So some guys on here say they can message 20 women on a dating site, and get 19 responses. This is extremely foreign to me, and I don't know what you're doing right, but it's almost unfair.
I can message 50 and get about 7, about 5 of those are just the one line response and nothing, about 2 I can go for 4-5 more messages and then it's over with "no thanks."
I have been asking here and elsewhere relentlessly, the men are telling me to bulk up and take my shirt off (which is NOT me), the women will not offer me any ideas at all other than be myself and then everything will be fine.
I'm about to get off the OKStupid site completely, even being on the dating site is not me, I am not the type to advertise myself. I don't believe I should be selling myself like a brand, and I don't believe it is even ethical for me, or anyone, to search through hundreds of profiles as if they were trading cards with different stats for strength, beauty, and intelligence, and then pick out what you want. If I wanted goods, I'd go to the market.
A marketplace for a "special someone" is an extremely twisted idea IMHO. To say it's not a marketplace would be to tell me "just be yourself and replies will pour in", that is NOT the case here. After 3 weeks of being there, the only thing that's happened is what little confidence I had, has gone further down the drain.
I guess the point is, I came here and other places asking what can a super-shy person do, if they want some kind of relationship, and inevitably they all say "dating site." Partly this message is for those people who make this suggestion. in the future, when someone is shy or a loser, it's a better idea that you tell these "shy loser guys" just to give up and stare at the wall.. than to tell them to join a dating site. This "conventional wisdom" must end. The suggestion causes more pain than it is worth.
If I thought I was good looking before, what about now? Now, I'm thinking my looks are the problem, and I need to start thinking I'm simply unattractive. Is this what a "shy loser" needs? Not really.
I can message 50 and get about 7, about 5 of those are just the one line response and nothing, about 2 I can go for 4-5 more messages and then it's over with "no thanks."
I have been asking here and elsewhere relentlessly, the men are telling me to bulk up and take my shirt off (which is NOT me), the women will not offer me any ideas at all other than be myself and then everything will be fine.
I'm about to get off the OKStupid site completely, even being on the dating site is not me, I am not the type to advertise myself. I don't believe I should be selling myself like a brand, and I don't believe it is even ethical for me, or anyone, to search through hundreds of profiles as if they were trading cards with different stats for strength, beauty, and intelligence, and then pick out what you want. If I wanted goods, I'd go to the market.
A marketplace for a "special someone" is an extremely twisted idea IMHO. To say it's not a marketplace would be to tell me "just be yourself and replies will pour in", that is NOT the case here. After 3 weeks of being there, the only thing that's happened is what little confidence I had, has gone further down the drain.
I guess the point is, I came here and other places asking what can a super-shy person do, if they want some kind of relationship, and inevitably they all say "dating site." Partly this message is for those people who make this suggestion. in the future, when someone is shy or a loser, it's a better idea that you tell these "shy loser guys" just to give up and stare at the wall.. than to tell them to join a dating site. This "conventional wisdom" must end. The suggestion causes more pain than it is worth.
If I thought I was good looking before, what about now? Now, I'm thinking my looks are the problem, and I need to start thinking I'm simply unattractive. Is this what a "shy loser" needs? Not really.