Seriously need help (girl problem)

[Peaches]

this sounds like a story for this site:

http://abadcaseofthedates.com

 

[lostatsea]

Umm... I'm guessing her green card is expiring soon or something. Run... just run and deal. Even if you have mutual friends, they should understand how crazy this woman is....

 

[Batman55]

...

I get up this morning and I have two messages on my phone, one from a friend and one from her. I listen to my friends message and he says hey I heard your going to get married and I called back asking him what, he said that he knew friends of the girl I had been seeing and she told all of them we were getting married. Then I check my other message on my phone and it is the girl saying how I make her the happiest she has ever been in her life. So I decided to call her and get to the bottom of this, she answers and I tell her what is this I hear about you telling everyone were engaged; then she says oh I just had to let everyone know. I told her I never said I was going to marry you, and she said well you didn't say no either. So I figure that is the end of that right? Wrong 2 minutes later I get a message from her saying she was going to look for a dress and I sent a message back saying what did I not just get through telling you. She completly ignores the message and about an hour later messages me about weather or not I would want a boy or a girl as a first child. I end up messaging her again telling her she must be out of her mind if she believes we are going to be having kids together. Right after I send that message I get one back from her saying she is going to see her doctor and see if she can come off birth control pills. I have not even sent a message back I don't know what the point is, why she is doing all this, and she knows a lot of the same people as me so my life is ruined. Is there anything I can possibly do besides trying to have her committed to a mental hospital?

Hey bro,

What did I tell you about dating sites?

---

Thank you, I guess I kind of got a little to comfortable with the whole online dating thing and forgot how strange some people could be.

Not to downplay the situation or blow my own horn here, but I'm more often correct about certain things, than I would even like to be.

 

[Punisher]

Sounds like your friends are playing a prank on you.

 

[murmi97]

Sounds like your friends are playing a prank on you.

I kinda sensed that possibility too since they have mutual friends.

 

[EveWasFramed]

So.... what's the skinny for this today?

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

Hey. I read what you wrote, and the advice people are giving you.
I guess they are right to tell you to keep yourself safe and all, that the way she is acting is not okay by a long shot.
But, and dont take me wrong, its nothing against you, I kinda feel more for her than for you. She seems to be troubled, a lot, and I have to feel bad when trying to understand what is going thru her head. It seems she may be sad, really sad and lonely.
Its not like I´m telling you not to keep your hands of her, that may be the right thing to do. But maybe, just maybe, she is uncountiously desperately looking for help.
Maybe she could not use a lover, or a husband, even if she thinks that will help her, but maybe she could really really use a friend that will try to help her.
I´m not telling you you should..But maybe trying to help her would be a nice thing to do. Talk to her, eye to an eye, about all, honestly, tell her, ask her, try to understand her, and help her to get the mess in her head a little more organized. Dont become her boyfriend, but maybe a friend that is willing to listen, if possible. I think she could really use someone who forces her to open up, to drop this mask she is wearing, and support her on her way to getting rid of this low-self esteem, or whatever is troubling her.
Because even if you may be lonely, even troubled, it seems that you are not as troubled as she is. It seems she is in a way worse place than you are.

I know what I wrote is quite different from what people told you here, and I do not know if this is the right thing to do, as I´m far from being expert of any kind when it comes to female psyche. I dont know if you should put you neck out there and risk helping her. But you might be in a position to do that, as someone who is somehow close to her now.

I´m sorry if this is a plain wrong advice, but I just hope she gets better, as she seems not okay as of right now

 

[Mike510]

So.... what's the skinny for this today?

Nothing all is quiet for today

---

Hey. I read what you wrote, and the advice people are giving you.
I guess they are right to tell you to keep yourself safe and all, that the way she is acting is not okay by a long shot.
But, and dont take me wrong, its nothing against you, I kinda feel more for her than for you. She seems to be troubled, a lot, and I have to feel bad when trying to understand what is going thru her head. It seems she may be sad, really sad and lonely.
Its not like I´m telling you not to keep your hands of her, that may be the right thing to do. But maybe, just maybe, she is uncountiously desperately looking for help.
Maybe she could not use a lover, or a husband, even if she thinks that will help her, but maybe she could really really use a friend that will try to help her.
I´m not telling you you should..But maybe trying to help her would be a nice thing to do. Talk to her, eye to an eye, about all, honestly, tell her, ask her, try to understand her, and help her to get the mess in her head a little more organized. Dont become her boyfriend, but maybe a friend that is willing to listen, if possible. I think she could really use someone who forces her to open up, to drop this mask she is wearing, and support her on her way to getting rid of this low-self esteem, or whatever is troubling her.
Because even if you may be lonely, even troubled, it seems that you are not as troubled as she is. It seems she is in a way worse place than you are.

I know what I wrote is quite different from what people told you here, and I do not know if this is the right thing to do, as I´m far from being expert of any kind when it comes to female psyche. I dont know if you should put you neck out there and risk helping her. But you might be in a position to do that, as someone who is somehow close to her now.

I´m sorry if this is a plain wrong advice, but I just hope she gets better, as she seems not okay as of right now

So you think I should contact her and ask if she needs help?

 

[Seosa2]

I think you've been set up, fella. I think people found out you were on a dating site and have concocted a plan like this. She's ******* you about like everybody else.

Christ, I hate people.

Just cut her dead, my friend.

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

Hey. I read what you wrote, and the advice people are giving you.
I guess they are right to tell you to keep yourself safe and all, that the way she is acting is not okay by a long shot.
But, and dont take me wrong, its nothing against you, I kinda feel more for her than for you. She seems to be troubled, a lot, and I have to feel bad when trying to understand what is going thru her head. It seems she may be sad, really sad and lonely.
Its not like I´m telling you not to keep your hands of her, that may be the right thing to do. But maybe, just maybe, she is uncountiously desperately looking for help.
Maybe she could not use a lover, or a husband, even if she thinks that will help her, but maybe she could really really use a friend that will try to help her.
I´m not telling you you should..But maybe trying to help her would be a nice thing to do. Talk to her, eye to an eye, about all, honestly, tell her, ask her, try to understand her, and help her to get the mess in her head a little more organized. Dont become her boyfriend, but maybe a friend that is willing to listen, if possible. I think she could really use someone who forces her to open up, to drop this mask she is wearing, and support her on her way to getting rid of this low-self esteem, or whatever is troubling her.
Because even if you may be lonely, even troubled, it seems that you are not as troubled as she is. It seems she is in a way worse place than you are.

I know what I wrote is quite different from what people told you here, and I do not know if this is the right thing to do, as I´m far from being expert of any kind when it comes to female psyche. I dont know if you should put you neck out there and risk helping her. But you might be in a position to do that, as someone who is somehow close to her now.

I´m sorry if this is a plain wrong advice, but I just hope she gets better, as she seems not okay as of right now

So you think I should contact her and ask if she needs help?

I have no idea if you should or should not, sorry:/ Maybe someone smarter than me would be able to tell you that.
It just seems that she could use a friend and a helping hand.
You wrote that you both have some friends in similar, right? Maybe thru them, ask them what the know about her, about her past, and maybe suggest that you (all of you) may help her somehow. But from how you describe her it doesnt feel she has friends, but rather she has people who she knows.
I would like to tell you that it would be nice to contact her and offer your help, making it clear that you do not wish to become her boyfried or husband, but I guess many people here would tell you not to do that, that you may end up being seriously burned. I´m not that naive not to see that is also a possibility.
But the thing that seems really sad for me is seeing how desperate she is. You may leave her, okay, but after you, there will be another that will leave her, and another, and another. Even if it is her fault. But she will never get better, and I can only imagine her being sad, and crying at night into the pillow asking what is wrong with her, why does no one ever want to be with her.
I just cant help not to feel bad for her. But I´m sorry, I do not know what you should do. I just wanted you to have another perspective that you can use in the process of your decision.

I´m sorry I can not be helpful.

 

[Mike510]

But the thing that seems really sad for me is seeing how desperate she is. You may leave her, okay, but after you, there will be another that will leave her, and another, and another. Even if it is her fault. But she will never get better, and I can only imagine her being sad, and crying at night into the pillow asking what is wrong with her, why does no one ever want to be with her.

**** now your actually making me feel bad for doing that to her

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

But the thing that seems really sad for me is seeing how desperate she is. You may leave her, okay, but after you, there will be another that will leave her, and another, and another. Even if it is her fault. But she will never get better, and I can only imagine her being sad, and crying at night into the pillow asking what is wrong with her, why does no one ever want to be with her.

**** now your actually making me feel bad for doing that to her

Dont feel bad, that is not what I was trying to achieve. I´m sorry I said those things, I guess I shouldnt have. I´m sure you will find many people who would know way better what to tell you.
I guess you better dont take my advice, I´m not someone who is knowledgeable when it comes to social interaction and its implications, as well as determinants that its based on.
Sorry for telling you these things, I wont do that any more.
I bet you will find others in here that will give you sound advice about what to do.
Sorry for trying to do that.

 

[murmi97]

but after you, there will be another that will leave her, and another, and another.

Maybe not if she can find someone willing to commit as soon and as impulsively as she is. < The optimist in me had to say that.

 

[Seeker]

Hey Mike, i don't know if it helps you but let me share an experience of mine, similar (but not as bad as) this . Seven years ago a girl approached me out of the blue and straight out asked for my number. Naturally, I was dumbfounded, i mean things like these only happen in movies right? Well, i give it to her and she texts me continuously until that very same night i found myself making out with her in my car. The next few days were hell, though. She would text me all day every day and fantasize about fancy hotel rooms and roses and stuff. All this freaked me out, and i asked a friend about it, who knew her. He told me that she would obsess over every guy she met and that she did that to everyone. So, i broke it off with her (which wasn't easy since she stubbornly refused to understand what she was doing. Well, last year i see her on the street and she comes talking to me again. She's married and she apologized for her behavior all these years back. Well, what i'm trying to say is that maybe you should just break it off peacefully with this girl, saying to her that you just don't think you understand each other. As for people talking, your real friends won't take her seriously. Hope i helped, good luck man

 

[Senamian]

YellowCat: But she herself must first realize her behavior... Before she can achieve true happiness, and a healthy relationship.

Seeker: It's nice that she found herself in a better situation, and even apologized! I know a few girls like that here... And eventually they all "sober up"

 

[Mike510]

Hey Mike, i don't know if it helps you but let me share an experience of mine, similar (but not as bad as) this . Seven years ago a girl approached me out of the blue and straight out asked for my number. Naturally, I was dumbfounded, i mean things like these only happen in movies right? Well, i give it to her and she texts me continuously until that very same night i found myself making out with her in my car. The next few days were hell, though. She would text me all day every day and fantasize about fancy hotel rooms and roses and stuff. All this freaked me out, and i asked a friend about it, who knew her. He told me that she would obsess over every guy she met and that she did that to everyone. So, i broke it off with her (which wasn't easy since she stubbornly refused to understand what she was doing. Well, last year i see her on the street and she comes talking to me again. She's married and she apologized for her behavior all these years back. Well, what i'm trying to say is that maybe you should just break it off peacefully with this girl, saying to her that you just don't think you understand each other. As for people talking, your real friends won't take her seriously. Hope i helped, good luck man

Thanks. I might send her a message after the weekend and try to be nicer to her about it and make sure she isn't taking it to hard

 

[Mike510]

Thanks. I might send her a message after the weekend and try to be nicer to her about it and make sure she isn't taking it to hard

What was I thinking life just got a hell of a lot more complicated

 

[murmi97]

Still.. "nuts" about you, is she? I'm sorry.

 

[Mike510]

Still.. "nuts" about you, is she? I'm sorry.

I talked to her best friend to try and help, the three of us are going to meet tonight and talk about it.

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

I talked to her best friend to try and help, the three of us are going to meet tonight and talk about it.

Hey.
No matter how this will turn out, all I want to say is that I admire you, that you were noble to pull through and try to help. That is a real gesture of you, a real sign of a brave heart, in my eyes.
Thanks for the likes of you, who help even when it may not be easy.
I wish all of you luck, and thank you once more.