Kind of Confused, Of Course Lonely, Devalued....

[Delta]

Could be age difference, being an old soul doesn't mean he has caught up on an emotional level maturity wise. Could also be that he is not happy for whatever reason or doesn't like being told what to do.

 

[Pike Creek]

I understand about it being expensive to move. One thing that really frustrates and angers me about life is how all the land in the world is already owned. There isn't anywhere you can go to live that someone else hasn't already claimed, and can therefore bleed you for every last cent you have for living there.

That being said, are there any family or friends you can move in with, even if it's only for a little while? You could try explaining to them your situation and seeing if they can assist you.

That's a whole other topic...land/home ownership...seems like an impossible dream where I want to live...actually I've shaped my life in such a way that eases my social anxiety, meaning, I have no friends, nor do I have any family. Long story, abusive upbringing, so I disowned the family over a decade ago and it was the best decision I've ever made. As for the friends, I just became a natural loner who enjoyed a solitary life, but of course, I got lonely for a mate. My bf is the same as me too, so I thought that was another thing we had in common. But my choice of a loner lifestyle has really left me without any kind of help or support so I have to always try to have my own backup plan. I've tried to make friends, but the overwhelming anxiety associated with it has stopped me every time.

Could be age difference, being an old soul doesn't mean he has caught up on an emotional level maturity wise. Could also be that he is not happy for whatever reason or doesn't like being told what to do.

He is not emotionally mature, I agree, but nobody tells him what to do in our relationship, so I don't think that's the issue. If something is bothering him and he chooses not to share it with me, I'll be in the dark forever about it. It's hard to be vulnerable to people, but if you refuse to open up to your partner, usually your partner knows already that something is up, that's my situation right now and asking him to share does no good so I've given up.

 

[user15010]

As for the friends, I just became a natural loner who enjoyed a solitary life, but of course, I got lonely for a mate. My bf is the same as me too, so I thought that was another thing we had in common. But my choice of a loner lifestyle has really left me without any kind of help or support so I have to always try to have my own backup plan. I've tried to make friends, but the overwhelming anxiety associated with it has stopped me every time.

I think that giving your bf even more space (of course, excluding acceptance of his abusive behaviour), while trying to retain/regain more independence (emotional and financial) and to rebuild your own social life could help you both. Leading partially separate lives and having own friends do help while being in a relationship; not only in terms of a safety net, but also feeling fulfilled. Although easier said than done, as you said breakups are not easy either.

If something is bothering him and he chooses not to share it with me, I'll be in the dark forever about it. It's hard to be vulnerable to people, but if you refuse to open up to your partner, usually your partner knows already that something is up, that's my situation right now and asking him to share does no good so I've given up.

It may not be true in your bf case, but sometimes, I choose not to share my worries when I expect that they may affect my partner. Annoyingly, my partner does the same. Maybe, if your bf sees you ready, stronger and less vulnerable, he'll finally open up.

I may be wrong though.