Well considering I've already bothered half the forum in chat with all this trash and I'm sure there's many other threads exactly like this, this probably won't be a shock to any of you. I'd just appreciate if you could bare with me while I *****...some more.
I find myself constantly yearning for a girlfriend, the last serious relationship I had was 4 years ago. We date for a year then broke up for a month then went out again for 11, so we were basically together for 2 years. It was probably the happiest I've ever been, we were convinced it was love, even though I'm not so sure now, all I know is I've never felt like that before and haven't since. I pissed my chance away with this girl by being selfish, cheating and ignoring her to use drugs, since then I've cleaned up and I like to tell myself that the next relationship will be different. I won't put myself over her, I'll be caring and kind etc. The problem is I just haven't had another chance.
Now, she's coming back for the weekend and we are suppose to hangout on sunday. She has been in a bad relationship, with a guy who was (apparently) even more controlling then I was to her. We've talked on MSN the last few nights and talked about how it was and how much we miss each other. She's even taken it as far as flirting, and me doing the same back. I'm extremely nervous of when she comes down, because I'm afraid of afterwards what will happen. Will she even keep in touch? We most likely won't ever date again, but once she's gone it's like the last hope for me.
I know there's always new people to meet but I just can't seem to find them. Last summer another girl and I had fooled around while she was in town. She went home for a year and is now back for the summer. We've hung out a couple times, going to the movies and walking (working out nothing romantic) and I now realize she doesn't like me as more than a friend anymore..maybe she never did. So there's no hope with her left, she doesn't even call me when she says she will and seems reluctant to hang out when I call.
There was still people who cared about me and wanted to be friends when I sobered up but I seem to have thrown away my chance with them as well. They used to call me all the time saying we should hang out and there would be no drugs but I would decline because I couldn't believe they could have a good time with getting messed up. I've hung out with them once, maybe about 3 months ago or something and it went well but decided I didn't want to the next weekend so they have stopped calling me since. I'm constantly not attending family related events because I feel like such a loser, I'm convinced I can find someone who cares about me outside of my family.
I'm only 22 years old and not even anti-social. I get along well with people in the real world, even made a friend at work that always suggests we should hang out but never gives me her number..I just feel like there's something about me that's simply not good enough, I know I'm caring, most people find me funny and I think I would be able to make a good friend now if given the chance, but for whatever reason it just doesn't work.
I can't even seem to succeed on the internet with making friends. I've been in chat for about a week and already got on peoples bad sides, made someone feel uncomfortable by trying to make the relationship more than friends and still find myself simply not fitting in. I just feel like the only reason these people are nice to me is because they are so caring and don't want to hurt my feelings and if this wasn't a loneliness forums chat, they would all tell me to fresia off.
I called my older cousin to hang out tonight but she was already back home. She lives 20 minutes of of town and was just returning back to work after being injured in a car accident so she declined to go see a movie with me. I called the second girl mentioned in this post to hang out but she's apparently doing homework even though I don't think she would want to hang out anyway. Those were really the only people left I had to call so I figured I could chat with some folks on here...but no, chat is completely empty, one person even joined and left quickly before saying anything to me. I just feel really lonely right now and needed to vent for the 100th time since joining. Thanks for your time.
I find myself constantly yearning for a girlfriend, the last serious relationship I had was 4 years ago. We date for a year then broke up for a month then went out again for 11, so we were basically together for 2 years. It was probably the happiest I've ever been, we were convinced it was love, even though I'm not so sure now, all I know is I've never felt like that before and haven't since. I pissed my chance away with this girl by being selfish, cheating and ignoring her to use drugs, since then I've cleaned up and I like to tell myself that the next relationship will be different. I won't put myself over her, I'll be caring and kind etc. The problem is I just haven't had another chance.
Now, she's coming back for the weekend and we are suppose to hangout on sunday. She has been in a bad relationship, with a guy who was (apparently) even more controlling then I was to her. We've talked on MSN the last few nights and talked about how it was and how much we miss each other. She's even taken it as far as flirting, and me doing the same back. I'm extremely nervous of when she comes down, because I'm afraid of afterwards what will happen. Will she even keep in touch? We most likely won't ever date again, but once she's gone it's like the last hope for me.
I know there's always new people to meet but I just can't seem to find them. Last summer another girl and I had fooled around while she was in town. She went home for a year and is now back for the summer. We've hung out a couple times, going to the movies and walking (working out nothing romantic) and I now realize she doesn't like me as more than a friend anymore..maybe she never did. So there's no hope with her left, she doesn't even call me when she says she will and seems reluctant to hang out when I call.
There was still people who cared about me and wanted to be friends when I sobered up but I seem to have thrown away my chance with them as well. They used to call me all the time saying we should hang out and there would be no drugs but I would decline because I couldn't believe they could have a good time with getting messed up. I've hung out with them once, maybe about 3 months ago or something and it went well but decided I didn't want to the next weekend so they have stopped calling me since. I'm constantly not attending family related events because I feel like such a loser, I'm convinced I can find someone who cares about me outside of my family.
I'm only 22 years old and not even anti-social. I get along well with people in the real world, even made a friend at work that always suggests we should hang out but never gives me her number..I just feel like there's something about me that's simply not good enough, I know I'm caring, most people find me funny and I think I would be able to make a good friend now if given the chance, but for whatever reason it just doesn't work.
I can't even seem to succeed on the internet with making friends. I've been in chat for about a week and already got on peoples bad sides, made someone feel uncomfortable by trying to make the relationship more than friends and still find myself simply not fitting in. I just feel like the only reason these people are nice to me is because they are so caring and don't want to hurt my feelings and if this wasn't a loneliness forums chat, they would all tell me to fresia off.
I called my older cousin to hang out tonight but she was already back home. She lives 20 minutes of of town and was just returning back to work after being injured in a car accident so she declined to go see a movie with me. I called the second girl mentioned in this post to hang out but she's apparently doing homework even though I don't think she would want to hang out anyway. Those were really the only people left I had to call so I figured I could chat with some folks on here...but no, chat is completely empty, one person even joined and left quickly before saying anything to me. I just feel really lonely right now and needed to vent for the 100th time since joining. Thanks for your time.
