Mad world

[NoMoreHope]

I have this negative part of my brain, where all my emotions direct my actions over reason. Maybe this is the reason why i am always lonely and mad to the world. I cant express how much grief and confusion has been lingering in my heart and mind. I cant find the right thoughts in my head. Its like i am stuck in between to walls, where i cant find the right path for my self, even though the path is right in front of me. My emotions bother me to the point where i just don't do anything about my life. I have been loner since i was a kid. Now i am at my Sophomore in Highschool. I cant describe you how much humiliation and pain is to sit in a classroom where no one talks to you. No one wants me in their group. Resulting always being alone in a group project. Sitting in a lunch table all alone in a big cafeteria filled with teenagers staring at you while you eat. Sitting alone in an auditorium filled with 1500 students with no one to sit by. Life is so hard for me. No one in my family helps me. My dad is always busy with the business. My mom works 40+ hours a week. My two sisters always get the attentions. My brother is in another country. I am always left alone in my room with no one to talk to all day everyday. I spend my weekend nights, searching the net. People always ignore me, I am always left alone by everyone. Why does the world have to be so cruel? Why cant just things turn out not so bad? It saddens me that i see no hope in my life. I cant change, i dont know how. I am worried about my future, thinking i will die alone in my house. Where it will be a week before anyone notices. I am so hopeless.

 

[cumulus.james]

Loads of us have been though or felt like this. Your not alone or a freak because of it. But you are stuck thinking about yourself negatively or applying negative thoughts to the situations you find yourself in. A great thing to do for this is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, people don like the sound of it because it has the word therapy in it. But basically what it does is gets you to retrain yourself to not think so negatively, this gives you back your confidence and self esteem and makes it much easier to handle social situations. It's not like counselling which can be good if you have hurts which you cant get over. But talking therapies are the best way to deal with this sort of stuff. It's always best to go down this route before you end up on meds.

I don’t know how old a sophomore is but if your under 18 then another thing is you have a lot of hormones because of the changes in your body that can mess you up a bit for a while. Most teenage boys have periods of aggression and periods of sadness because of this at some time or another. There have been quite a few posts like this on here from teenage boys but not so many from teenage girls. But like I say that might not apply to you!

Whatever you do don’t just sit there getting depressed, find some help.You are NOT hopeless, just in a bad place and can not see the hope.

I have this negative part of my brain, where all my emotions direct my actions over reason. Maybe this is the reason why i am always lonely and mad to the world. I cant express how much grief and confusion has been lingering in my heart and mind. I cant find the right thoughts in my head. Its like i am stuck in between to walls, where i cant find the right path for my self, even though the path is right in front of me. My emotions bother me to the point where i just don't do anything about my life. I have been loner since i was a kid. Now i am at my Sophomore in Highschool. I cant describe you how much humiliation and pain is to sit in a classroom where no one talks to you. No one wants me in their group. Resulting always being alone in a group project. Sitting in a lunch table all alone in a big cafeteria filled with teenagers staring at you while you eat. Sitting alone in an auditorium filled with 1500 students with no one to sit by. Life is so hard for me. No one in my family helps me. My dad is always busy with the business. My mom works 40+ hours a week. My two sisters always get the attentions. My brother is in another country. I am always left alone in my room with no one to talk to all day everyday. I spend my weekend nights, searching the net. People always ignore me, I am always left alone by everyone. Why does the world have to be so cruel? Why cant just things turn out not so bad? It saddens me that i see no hope in my life. I cant change, i dont know how. I am worried about my future, thinking i will die alone in my house. Where it will be a week before anyone notices. I am so hopeless.

 

[walkman]

NoMoreHope... don't cry please... it's one thing **** unhealthy to keep saying that you are hopeless. There is NOTHING innately wrong in you. Your emotions aren't a problem, but your thinking is (There is no 'negative' part of your brain or anything). You have just fallen into a routine of negative thinking. It might be due to various social and biological reasons, your age being one factor. I'm not saying that circumstances around you are really great, they might by nasty and surely might be adding to your thinking. But you need to urgently break that routine of negative thinking. One suggestion I would like to make is, try a change in your daily routine, change the enviroment, take a break and go to the countryside. Break you external routine. Don't try to figure everything out, cause you can't, and you can't immediately change your circumstances.

First thing that you absolutey ought to focus now, is your condition, your mental health, everything else comes secondary. Give yourself ample time and space for this. Try and get somebody to listen to you ASAP. There are lots of people out there to help you, but if you just sit there and keep being negative you won't meet anybody who can help you. Nobody is going to come to your doorstep. You have got to take that first small step. Talk about it, please don't keep it to yourself, because you are needlessly complicating things.

People on this forum are listening to you. We care about you and completely sypathise, but we can only help in words. Are you just going to be satisfied with inspiring thoughts and hopeful words?? Or are you really going to do something NOW.

_______________________

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
* Pearl S. Buc

 

[NoMoreHope]

what should i do walkman?

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Stop waiting for people to talk to you. Go find another socially awkward kid that needs a friend, and sit with them at lunch. You're not the only one in this situation.

 

[walkman]

what should i do walkman?

NoMoreHope... please read my above reply... You don't know how much I wish that you come out of your loneliness and affliction. I would rescue you if I could, but I'm no God, nobody is, to give you perfect and easy and instant solutions. I can write endlessly on it. But then again, sadly, we can only lead someone to the water... it's upto you to drink it. And I absolutely believe you can take the first step. The first step is always difficult... but hey... what's your other option??

Try one SIMPLE thing: say what you have said on this forum to somebody who can lead you to something than can help. And break your routine... go on a countryside hike, travel, get a pet, ... try something that is a step out of your routine.... DO IT, you have GOT TO DO IT... like you RUN when you see a wild animal infront of you... there is no thinking about it... you just do it...

There is no end to your thinking... Just Do it, cause otherwise you'll sink further down the swamp of negative thinking. Nevermind how it turns out. You'll see your thinking breaking up. I can't say anything more than that.

Take care and let me know.

 

[NoMoreHope]

Hey walkman... i know its been a long time and i dont even know if your still visiting this website. I would just like to inform you that i have improve a little bit. Though occasionally i have some sad deppressing moments. I am now in a relationship with a beautiful girl who i love so much and means the world to me. i am thankful everyday that i have been blessed with her. She is my angel. if it wasnt for her i would probably be still so.miserable amd probably attempted to commit suicide. Anyways. Thank you so much for the advice. I sure have benefited from it. Best wishes to you walkman. I hope yku are doing well. Stay safe my friend. Thank you again...