap, I read, I watch awesome stuff, constructive stuff, I don't talk about people nor events but of ideas, I write, speak, pronounce 99 percent gramatically correct in both English and Portuguese.
What is the matter with me? Maybe it's because I'm an hypocrite and false and not integral.
But almost everyone is hypocrite and false and not integral but yet they have almost everything and I have nothing.
Every day is a battle. I have come to a point where nothing makes sense anymore, maybe that's when someone starts to become maniac and starts talking to themselves in public.
Maybe I am just nuts and everyone else is normal.
I've always been/felt excluded, ever since I was a kid. And all my actions from then has been motivated because of that feeling. I remember when I was 5 or 6, I'd wake up at midnight and stare at the moon thinking and thinking the exact same way you think now, not as a normal 5-year-old, and I'd think like 'when I grow up, this and that' and some of the stuff I've thought actually happened.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not normal.
This whole text makes no sense to no one. If it does to you then that's awesome
I feel the urge to write and write about how I feel. But I can't. It'd be just a long ass text from a deppressed teenager in the midst of the chaos in the internet.
I feel lonely, not alone. But yet who cares?