how can i tell a shy guy is into me??

[bathen11]

Hey guys,
Sooo I met this guy a little over a year ago, and I thought he was cute, I met him at my gym He works there as one of the instructor in there...
Anyway, I kind of notice that he was looking at me a lot, and never coming up to me and I just didn't pay much attention to it... and than he got a little courage and start talking to me little by little, long story short we ended up going out once, and we really clicked we were ending up kissing that night which it was really good, so on Monday when I went back to the gym he came up to me and gave me hug and was really happy to see me, but me I'm a shy girl so I took a step back from him, so he was trying and being nice and talking to me but I got little scared...
So time passed by and nothing happened between us, we even got to the point that we ignore each other, I was ready to give up until one girl at the gym came to randomly and asked me if we have something for each other,I never mentioned anything to her... now I got a little confused with him because one time He texted me and asked me if I want to go out to some bar and I agreed but than he never texted me back which I thought it was sooo weird!
After that I took a step back from him... but every time I go to the gym he will not stop looking at me and if I catch him he will turn his head away randomly he would Oh come up to me and start talking to me about random stuff, and he talk so fast and change subject like crazy... so after me getting sick of being confused I went up to him and asked him if he liked me? He said yes and that he would love to hang out And see where things going... and we were talking for like 45 minutes after that, We were busy that weekend so we didn't made plans... now all week I see him he keep looking at me a lot, and he also love teasing me... so the next Friday he texts me and asked me for my plans, but we didn't meet because it didn't worked out, I saw him the next day we were talking for a bit, and he asked me for my plans during the day, than he was telling me about his plan, but not inviting me.... we couldn't meet
Saturday night Because we were busy...
so, we saw each other on Monday again he didn't stop looking at me but he never came up to me to talk, than on Thursday before I left he came up to me and he rarely turned his whole body just to touch my elbow and told me with a big smile on his face see you later, but than I didn't hear nothing from him this weekend... but I'm. Like super confused, does he like me??? I mean I went out of my way talked to him and asking him how he feel, I just don't know What else should I do?? I like him but he's very confusing and I'm not sure he like me... guy please help!!!

 

[hbkdx12]

Short answer...you both seem to be beating around the bush and confusing each other and giving mixed signals

If you really want to get to the bottom of the situation, rather then talking about all the times that you guys can't hang out, tell him exactly what day your available and what you'd like to do (dinner, movie, etc) and see if he'll join you. Be direct. Direct questions lead to the most direct answers. If he's available and interested, he'll accept and stick to it. If he's unavailable on that day but still interested, he'll make you a counter offer--ON THE SPOT. Something to the effect of "I'm not free friday night but how about Saturday afternoon?"

If he says something to the effect "I'll let you know" or "I'm not sure. I have to check my schedule" I'd say let it go.

 

[bathen11]

But I went out my way and talked to him asking him if he like me?? He said yes and that he would like hanging out but it didn't worked out... for me I automatically think he is lying to me.... but I guess I'm just scared to get rejected....
Do you think he like me??

 

[hbkdx12]

The thing is, if someone likes you, they show initiative especially if they know the other person likes them. If he's not showing any initiative other than just telling you what you want to hear then you already have your answer

 

[bathen11]

But than Why would He keep on looking at me and than he get all nervous around me? I see him not knowing whether he should come up to me and talk to me??
Idk I'm just confused, it looks like he's interested but at the same time he is acting weird and say silly stuff, idk if he's really scared or he's Just not interested? But than Why does He keep looking at me and turn his head away When I catch him? And why he he seems so nervous around me?

 

[user 9172]

He likes you. You like him. Don't ask him if he likes you... you tell him you like him. He's obviously the most shy of you both so you need to be the one to make yourself vulnerable first. Don't even expect him to say it back if you do tell him, because he might still be too afraid of making his feelings known. Just accept that he likes you and be patient with him.

Would not be surprised if he is quite insecure (yes, men can be insecure too.)

 

[bathen11]

Thanks Dave! Yea when I asked him if he like me he said Yes, but I guess shy guys are slow? The funny thing about him that sometimes he's quite and sometimes he talk so much and so fast in 5 minutes conversation he will talk about 5 different subjects.... do you think I should ask him out? I'm just scared to get rejected I guess

 

[user 9172]

Sounds like he's nervous when he talks like that? I really think you should ask him out. Hope it works out!

 

[bathen11]

Yea he's I think, and he also move around a lot .... I'm going to try and do it, I'm nervous too...
Thanks so much for your help!! I honestly thought that he didn't like me and I was imagining stuff in my head!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well....if you open up and let him inside of you< you might find out for yourself.
Its a sensitive subject...i know.

 

[bathen11]

What exactly do You mean??? I did opened up to him... I'm scared too...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ive been asked out by serveral women. It has to be like that for us guys sometime.
My ex-wf asked me out straight up...I had lots of girls chased me in HS.
Heck..some of them even gave me rides home, walk home with me,
hang out during lunch with me or wanna go hang out in my
room, go studying..etc...etc.

Even later on in life...I still have lots of women pursue me.
Hints after hints after hints...I still dont respon because of the BS that gose in my head.
Whats running through my head is...she's too good for me.

This is my record or pattern....
Every women that Ive had long term realtionship with asked me out.

So yeah...i had to be lead by my hands by women.
Even when I lost my virginity...She too pursuited me and had to lead me or held my hands into the bed room.
It took me over a week even after having sex with her before I began to mellow out.
These are all beautiful Women...So yeah..your probably cute N good looking.
Im not suggesting you have sex or any of that....
Im just saying some of us guys are still innocent little boys. it dosnt matter how old we are.

Becuase us guys are hard wired to your looks..its not that we dont care or dont have feelings...
Its just when we get around beautiful women or women that were attracted to...our body and mind
gose hay wire sometimes. So we're trying to behave or too busied not trying to look like a fool.
The best we can do sometimes is to just sit still....So we dont pursuit you back or spond.
We get tounge twisted, sweat and scared.
Then after you leave out of our site. Were beating our heads against the wall telling ourselve...
fresia...fresia...fresia. why didnt i ask her, have the balls or say something..stuff like that.
I hope that makes sense.

Guys are afraid of you.....just read on some of the post dudes writes on here.

 

[Ghost Boy]

Both of you are just very shy people and this type of thing might be new to you both. The reason why he's so nervous around you is because he likes you a lot. One of you needs to take the initiative, directly ask the other one out and set up a date that's good for both of your schedules. Seeing how he might be the most shy, it's most likely going to have be you.

 

[bathen11]

Thanks guys!!! I honestly didn't know guys think this way!!! I know I get this way a lot, and let me tell you when I don't like someone I have no problem tell them no, but when it's get to someone I like, I act like I don't like him, I guess I'm too scared!
but, do you guys really believe that he like me and he's just scared?? Even though we both kind of know that we like each other? Like do you think he still doubt him self?? And oh yea the other day, I saw him at the gym, I was talking to his friend which he's working there too and some other girl, he came outside the office, mumble something to the other guy and than he gave me hug and kiss, but he didn't even looked at me and I was like wtf?! He doesn't like me... is that normal?!
And somedays we both looking at each other across the room, and kind of not knowing what to do..... I with all honesty never been so confused with one guy... but thanks guys I like hearing other guys opinions, Really helps!!!