I need a female companion

[Vladimir Putin]

I used to have friends when I was younger. But for reasons I don't want to get in to, I never had a girlfriend. I did go to parties sometimes as a teenager and got outside and eye flirted with girls in cafés with them flirting back. I "even" kissed two girls, but cause of shyness I never approached them and been on a date.

And now here I am. In my early 20's and never had a girlfriend. I have no friends now and I never go out. And I really feel that I need a girlfriend. Not for losing my virginity/having sex. But to be a complete person and having a full life, being a whole man.

And I don't know what to do... What should I do?

 

[It was Mine]

Well, for me I'm in my early 20's. as well. we still have youth! and there are a lot of girls still not married with kids. Although many single mothers. I don't think I would jump right into that boat. Now I faced the no friends thing. And where do you go when you have that? I was not about to sit at the bar on my own. So, here's what I did/Am doing.

I started going to the gym, lost weight, and feel great almost everyday now. I always hated that low energy/unhealthy feeling. I work a full time job, and even at work sometimes hard to make friends. So, I looked into night courses offered. Currently I took a small motors course, and am now in a welding course. Now of course there are no girls but so far a great bunch of guys and it's good to socialize. Honestly, you'll laugh but, I walked by a interior decorating class and it was a sea of women! I'm not sure how much the course cost I'm sure not more than 300$ but man. I'm strongly considering. School is where to be.

Beyond that sports, I REALLY want to try boxing, more for the endurance training. I'm not sure if i could hack it, but **** it i'd love to try. maybe you have something like that you would be into?

I tried E harmony for awhile, went on dates but nothing ever came of it. Sad but true fact is I was more feminine than half these women, facial hair and all ha. Don't get me wrong though there were some great lookers with what seemed to be great personalities to boot. The kicker was they just wouldn't talk to me ha oh well, all you can do is try.

 

[Vladimir Putin]

Well, for me I'm in my early 20's. as well. we still have youth! and there are a lot of girls still not married with kids. Although many single mothers. I don't think I would jump right into that boat. Now I faced the no friends thing. And where do you go when you have that? I was not about to sit at the bar on my own. So, here's what I did/Am doing.

I started going to the gym, lost weight, and feel great almost everyday now. I always hated that low energy/unhealthy feeling. I work a full time job, and even at work sometimes hard to make friends. So, I looked into night courses offered. Currently I took a small motors course, and am now in a welding course. Now of course there are no girls but so far a great bunch of guys and it's good to socialize. Honestly, you'll laugh but, I walked by a interior decorating class and it was a sea of women! I'm not sure how much the course cost I'm sure not more than 300$ but man. I'm strongly considering. School is where to be.

Beyond that sports, I REALLY want to try boxing, more for the endurance training. I'm not sure if i could hack it, but **** it i'd love to try. maybe you have something like that you would be into?

If you're taking a course in home decoration you better tell people you're not gay. Like when you present yourself for the first time you should say: "My name is X, and I just ended a relationship with my ex-girlfriend..."

But taking courses does seem to be a good way to go. But I don't remember how you get friends..

I tried E harmony for awhile, went on dates but nothing ever came of it. Sad but true fact is I was more feminine than half these women, facial hair and all ha. Don't get me wrong though there were some great lookers with what seemed to be great personalities to boot. The kicker was they just wouldn't talk to me ha oh well, all you can do is try.

Have you ever thought about getting a mail order bride?

http://www.filipinaheart.com/

No these are not just golddiggers. Normal Russian girls do look like this.
http://bride.ru/

 

[It was Mine]

If you're taking a course in home decoration you better tell people you're not gay. Like when you present yourself for the first time you should say: "My name is X, and I just ended a relationship with my ex-girlfriend..."

I was actually going to go in there sarcastically saying I was a flaming homosexual ha, I'm very obviously not, and it would lighten moods. And I do HIGHLY recommend these courses it's been great.

The mail order bride thing is such a grey area, these women are highly appealing but always need money. And lots of it. If your serious about it You have to be prepared to fly to Russia yourself to visit with them, I'd never send money to trust in them. HUGE number of scams. A lot of happy story's I've read though. It's interesting.

 

[Porman]

Replace "need" with "want". you dont actually NEED a girlfriend, no one does. What you should focus on is over coming your social fears, the rest will fall in place.

 

[Vladimir Putin]

Replace "need" with "want". you dont actually NEED a girlfriend, no one does. What you should focus on is over coming your social fears, the rest will fall in place.

Nope, I'm pretty sure I need one. I wanted one when I was between 12-20. I need one now.

 

[dweavis]

Didn't give it a whole lot of thought until every single friend of mine around me got married and started families and then when they had no more time for their single friend it started to bug me. So yeah, I'm with Vladimir on this one, need is how I am feeling about it too now days.

Oh, and to everyone here thinking they are running out of time while in their early to mid 20's...try 33 going on 34.

 

[Vladimir Putin]

Oh, and to everyone here thinking they are running out of time while in
their early to mid 20's...try 33 going on 34.

That is the perfect age for a mail-order bride. Just don't take super hot ones, unless our hot/rich yourself. Besides, mens time do not run out do they?

 

[eleven]

I used to have friends when I was younger. But for reasons I don't want to get in to, I never had a girlfriend. I did go to parties sometimes as a teenager and got outside and eye flirted with girls in cafés with them flirting back. I "even" kissed two girls, but cause of shyness I never approached them and been on a date.

And now here I am. In my early 20's and never had a girlfriend. I have no friends now and I never go out. And I really feel that I need a girlfriend. Not for losing my virginity/having sex. But to be a complete person and having a full life, being a whole man.

And I don't know what to do... What should I do?

People are talking out of the clouds if they are saying a girlfriend wouldnt be important to you. If relationships werent very important for people then the earths population would be half of what is now and only about half of people would be in any form of relationship.

I would say that for average people their current love life is the sole factor of the quality of their mood. The sad truth even the most horrible romantic relationship for the average person would still be overly more bearable than not being in one. Even if a romantic encounter for two people isnt what it once was even in degraded form the pleasure produced would still be very therapeutic for them. Nature rewards people for being in any form of relationship generally in the form of stability in their psychological and physical well being.

Feeling bad for not being in a relationship is a natural feeling but the sad truth is the 'bad feeling' itself will never completely go away till well you take the plunge. If you go to a therapist about it they will give you some ideas on how to cope with your loneliness and then prescribe you a regiment of antidepressants and sent you on your marry way. Again pills generally will elevate your mood after a couple weeks but the emptiness will never leave you. Pills dont even make anything more bearable at all simply more manageable.

Being alone for a few sexless weeks after a break up for most people is unbearable but not as damaging if it doesnt last as long. Years of loneliness however is a different story. And frankly an average person who has never been out of a relationship since they became sexually active would never know what your going through. Another sad fact is someone not in a relationship generally cant be helped by someone else. Someone really cant have a 'pity' relationship with someone else. Perhaps in a hundred years us lonely people could just go the store and buy a clone android that could just be programmed to love us forever but atm its still the year 2009.

Its strange because as you get older and still are not in a relationship does it only become harder. Even if your social skills are perfect if people start to identify you as someone that hasnt been in many relationships will label you as a detriment. Even if you worked out for months built up a ton of muscle and took all the philosophy classes on human ethics and physiological interaction and aced them all you would be about 1 step out of hundred closer to getting with someone. Its the way society eventually labels your person like a form of your reproductive viability. You almost by natural occurrence become a complete turnoff naturally in the eyes of romance in someones mind.

Sadly its ultimately a crappy thing but its all natural interaction. You may be the most attractive person in the universe but its your label that you cant get rid of. To never be alone after about the age of 20 i would suggest that if you are around 18 you try your best to get with someone. The experience alone even if a bad relationship would be exceedingly important to any and all future relationships. Once your old and still alone you can cry, yell, and scream all you want but the only one that can even attempt to help you is yourself. A lack of relationship is the one thing no one can help you with dont even bother praying to god if you are religious person as he cant even help you in these things.

One thing i chuckle about is when people know your lonely and say the 'its ok you will find someone eventually' line. Im like really you think so? You mean after the age of 27 things for me will all the sudden start looking up like a girl will just fall into my lap out of the sky that loves me? Yeah i think i probably have a reason to not be this optimistic especially at such an old age of still being by myself.

As you get older the sad fact is you can pretty much do and say what ever you want till your blue in the face and still have an average success rate of still 0%. You cant change the label society gives you good or bad. A lot of times old lonely virgins are even labeled as 'down to earth generally nice guys' but ultimately still completely off limits for romance for some unknown reason.

It really does just suck after a while. Going through day 2 thousand of being alone eventually even if you arent overly depressed just start feeling completely empty inside. Why do i still get out of bed and go to work and even eat and drink i mean what is the point for me. I dont have a significant other to make everything i do in life at least have a feeling of a sense of purpose. Trust me if all the sudden people didnt have relationships for some reason the world might as well just stop spinning for them. Antidepressants and wishful hopeful thinking might as well just become a wash of grey like everything else for you in life. An AVERAGE person will always completely use their relationships as basically their only form of true sustenance for life till the day they die.

Im surprised sometimes how much i am able to function in society with my circumstances of loneliness. Maybe the fact that I have never been with someone helps but only a bit. I really dont think the average person could go through what i have gone through in life and not just eventually stop functioning sometime down the road. It becomes extremely hard sometimes especially around times like the holidays when it seems everyone but you is spending that time with their significant other yet again. I wish nature wouldnt have given me the biological predisposition to want a procreative relationship i wish being alone had no affect on me ultimately but for some reason is the strongest feeling i feel everyday.

 

[jjam]

One thing i chuckle about is when people know your lonely and say the 'its ok you will find someone eventually' line. Im like really you think so? You mean after the age of 27 things for me will all the sudden start looking up like a girl will just fall into my lap out of the sky that loves me? Yeah i think i probably have a reason to not be this optimistic especially at such an old age of still being by myself.

I'm enjoying your post, and I'm going to read that which follows this part I'm quoting. I just wanted to comment here for a second.
I think the idea that you'll find someone eventually has most to do with your very own evolution (even if it is merely realizing what has long been there, but perhaps buried in the back of your mind) as a person and what you are or will be capable of doing at any random moment that just may happen to be the RIGHT moment. That will land you the girl.

Man, it's no secret to myself why I am single, have been for a **** good (as in bad) minute, and will continue to be if I keep at it the way I've been. It has jack **** to do with my looks. No. In a nutshell, the problem is I don't even TRY. I want (and on many nights feel miserable out of wanting), but do I ever TRY? Absolutely not. I make a **** ton of excuses as to why I'm not trying. At some point in my life, I began psyching myself out into a state of pessimism. "Why would that girl want me?" ... knowing **** well she'd want me because I am good looking, smart, can be silly, highly respectful, have high moral standards, talented, and could probably knock her socks off in a heated moment. But as long as I keep psyching myself out that these things are not so, despite actually having a history and clues in the present that justifies optimism, it aint gonna happen.

Guys our age (just hit 28 recently) have to know by now that it is up to us to make the moves. If you're not making the moves, you're not trying. It would be a different story if you could honestly say you get rejected right and left. It would be a different story if you said you had real physical and mental issues that are screwing it all up. Heck, I have lived with Intermittent Strabismus since birth, and even I know my good looks outweigh the flaw. I'll raise it as an excuse, but it really isn't (again, considering my history with girls, and even how the ladies respond to me today). Intermittent Strabismus is NOT a real issue for me.

I say all that to say, going back to my point about evolving myself, one of these days AKA eventually, I am going to TRY. The very first girlfriend I ever had, I had to TRY for that. I had to first talk to her on the phone when I didn't even know who she was, even though we'd been in each other's presence on numerous occasions. I then had to meet her in person. I then had to find the balls to actually slow dance with her. I never have and never will consider myself a good dancer, but heck... MAYBE she loved it! Girls that told me they'd go out with me (wherever it was I asked them to go), or girls that "played along" when I initialized a session of sexing... I had to go for that like a ball player goes for his/her shots.

Only a rare breed of women actually have "game". In fact, their only game is to be attractive to us enough to TRIGGER our game, which requires a little more than merely being attractive. My man, we have to try.