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IndigoSpace

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I'm very down today so it's not a good way to introduce myself. Grateful for finding this site.

I live on my own, in my forties, I think the world has gone mad. No one has any time for anyone anymore. I'm a busy person so I understand about not having much time, but I'm still polite to people, etc.

I phoned up a friend for a chat. He works for himself. He hardly had time to talk. We talked for ten minutes, but it was all about him. He got inpatient as soon as I started telling him about my day, saying how little time he's got. He did say though that everyone is computer crazy and don't talk to their neighbours anymore.

I don't even know what I'm saying right now, I'm so alone, nearly all the time. I know lots of people but none of them behave in a way I would consider 'normal' socially.

For example my girl friends.....they never phone, never invite me over for a BBQ on a sunny day, never really want to meet for coffee.....but they love getting my advice online when something goes wrong (and I give it because it's a chance to have someone to talk to)

My family, they live far away but regularly travel to my area to go camping. It never occurs to them to give me a call and suggest I drive over to their campsite for a chat one evening, or meet them somewhere. I'm an easy going person, I've been told many times and I do believe it, I'm not a difficult person to be around. When I tell people how things are they don't understand because they say I'm no trouble, I'm a nice person, never outstay a welcome or anything....

*sigh*

I chose living alone, but I didn't realise people would be so hard to come by as I got older. Also I had a major bereavement a few years ago.......

That's another story. It's as though some of the people that should care about this just don't.

Sorry to be such an Eeyore, lol. I promise I can be fun as well, I have a good sense of humour and I am good at helping others. I can often live really happily and positively on my own. Usually that happens once I resolve not to talk to anyone for a while (because like my friend above, their insensitivity upsets me and brings me down). Then my mood lifts and I start doing all the good stuff that's also possible when you are alone. Writing poetry is one, I'm also in the middle of a book, or just enjoying my space.

Thanks for listening. I look forward to 'meeting' you all :)
 
IndigoSpace said:
I'm very down today so it's not a good way to introduce myself. Grateful for finding this site.

I live on my own, in my forties, I think the world has gone mad. No one has any time for anyone anymore. I'm a busy person so I understand about not having much time, but I'm still polite to people, etc.

I phoned up a friend for a chat. He works for himself. He hardly had time to talk. We talked for ten minutes, but it was all about him. He got inpatient as soon as I started telling him about my day, saying how little time he's got. He did say though that everyone is computer crazy and don't talk to their neighbours anymore.

I don't even know what I'm saying right now, I'm so alone, nearly all the time. I know lots of people but none of them behave in a way I would consider 'normal' socially.

For example my girl friends.....they never phone, never invite me over for a BBQ on a sunny day, never really want to meet for coffee.....but they love getting my advice online when something goes wrong (and I give it because it's a chance to have someone to talk to)

My family, they live far away but regularly travel to my area to go camping. It never occurs to them to give me a call and suggest I drive over to their campsite for a chat one evening, or meet them somewhere. I'm an easy going person, I've been told many times and I do believe it, I'm not a difficult person to be around. When I tell people how things are they don't understand because they say I'm no trouble, I'm a nice person, never outstay a welcome or anything....

*sigh*

I chose living alone, but I didn't realise people would be so hard to come by as I got older. Also I had a major bereavement a few years ago.......

That's another story. It's as though some of the people that should care about this just don't.

Sorry to be such an Eeyore, lol. I promise I can be fun as well, I have a good sense of humour and I am good at helping others. I can often live really happily and positively on my own. Usually that happens once I resolve not to talk to anyone for a while (because like my friend above, their insensitivity upsets me and brings me down). Then my mood lifts and I start doing all the good stuff that's also possible when you are alone. Writing poetry is one, I'm also in the middle of a book, or just enjoying my space.

Thanks for listening. I look forward to 'meeting' you all :)
Click to expand...

It appears that many people's true desires (social interaction, food, sex, pursuit of hobbies/interests) are being willingly suppressed. My best guess is that it's due to some unproductive values, or values taken too far, that we're instilled by parents or other authority figures earlier in life. For example, parents will stress the importance of getting good grades, going to college, getting a job, not being "lazy," (I put it in quotation marks because I find the term is often used to describe someone who uses their energy efficiently rather than just someone who doesn't do anything even if they need to) ect. But things like communicating with others, furthering interests, and generally having fun, are considered to be secondary goals. It creates a sort of "hoarding" attitude, where people will live their lives to obtain wealth, not obtain wealth to live their lives. I find this ridiculous.

Funny that I just wrote that whole thing without knowing if you agree, disagree, or care about anything I just wrote. Anyway, welcome :D .
 
Hi and welcome!
I can relate to a lot that you have said....actually, I can relate to a lot of what people have shared on this site...lol.
I do find it is harder to make and keep friends as I'm getting older. I am lucky to have 2 good friends that I see from time to time.
 
Welcome, and I can relate to some of what you said as well.
 
[/quote]

It appears that many people's true desires (social interaction, food, sex, pursuit of hobbies/interests) are being willingly suppressed. My best guess is that it's due to some unproductive values, or values taken too far, that we're instilled by parents or other authority figures earlier in life. For example, parents will stress the importance of getting good grades, going to college, getting a job, not being "lazy," (I put it in quotation marks because I find the term is often used to describe someone who uses their energy efficiently rather than just someone who doesn't do anything even if they need to) ect. But things like communicating with others, furthering interests, and generally having fun, are considered to be secondary goals. It creates a sort of "hoarding" attitude, where people will live their lives to obtain wealth, not obtain wealth to live their lives. I find this ridiculous.

Funny that I just wrote that whole thing without knowing if you agree, disagree, or care about anything I just wrote. Anyway, welcome :D .
[/quote]

Hi Crux!

I do care about what you've written and that you took the time to write it :)

I agree with everything you say. I have one girlfriend who will only do things that are really cheap to do, which is pretty much nothing. At one time a group of us would meet up, but no one would ever want to go out to eat because of the cost...and it didn't have to be an expensive restaurant, just a coffee shop or something...but instead they had this thing about meeting at each other's homes all the time because of the cost. It was ok, but I personally thought it was really tight. None of the people I'm talking about had low incomes, in fact I had the lowest out of all of them and I could afford it. Yes, hanging onto money.

I remember asking someone if she wanted to go to a music concert, at £15, and was told it's 'too much.' I am not talking about someone on a low income here. How do I know, I know the jobs they do and the holidays they have, etc.

Today I could go out and chat to people, there are people around that I know, but I find most people just want to sit about. I like sharing interests with people, but It's finding the right people.

Thanks for commenting and for the empathy. I don't expect people to agree with me all the time, but it's nice when someone considers what is said :)

jjessea said:
Welcome, and I can relate to some of what you said as well.
Click to expand...

Thanks jjessea!

dawningday said:
Hi and welcome!
I can relate to a lot that you have said....actually, I can relate to a lot of what people have shared on this site...lol.
I do find it is harder to make and keep friends as I'm getting older. I am lucky to have 2 good friends that I see from time to time.
Click to expand...

Thanks dawningday! Yes I can relate to a lot of things people say here, lol. I don't think it's us, I think it's the world. of course it can be a bit of both, but I think there's a lot of lonely people in the world. They just don't speak about it.

guardian said:
Welcome and you are right: the World has gone mad...:p'sept for us...:cool:
Click to expand...

Hi guardian! Yes except for us! :D

Hi Everyone

and thankyou for the welcomes!! I look forward to chatting with you more :)
 

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