There seems to be something inherently wrong with me. Should I get myself checked?

[SomeoneSomewhere]

So this past week, a couple of my friends cut me off. I won't get into the details of it but something happened that tells me that the friendship won't continue (we'll be more of acquaintances from now on, just for the sake of it more or less).

Now, I know exactly why this happened. I act disconnected, disinterested in anything they do. I barely join in on plans to go out and I barely even talk to them. I have been consciously doing this so I can cut them off when I move on to a new life and start afresh so it doesn't really bother me that they cut me off (if anything, I'm happy that the whole deal was made simpler for me). So what I wanted, happened, in short.

The thing is, this isn't the first time this has happened. I have never been able to get into a group and whenever I try to get into one, I get shunned at one point or the other (usually, during the beginning).

So I just want to know if there's something inherently wrong with me, as in, something that's coded into me and I can't change it. A personality disorder, maybe? Should I get checked?

 

[Dabnis_Brickey]

It could possibly be something "wrong" with you. These things are often too complex to diagnose without having details about the patterns exhibited. It doesn't hurt to seek a professional to discuss this.They should be able to provide you with more insight.

I think it would be a good idea for you to document your behavior during these times - at the point where you feel you are being shunned. You might find some kind of pattern to your behavior that can help you in future relationships.

As for myself, I know that I distance myself from others. I often have this weird tingly feeling when someone gets too close and that scares me away. I think I might be afraid either to disappoint them (most likely the case given my upbringing) or that they will see through me eventually and end up leaving.

Not sure if any of this helps. I wish you luck.

 

[will normal]

I don't think it's anything wrong with you, the person. There's something wrong with the people you're around. You probably are disconnected and disinterested because you're not on the same level as them when it comes to enjoying things. I never got along well in groups and I've very few friends as it is. I've always been mute when it came to being in groups and I tend to be the one with the "angry" look with his hands folded like a bodyguard when I am around people. The last time I was around people it was with my fiance's friends at a local bar celebrating one of her best friend's birthday. I admitted to her later on that I was very out of place and I was angry on the inside to the point where I actually wanted to kill somebody. I didn't talk most of that time and I just kept to myself. I was only there for support in my eyes, not to necessarily enjoy the company. Great people they are but I'm not a people person.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Sounds like you had some pretty shitty friends.

Honestly, you're better off without them. Friends are those who click with you. If you don't click with them, they probably did drop you because of that, but that just means you need to find someone else (who you click with better.)