Sometimes i feel so old and lonely...

[lonelydude]

Hello,
Eventhough im a teenager, and the its currently summer where i live, sometimes i just feel like an 80 year old who lives his own 'cold' and lonely life without much human interaction. All i can do is watch other ppl have fun and enjoy themselves(at school). I wasnt really like this but now i have become so. The reason why i feel like this is because sometimes ppl come to me for help, and you know what , when im done helping them, they not only forget about me , BUT they end up doing something bad to me...This has happened SO MANY times to me , and i feel like an idiot for letting it happen to me so much...but what can i do, im so lonely i need somebody to talk to .. Sorry if i seem to be using up ur time while writing this , i dont really like ranting but i dunno what compelled me to write this. let me elabroate on a few instances.

A few years ago my class got changed and in the new class the kids were already friends with each other so i decided would befriend a few of em. Bad idea coz the first ppl i tried were a bunch of snobs and wanted me to kiss their a** to be friend (like a few other ppl did) ..Anyway i found this guy who was a really nice and i tried to be his friend. I had a whole group of buds outside of the class and we used to have teh best time. I tried to include that guy from my new class in our group. Sounds nice right? well fast forward a year later and now my old group doesnt even talk to me properly now , and theyre all good friends with that guy...I dunno what happened. that guy used to be treated really badly by the other kids in the class coz he wasnt much of an ******* like them. I thought hed be a good friends for all of us , i never did anything bad to him but then that happened.

Before my class got changed this other 'friend' of mine came to me with almost every problem he had, with studies or life. He used to be depressed coz his parents wouldnt give him enough attention and he would vent that and more out with me. I gave him encouragment and support in anything he needed, sometimes even with money and transport and never really asked for anything in return...Fast forward 4 years later its been almost 2 years since he hasnt talked to me , and he even tried to get me in trouble with the teachers on several occasions... A very similar thing happened with another "pal" of mine, and recently i got sick and couldnt attend a week of class and i asked him for his notes for a day and he flat out refused coz he couldnt "trust" me . This person used to call me 4 in the morning (im a very light sleeper) coz he was worried about his exams for like 2 straight years. He even used to get his english work checked by me and discuss stuff about life (like the other guy) but when i asked for some notes of the lecture i had missed , he said NO...

Finally , yet another one of my friend used to come to me for moral support and encouragment . His friends used to push him around and take money and honeysuckle from him. I used to help him how to deal with that , for like a year and a half. And what does he do to say thank you? Spread very very untrue and disturbing rumour about me FOR NO REASON....

I never realll asked anything from anyone...nor do i intend do. But maybe before i help somebody out again, ill ask him NOT to ever talk to me again... At least thats better than getting treated the way i was before... Am i the only person whos been stepped over like this way? ...I feel so bad

 

[Bluey]

Oh man,, It could have been me that write that.

So many times I have put my self out for ppl and they just use and move on. I got a friend that I took in of the street has hes dad had frown him out of the hose and I keeped him for nothing. And even lent him cash. What thinks do I get for it. Not even a invite to hes stag night. I mean I have fall out with ppl cos they said they where coming round act for a certain time and never terned up.. I show that this pissers me of and they fall out with me. I mean If I had let someone down like that I would be full of apologies. But no,, Nothing. Just they look at me like am being Mordy or some honeysuckle. Well they can **** ** **** get what am saying here lol NOT

But Yea, I am not that old. But yet I set in the hose all the time. I have no life absolutely what so ever. I could be out drinking. In stead I am in on my own drinking. Cos the ppl that I could be out with drink and then tern into noob heeds.

I do feel like am living like an 80 year old. Even my Nana who is like a year away from being 80 has moor of a life then me.
I am cold and have just said the same thing to someone else in a pm. even though the heating is hot enough in my home I am cold because I have done nothing to day. I talked to no one to day but a women that served me in a shop. Sucks to be alone..

Rant away dude rant away for all you can rant.. Its all you can do but rant sometimes. This is why you felt compelled to write this. Cos if you had someone to have a moan about honeysuckle to you would have done that instead of what we all do here witch is share our honeysuckle with in this forum.

 

[Jeremi]

Lonelydude, you sound like such a nice guy. You're a real hero for helping so many people with their problems, even while getting so little in return. That's something to be proud of! Hope you'll keep it up, because the world needs more people like you. Those guys doesn't deserve to be your friend. I'm sure that you'll meet good people eventually that will appreciate your kindness ^^b

 

[lonelydude]

Thank you for ur replies.

After reading alot of posts on alonelylife , ive realized that alot of us have been victimized by ppl's behaviour. Whats worse is that then ppl view you more as a tool than a human being with feelings. Ppl only talk to you when they want something, and when theyre done with you and you just wana say hi theyll ignore you, let alone do something in return for you... Its really not fair that people like this have alot of friends and alot of things to do, while caring people like us are the ones who get hurt. I actually learned this lesson a while ago...but i cant help it, im so lonely that i almost always end up helping anyone...i just need somebody to talk to

Oh well, rant as i must, but its not gonnna solve anything...Im gonna try and actually NOT HELP THOSE TARDS AGAIN. My mom used to do the same thing as me when she was my age and the same thing happened to her and she even got very very ill for almost a decade and nobody really bothered to ask her even how she was feeling.

So no matter how lonely i get, im gonna try and be headstrong...

thx again,

 

[Bluey]

lol yea a Tool is a brilliant way of putting it.

For some reason there is a lot of ppl in the world that do look at everyone like that. Then there is the ppl that are like YOU. You are a person that looks at someone and thinks what can I offer that person. There are the gives in this world and the takers.

You can put your heard down at night and know you have a clean conscience. Money dose not get you that mate.

Don't change who your are for this ppl. You well fined someone deserving of your self one day. There is good ppl out there you just have to fine one another.

 

[Minus]

.. Sorry if i seem to be using up ur time while writing this

Not at all, rant all you want.

I have several 'friends' that i only see when they want something. I haven't seen any of them in a few years so they must have found someone else to haul their furniture or whatever the chore of the day is.

I have introduced around several people who were new to the area and was always there, day and night, for a number of people going through rough times. While i expected nothing in return, how quickly i was forgotten and even rejected was a little puzzling, so i can understand your feelings and even ranting about it.

 

[lonelydude]

yea...i dont think i should change who I am for anyone , but ill be a hell lot more careful next time trustin people...Thats just how the world works nowadays, u trust the wrong pps and u end up paying for it. Sometimes its just plain weird to see ppl with whom uve known for and done so much for so long actually enjoy when u end up failing/getting humiliated. Even more puzzling is when they go out of their way to make sure u dont actually get something out of life, thats the part thats been puzzling me , why do they do this to us? shouldnt they be helping us out instead of making life tougher for us? U know what, maybe its time to do something. Since im in my last year of HS ill be gone from this wretched place and ill never have to see my "friends" faces again...

Thankk you very much for ur support every1. I really hope I can help you guys out when you need it , thats something id love to do

 

[20years2many]

I also have been through some similar experiences of being used and then dropped...it really makes me angry inside. I seem like a calm, collected person, but inside I'm just a molten pool of rage. I've tried to be the "*******" before. Funny thing is, I can't control my will to help other people- I'll immediately get myself attached, and then think back and regret ever caring. What I do to deal with this now is look at it on a personal level. Think about it this way- you can only control your own actions, and not the reactions of others. You and I and everyone here, it seems, does his or her best to be a good person, a supporting friend, a champion for the lonely, etc. Instead of thinking of all the time you wasted or the effort you put in to a wasted friendship/relationship, KNOW that you did the right thing. It may not bring you as much joy as a relationship would, but it is comforting to know that at least you're in the right.

 

[Jeremi]

I also have been through some similar experiences of being used and then dropped...it really makes me angry inside. I seem like a calm, collected person, but inside I'm just a molten pool of rage. I've tried to be the "*******" before. Funny thing is, I can't control my will to help other people- I'll immediately get myself attached, and then think back and regret ever caring. What I do to deal with this now is look at it on a personal level. Think about it this way- you can only control your own actions, and not the reactions of others. You and I and everyone here, it seems, does his or her best to be a good person, a supporting friend, a champion for the lonely, etc. Instead of thinking of all the time you wasted or the effort you put in to a wasted friendship/relationship, KNOW that you did the right thing. It may not bring you as much joy as a relationship would, but it is comforting to know that at least you're in the right.

Well spoken!

If they're not grateful for it, that's their problem, and they'll probably have to deal with their attitude in the future. You all on the other hand can hold your head up high for helping those people ^^b

 

[lonelydude]

U guys are right actually...Those guys are like parasites. Anyway in the future im gonna be alot more careful of who im gonna trust or even help. Getting hurt like this really made me sad for a long while...

 

[Porman]

lonelydude, i know how your feeling, school kids suck, they do.

I had a close friend, then he made friends with a guy that is a complete jurk off and he didnt like me, so my friend stopped talking to me and didnt even back me up when his friend was being a ****.

If people are getting you down, just remember you are better then them, good caring people get alot further in life then there type. and the real world isnt like school, youl meet the nastiest people at school lol.

 

[lonelydude]

Hi porman.
I agree that caring ppl like most of us ARE BETTER than those dumbasses. But i dunno if caring ppl get further in life...I just dont think the world really cares about caring ppl other than using or exploiting them...