Paying for dates

[Kenny]

How much success do you think I would have on a date if the woman expected me to pay for everything and I said this:

I'm here with you because I like you, and I thought you genuinely liked me. I'm want to get to know you, not provide you with free meals, what am I? A ******* homeless shelter.

LMAO

I need better lines. Keep them coming!!!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't see what the big deal is over paying for a date. Does it really, really matter? If you can't afford it, you shouldn't be going on dates.

If you said that, I don't think she'd look your way again. That's rude to say. Unless she liked how quirky it was, then maybe it would be okay.

 

[A new life]

I don't see what the big deal is over paying for a date. Does it really, really matter? If you can't afford it, you shouldn't be going on dates.

If you said that, I don't think she'd look your way again. That's rude to say. Unless she liked how quirky it was, then maybe it would be okay.

You're right of course.
And Kenny's reply would be rude to say the least.

But I'm reminded of a conversation that I overheard at work in which
one of the girls (in her 20's I think) was telling another how much fun it is
to go to Memphis (a local bar) and "let guys buy me drinks."
That just rubs me the wrong way.
It's one of our continuing double-standards

This concludes today's rant.
You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled activities (now in progress)

 

[VanillaCreme]

Honestly, I'd feel more comfortable paying my own way. I don't play those gender roles. It's just common sense to me that you pay for your own. And if a second date comes along, and he paid for the first one, then I should pay for the second. Nothing wrong with sharing the payments. I wouldn't want dudes to buy me drinks either, because I'd be pretty sure that means they want me to have more than a drink.

 

[Kenny]

I wouldn't want dudes to buy me drinks either, because I'd be pretty sure that means they want me to have more than a drink.

I noticed you didn't say "some" dudes. So you are generalizing that all men want to get you drunk and take advantage of you? Can you clarify?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't want dudes to buy me drinks either, because I'd be pretty sure that means they want me to have more than a drink.

I noticed you didn't say "some" dudes. So you are generalizing that all men want to get you drunk and take advantage of you? Can you clarify?

No, I'm talking about the dude who bought me the drink. Not every guy in the world. Nice try.

Oh, and I don't get drunk. I would never drink that much.

 

[jales]

For me: man must pay!!! lol

Knowing Kenny's post.. I know he is joking. And I actually somehow imagine Kenny to be the type to pay if he really liked the girl. Don't know of anything else you can tell her lol. But I like the topic of paying for dates so I will give my opinion.

For me, because of how I think, and because I'm pretty much traditional the guy should pay. If a guy invites me to dinner or on a date for the first few times, I would always have enough money to pay my half and probably his half as well.. and if I have to pay it I will (not that this ever happened..). Also the only times I have 'dated' I was so comfortable with the guys that we both knew exactly how much money we had on each other when leaving home.

But I would probably lose respect for a guy who asks me to pay, and I would probably think that we dont view life similarly and therefore would not make a great long-term couple. If a guy does not have a lot of money I am fine with that, in that case he should plan something like a picnic date (which I have had before).. or a night in to watch a movie, or just going to a park or the beach or something free.

I do not need to go to an expensive restaurant or to spend any money at all, but I do need to know that he sees himself as someone who should be able to/wants to take care of his woman financially.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'd be comfortable splitting the cost of things with my date. I think it shows mutuality in wanting to be with each other on the date. It also makes me feel like I'm not taking advantage of the guy if i'd pay for my half, but probably wouldn't make him feel as emasculated as paying for him as well.

 

[jales]

Also I should probably add that my definition of a date may be different to that of other peoples. I have almost never gone anywhere with a guy that I did not know very well that would require either of us to use money. If I am interested in a guy and he ask me out I would usually suggest that we

1.) meet up to study together
2.) me up to talk.. somewhere on campus

something like that... the only times I have actually dated.. have been with guys that I have known and spoken to everyday for at least 4 or 5 months, and with whom I am already in a relationship.

There have been guys who like to insist that while getting to know each other you go out to the movies etc. But those who usually press that stuff in my opinion where players.

Oh and there have been instances of double dating/proms etc. Where the guy has paid for me.. but these were with guys who were not interested in me, and only asked me out because they didnt want to go alone and they knew me as a friend. I knew all these guys well enough to understand the situation. And culturally speaking it would have been odd if I tried to pay. (this situation only happened with 2 guys that I know though).

 

[WishingWell]

Kenny,

Rude? LOL! That's an understatement! Please don't say that!

I believe that if you are going out with a woman that continues to expect you to pay for everything that you are dating the wrong woman (women). You are finding golddiggers!

In this day in age when women have incomes too, I can't see why, like I always DID (haven't dated for a while), a women wouldn't treat you to dinner too or split the cost with you. If she can't afford to pay for some of the dates, she should be upfront about it, and then you could maybe go to less expensive places or go on dates to places that are free. Where I live, a walk in a park, a free concert in a park, a ride to a scenic place, and many other options are around.

I hope this helps a little bit.

 

[alonewanderer]

I've only ever had 1 woman offer to pay for movie tickets since I just paid for dinner and another who offered to go "dutch" which I politely refused.

I always pay for everything because I assume it's the price for random company.


BUT a good one is to look for wallet , say " oh , it seems as though I've misplaced or lost my wallet" - it's so douchie - also I've only done this to my cousin.

 

[SophiaGrace]

This reminds me of the person from ALL i fell in love with. We'd have to travel both ways to see each other. I always tried to ease his expenses because I knew we were both college students with not much to spare. I didn't want to take advantage of him.

 

[Kenny]

For me: man must pay!!! lol

Knowing Kenny's post.. I know he is joking. And I actually somehow imagine Kenny to be the type to pay if he really liked the girl.

Ding Ding Ding We have a winner.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I had plenty of women take me out and buy me dinner or pay for whatever.

Supply N demands...supply N demands, Kenny.

K, its one of those things that SOME dudes get to experience or have this point of view.
Have U ever wonder whats going through her head when she has ur cock in her mouth
N sheS making eye contact with ya?

 

[DiRektoR27]

In my opinion man must pay for date. But my sister didn't think so... She was quarrel with her boyfriend many times for that. She want to pay her part and hers bf want to pay her part...

 

[A Desolate Soul]

ugh, i hate double standards. like SOME women expect men to pay for dinner, buy them flowers, buy them drinks. i think it would be nice if women would do the same for us men. i think splitting is good for the first few dates cause it shows that neither party is using the other for a free meal or whatever it is that they're doing. however, if the relationship is a bit more serious, i don't think it would really matter who paid for what.

interesting enough, i read an article on a study done that women who THINK they're attractive are more likely to expect their date to pay the whole tab.

but then again, if i were to go on a first date with a woman, it wouldn't be something as cliche as a dinner date.

 

[DiRektoR27]

however, if the relationship is a bit more serious, i don't think it would really matter who paid for what.

you are right, you are right...

 

[VanillaCreme]

ugh, i hate double standards. like SOME women expect men to pay for dinner, buy them flowers, buy them drinks. i think it would be nice if women would do the same for us men. i think splitting is good for the first few dates cause it shows that neither party is using the other for a free meal or whatever it is that they're doing. however, if the relationship is a bit more serious, i don't think it would really matter who paid for what.

Exactly. I think it's archaic that some people think that the man should have to pay. No, how about it doesn't really matter. How about either you pay for your own, or don't go out. I don't see how a female can even go out and expect a man to always pay. Those are some of the same women who then turn around and claim they can take care of themselves. It's stupid. There's nothing wrong with splitting it.

 

[Bread]

I used to be a firm believer in that the man should pay for the date, generally due to being brainwashed by the media to think so. Nowadays, if I ever even had a chance at a date, I'd most likely feel better with both parties paying for their own consumption. So there's the general feeling of 'no strings attached' to the whole affair, and most importantly, it saves me what little money I have, instead of trying to woo her while my financial status is about the same as the hull integrity of the Titanic in it's watery grave.

 

[Kenny]

interesting enough, i read an article on a study done that women who THINK they're attractive are more likely to expect their date to pay the whole tab.

Ah, vagina. The oldest currency in existence.

"Attractive" vagina, worth even more.