She made fun of me in front of everyone....

[M_also_lonely]

As I mentioned in a post, I like this girl who is four years senior to me. As people here suggested, I went to her, and said Hi. She was with her friends. At first she giggled. And then we started talking...They were smiling (and she was smiling too) when we were talking.....After 10-12 minutes I realized that they were making fun of me.....And one of my classmates standing aside saw this and took me away and said, dontvu understand that they are making fun of you.
Then the girl came and said the same things that I have always heard, "look at you, loser. You really think you could come and dare to ask me..."



I dont know why she said this.When I asked my classmate about this he said, "when you know that you will never get anybody, why do u waste your time in making a joke out of yourself?"



Wjy does this happen to me all the time.....


No 1 or 2 everybody says this.....everybody calls me loser, why????

 

[Mouse]

People are so mean. But often it's a cover up to disguise their own social ineptness, so they make cruel fun on someone they pick out. I have had this happen to me before Dad took me out for homeschooling. My life at school was terrible. But I stood up for myself.

You need to report this. To your parents so they can action on it, and you write a letter to your school's Head. Politely ask for an acknowledgement. You could even ask your Head Of Year, the teacher in charge of your semester. Never write an email. Always a letter and see it reaches your school's Head via their Personal Assistant. If you are in the UK, most schools have a Peer Support programme where older, more experienced students take a junior under their wing to guide them. If all else fails, then a hand written letter to your school governors should be very effective. This girl needs disciplining, and school staff can do this. Don't be afraid, Hun. You can do it. I didn't let the buggers get me down.

I hope you find this site, The Student Room to be useful. Join it if you can and ask for help there. 'TSR' has members from other countries, the site itself also is highly supportive against bullying.

I know what you're going through is difficult; but not insurmountable. If you like, you are very welcome to private message me.

Anna Mouse

 

[VanillaCreme]

People who make fun of others can't appreciate the fact that we're all different. My simple advice is that you don't need someone like that in your life. It's hard enough coming across people to really trust and love without having someone tossing out unnecessary insults. I don't personally care if people call me a loser because I've found people to be losers with together. Your classmate had the good enough sense to help out when it was needed. But, what she said and did was harsh and really uncalled for. Take some time to yourself. She wanted to tear you down for reasons I can't imagine, but don't let her. She's not worth it.

 

[Tiina63]

To my mind, this girl and her friends are the losers and not you. They treated you really badly. Decent people do not treat others like this. As Mouse says, it was probably because they are socially inept and so take out their insecurities on someone who they see as vulnerable.

 

[Peaches]

To my mind, this girl and her friends are the losers and not you. They treated you really badly. Decent people do not treat others like this. As Mouse says, it was probably because they are socially inept and so take out their insecurities on someone who they see as vulnerable.

exactly, what Tiina writes is quite right - give it 5 years time, and I bet all my money that you will look down on them and they will look up to you - just concentrate on yourself, on finding what YOU want to be, and I promise that girls will come flocking, maybe even that one (who anyway is a loser so you don't want anything to do with her). Sounds like science fiction, it is not.

 

[Katerina]

Wow, how old are these girls? They sounds like a petty shallow clique of teens.

 

[Danielle]

People suck...I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[Morse Code]

Are you still in school? People can be nasty, and it's on them and not you. I'd say try not to take it personally since you're probably not the only one they pick on, but I know how hard it is not to do that. If you can, try to surround yourself with different people who possibly like the same things you do (hobbies, sports). In the meantime you should've asked that one guy "should I have made a joke about you instead?" People...

 

[h3donist]

From my experience, all the people who everyone looked up to at school often regret how they spent their time. Bullies and generally nasty people like her do not stay that way for long because although she seems miss popular now, as the years go by she'll become more and more lonely as the people she associated with drift away. In ten years time, she'll be messaging everyone she knew at school including you on Facebook (or whatever will be the social media of that time) begging to have some sort of contact. By which time you'll have come so far and done so much you can simply smile and move on.

Trust me everybody will have memories of school that will make them wince. I know it hurts now, but just take a step back and imagine what she's going to be like in 10 years time without anyone genuine in her life. It is MUCH better to have a few close, decent, thoughtful and chivalrous friends than dozens of cliquey hanger-ons who will be lost in time...like tears in the rain.

You're not a loser, you're a decent person. As Mouse says, report any bullying to the relevant person in charge of dealing with it. Focus on things that will make you happy, and not other people.

Good luck dude

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't ever talk to any of them again. Just horrible, horrible people, not worth knowing or thinking about.
I hope you meet some nicer people who appreciate you.

 

[Despicable Me]

For some reason I can't help but think there are lots of details missing from your stories, M.

In any case, people are mean because they are insecure. Psychologically insecurity is the only reason for being mean. They fear that if they aren't mean then they will be seen as weak to others and be treated in the same way that they treat others, which is ultimately their worst fear. They do not realize that insulting others like that is the true sign of weakness.
Many of these people's insecurities are so deep that being mean to others is the only form of socializing they even understand. Eventually most of these people will destroy every relationship they have and will become extremely lonely themselves. It is the only way they can ever learn. Others will try to fill the void left by these broken relationships with money and material possessions.

You are a stronger person than they are because you can tolerate the insults.

The only way to really deal with these people in a mature way is to forget about them and move on with your life.
You can't make them happy because the only person that can make them happy is themselves, and they certainly could not make you happy until they found themselves.

There are some good people out there in the world, you just have to find them. Sometimes that is a journey on its own. So just enjoy that journey, one day you'll look back on the heartaches and be able to laugh.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

 

[Despicable Me]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

If a girl is emotionally stable she won't depend on her friends either way.

An emotionally unstable girl, like the one M talked to, could react even worse if spoken to alone. Her insecurity issues might erupt and cause her to be even more cruel and cause a scene to perpetuate the illusion that she is strong through cruelty.
It's possible there is a 'normal girl' who falls victim to the peer pressure of her friends and may react better alone, but is that really someone who anyone wants to be with? And what if you start dating and her friends disapprove behind your back? Then what?

No, a girl is a girl. It should not matter where she is.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

If a girl is emotionally stable she won't depend on her friends either way.

An emotionally unstable girl, like the one M talked to, could react even worse if spoken to alone. Her insecurity issues might erupt and cause her to be even more cruel and cause a scene to perpetuate the illusion that she is strong through cruelty.
It's possible there is a 'normal girl' who falls victim to the peer pressure of her friends and may react better alone, but is that really someone who anyone wants to be with? And what if you start dating and her friends disapprove behind your back? Then what?

No, a girl is a girl. It should not matter where she is.

Less embarrassment for him and her. Maybe she was showing off ?
It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

 

[Despicable Me]

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

 

[BeyondShy]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

Agreed 100%.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

Agreed 100%.

I am glad somebody ******* does !

---

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

So, should they go somewhere no one will see them on the date too, since it's so private?

You win some, you lose some. Some girls (and guys) are bitches and feel the need to act "cool" around their friends. It's not designated to just teenagers though, I've seen it happen with older people too.

 

[ringwood]

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

So, should they go somewhere no one will see them on the date too, since it's so private?

Heh...well obviously not. What TripleB is getting at is that asking someone out can be nerve-wracking, and the last thing you need is a freakin' audience standing by. And that arranging a date is private and nobody else's business.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

So, should they go somewhere no one will see them on the date too, since it's so private?

Heh...well obviously not. What TripleB is getting at is that asking someone out can be nerve-wracking, and the last thing you need is a freakin' audience standing by. And that arranging a date is private and nobody else's business.

It's called sarcasm.
My point is that if asking someone out is too "private" to be done in front of people, maybe you shouldn't be taking her out at all, even if she were to say yes. If you're scared of her friends and their opinions, well, whatever might happen with the girl is pretty much messed from the start.
Lots of things are no one else's business, but they'll sometimes make it so and also add to the story to have it benefit them. Such is life, if you choose to let it bother you, then you're in for a bumpy ride.