Too many friends?

[the-alchemist]

Man, I remember a time, more than 1 year ago when I was completely lonely. I literally only had my mom, dad, and another friend of mine. There was a time when I would've done anything to have friends.

Here I am at my new place though, and here I've experienced the opposite. Too many people wants to be friend with me, I sorta feel that it's too much and as a result, I can't emotionally connect with anybody anymore. I see others who have a core circle of friends that they care about. But I don't, because everybody wants me to be their friend

I feel like I'm getting pulled from all directions, everybody wants to hang out with me. Everybody wants my phone number. But nobody really stimulates me anymore to be honest, I dunno, I wish I could have a deep friendship with a few people and be done with it. But now, geez, I don't know. I don't feel at home with anybody, don't feel like I have anybody to hold onto.

 

[jjam]

You went from being friendless to "too many" people wanting to be your friend, eh?

I'm sure many people here would appreciate you sharing the secret to making THAT happen.

 

[the-alchemist]

It's not as glamorous as you make it seem. The friendships become shallow and unfulfilling. I'd rather have 3 close friends than 20 shallow ones. Even though I have friends, I still feel lonely

 

[hye345]

Yeah I know how you feel... Another aspect that I notice (I don't know if its at this stage for you yet) is that within the big group of loosely connected friends, there are more tightly knit subgroups. This is something of a double-edged sword: the positive is that you have a wide selection of people to hang out with, and within each subgroup, you get the emotional connection you talk about. The negative is almost the same thing in reverse: each subgroup wants to hang out with you, and at times you have to parse your time. In my experience, this might lead to different people wanting to hang out with you on different days/times, which eventually gets draining both mentally and financially. Or, it leads to you having to orchestrate a night out with 2 or more subgroups at the same place/time, which gets stressful real fast.