ZynischeWirklichkeit
Well-known member
Hi everyone. I have been gone for a while, but now I am back.
Alright, so I have a group of friends and we are all friends with each other. I met them all in college a few years ago. There are about 8 friends in this big group. However, despite us all being friends with each other, there is still a big division in this group.
In one sub group, there are the other 6 friends and I. One of the guys in this group absolutely loves me, but I not attracted to him in a dating kind of way. This group of friends is very good to me though. They ask me to hang out. They initiate hanging out. They invite me places. They are there for me if I ever need it. They check up on me and make sure that I am doing ok. I also ask them to hang out once in a while too. Everyone in this group puts effort into the friendships equally. I have no issues with this sub group.
In the other sub group, there is one woman and one guy. The guy flirts with me and this other woman, which I enjoy. I am very attracted to this guy even though he is a major flirt with the ladies. It is very rare for me to experience any attraction for someone. The woman and this guy spend a lot of time with each other even though they are not dating. They tried it and it didn't work. She is living with him right now and even though they are not dating, I am very jealous. This guy currently likes another woman, but that woman doesn't want to date him, so he is single and able to flirt. I love to hang out with them both. The woman is my best woman friend. She is nerdy like I am and she is funny. The guy is very smart and fun. However, these two friends almost never initiate hanging out with me or our other friends. On the rare occasions that I do want to go out, it is always me asking them if they want to hang out. I wonder if they ever think of me like I do them. The only time they ask about hanging out is for Halloween since it has been a tradition.
It is killing me. I know, I am not a great friend. I mostly prefer to be alone. I rarely hang out with friends. I disappear physically for long periods of time. However, even though I mostly want to be alone, I do occasionally want to hang out with them. I think about them. I don't show it, but I do deeply care about them. Since I don't go out much, I do message them on email once a week or so to check up on them and see what's new. They never message me first though. I have been working hard on being a better friend for a while now and my effort is doing nothing.
When I hang out with the girl and guy friend, the guy flirts with me and I laugh with my best girl friend, it kills me deep inside. It makes me feel worse. It reminds me of how close we all used to be in college. It reminds me of the fact that I will never get this guy. If this guy wanted me in a dating kind of way, then he would have messaged me on facebook. I do not message him often because I am not the clingy type at all. I know that he likes another woman and I completely respect that and his space. Hanging out with them reminds me of the fact that I am always the one putting effort into the friendship and asking to hang out. I wish my best girl friend would ask to hang out once in a while. I miss having battles in the toy isle of the store with her. I only see them about 3 times per year. That is all I ask for. I wish they would ask me to hang out some time. It seems to be rather one-sided, me doing the work to even keep the friendship going. At least I know it's not just me that they seem to forget about. They forget about their other friends too. It rips my heart apart.
So, I am thinking about doing what I do best, fleeing and not ever looking back, burning the bridge. If they ask about Halloween, I wonder if I should just ignore them and move on since it is the only time they ask to hang out. It will hurt me so badly, but maybe that is the best thing to do? I known I sound whiny, but, really, I feel so hurt. I just want to fade away, leave them. My brain is telling me to ditch them, but my heart is still telling me not to leave them just yet. What would you do in this case, stay or leave?
I apologize if I got repetitive in my message. My brain is really scattered right now. Sorry if this was too long.
Alright, so I have a group of friends and we are all friends with each other. I met them all in college a few years ago. There are about 8 friends in this big group. However, despite us all being friends with each other, there is still a big division in this group.
In one sub group, there are the other 6 friends and I. One of the guys in this group absolutely loves me, but I not attracted to him in a dating kind of way. This group of friends is very good to me though. They ask me to hang out. They initiate hanging out. They invite me places. They are there for me if I ever need it. They check up on me and make sure that I am doing ok. I also ask them to hang out once in a while too. Everyone in this group puts effort into the friendships equally. I have no issues with this sub group.
In the other sub group, there is one woman and one guy. The guy flirts with me and this other woman, which I enjoy. I am very attracted to this guy even though he is a major flirt with the ladies. It is very rare for me to experience any attraction for someone. The woman and this guy spend a lot of time with each other even though they are not dating. They tried it and it didn't work. She is living with him right now and even though they are not dating, I am very jealous. This guy currently likes another woman, but that woman doesn't want to date him, so he is single and able to flirt. I love to hang out with them both. The woman is my best woman friend. She is nerdy like I am and she is funny. The guy is very smart and fun. However, these two friends almost never initiate hanging out with me or our other friends. On the rare occasions that I do want to go out, it is always me asking them if they want to hang out. I wonder if they ever think of me like I do them. The only time they ask about hanging out is for Halloween since it has been a tradition.
It is killing me. I know, I am not a great friend. I mostly prefer to be alone. I rarely hang out with friends. I disappear physically for long periods of time. However, even though I mostly want to be alone, I do occasionally want to hang out with them. I think about them. I don't show it, but I do deeply care about them. Since I don't go out much, I do message them on email once a week or so to check up on them and see what's new. They never message me first though. I have been working hard on being a better friend for a while now and my effort is doing nothing.
When I hang out with the girl and guy friend, the guy flirts with me and I laugh with my best girl friend, it kills me deep inside. It makes me feel worse. It reminds me of how close we all used to be in college. It reminds me of the fact that I will never get this guy. If this guy wanted me in a dating kind of way, then he would have messaged me on facebook. I do not message him often because I am not the clingy type at all. I know that he likes another woman and I completely respect that and his space. Hanging out with them reminds me of the fact that I am always the one putting effort into the friendship and asking to hang out. I wish my best girl friend would ask to hang out once in a while. I miss having battles in the toy isle of the store with her. I only see them about 3 times per year. That is all I ask for. I wish they would ask me to hang out some time. It seems to be rather one-sided, me doing the work to even keep the friendship going. At least I know it's not just me that they seem to forget about. They forget about their other friends too. It rips my heart apart.
So, I am thinking about doing what I do best, fleeing and not ever looking back, burning the bridge. If they ask about Halloween, I wonder if I should just ignore them and move on since it is the only time they ask to hang out. It will hurt me so badly, but maybe that is the best thing to do? I known I sound whiny, but, really, I feel so hurt. I just want to fade away, leave them. My brain is telling me to ditch them, but my heart is still telling me not to leave them just yet. What would you do in this case, stay or leave?
I apologize if I got repetitive in my message. My brain is really scattered right now. Sorry if this was too long.
